All The Stars In The Night Sky
by BlueLion20
Summary: Esme now offering to make Bella into a vampire, is taking things into her own hands. But so is Victoria.
1. Esme's Decision

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me

Author: Leo500

Summary: Esme, as she realizes that she wants Bella as her daughter, despite the distance between them

Title: All the Stars in the Night Sky

Esme's POV:

Looking up at the shining lights in the sky, I knew that I was just wasting my time staring. Still, I couldn't help but realize something. Realize something that should have been clear as daylight to me before we left Forks. We were back in Forks now but it didn't make my stupidity any less obvious. I loved my family, I did. I loved all of them, but now I felt so utterly disgusted by my foolishness. As a mother, I left none of my children. But I did.

I was here for all of my children, and I would be now for the rest of eternity here for Bella just like I was for Edward and the rest of them, but the fact that I didn't realize what I felt and didn't prevent myself from leaving my youngest child was inexcusable.

I think I was in shock; when we first left Forks, I mean. I don't think I realized what it was my family and I had done at first. Edward told Carlisle, me and the rest that we were doing this for Bella's own good, that she would have a normal _happy _life. Carlisle and I had been so sure that we were doing the right thing. We never thought…..We never realized how much we had hurt her. We didn't realize how much she needed us here. But what was worse….I hadn't realized….It was the worst, my stupidity.

This was why, I now know, why specifically I'm staring up at the night sky. Up at the stars.

I realize that I am like the sky. The sky needed those stars. For without those many stars, the sky would be empty. It's too fitting that I identify with the night. The day has ceased to interest me. It has ever since I became a vampire.

I knew how to look after myself. Carlisle and Edward had shown me how to exist in the world of vampires after my transformation. I knew how to hunt, I knew how to avoid being seen by the humans while hunting and avoid sunlight while humans were around. They helped me restrain my bloodlust.

And yet, I still felt so empty without my dear baby son, William. I never got to know him. I barely had the time to hold him in my arms, but I loved him and always will love him. When Edward accepted me as his mother, I can't begin to express the happiness I felt. Then when Rosalie had been found and we had transformed her, afterwards promising we'd repair the damage that was done to her, emotionally and mentally, I saw my family grow.

It was horrific what happened to Rosalie, I myself knowing too well the terrors of men at their worst, but I saw an opportunity to aid and heal a child that was in need and if there was a higher power, like the one my Carlisle and Edward so deeply believed in, then I thank it for finally having the opportunity to look after a child and be with the child to comfort her.

Then when Rosalie brought Emmett to us, bleeding, ripped apart, mauled, I was shocked and horrified at first, and when I saw Carlisle bite him, changing him, I was both sad for whatever family he lost and yet overjoyed once more. This boy, while losing one family, would gain another. Maybe a family of monsters, but still a family. As soon as this noble, kind boy awoke; albeit awoke quite savage as any newborn, he was also still kind. And I realized after he spoke that I would love him forever.

Fifty years passed, and during those five decades we went from avoiding the humans to being cautious around the Volturi with their occasional….Um, "visits," then finally we had two more visitors.

Jasper Whitlock and Alice.

I thought they'd be the last two children we'd adopt, especially given how uninterested Edward acted towards most female vampires. And female humans. Naturally, at that time, we figured, even if Edward were to fall in love with a human, we would never turn her into a vampire. Our rule, back then, was that if your life was in danger, that was the only way you'd be changed. I used to believe that rule "to a T," as the humans say. I used to believe that rule, and would follow it religiously, no pun intended on Edward and Carlisle's part.

Now, I don't believe I care any longer.

Jasper and Alice were treasures. They were both unruly, strange and dear to us. Alice of course was wondrous and delightful. She brought light into all of our souls….If we had them. Edward doesn't believe we do.

Alice was lovely and sweet and knew how to tug at all of our undead heartstrings. Even Edward's. Jasper….Dear Jasper was a hard nut to crack, again, like something the humans have coined. He was difficult to understand and there were very serious issues he had. There were scars on his dead hear that he probably allowed no one except Alice to see.

When Jasper really started warming up to us, actually started acting like he wanted to be part of this family, the joy I felt was immeasurable, and I knew he felt it. He was an empath after all.

We all were very happy. We were together for almost a century and we didn't think we could be happier, unless of course, Edward found a mate. That, at the time was all I had cared about, apart from my family. In my foolish mind, because almost everything was perfect in our immortal lives, and Edward's happiness I felt was the only thing missing,

Finally, when Edward came home one day from school, seeming to be in a frustrated daze, I hadn't realized it yet, but a defining moment would occur for our family soon.

When my children revealed to me that Edward had finally fallen in love, it felt like I had just been given this beautiful immortal life full of family members a second time. Like I had been given pure happiness for the 100th time.

One thing that I didn't expect though, was that Edward's beloved was a human. I didn't care in that moment. I was shocked, but I only cared about Edward. That, I realize now was the fatal mistake that led me to this emotional torment I'm in now.

When Edward brought this human, Bella home to us to meet, we all, save for of course Rosalie who chose not to show herself, were on our best behavior. When I first met Bella, face to face, I truly felt taken aback. I felt as if I had met an angel on earth.

As vampires, we truly believe that all humans are terrified of us. This human remained unafraid. Even if she was just acting friendly, all of us, including Carlisle and I would have been able to sense her fear. We'd have seen it in her eyes and movements. This child had no fear of us.

That was the first thing about her that shocked me. The very first of many. The next was how accepting of us she was. Not being suspicious of us. Giving us perfect trust. Then there were her deep brown eyes. Her eyes were so understanding and kind. I could see it easily as if her kindness were clearer than the daylight we vampires have to avoid.

But then there was one other thing that intrigued me at the time. Though it was true, Bella felt no fear towards us, there was clearly something wrong when it came to intimacy. She was very difficult to get to open up. Given how unnerved she was around Carlisle and I and around Alice in terms of being intimate, she almost reminded me of a human version of a not so rough and not so angry Jasper.

She looked at us with trust and was unafraid, and yet, when I embraced her, careful not to even bruise her lightly and when Alice held her close, I saw a distance. It was like Bella was fearless with us as vampires, but when we tried to be more of a family to her, that was when she became afraid.

I find myself smiling sadly as I think about it. We really should have seen it long ago. I knew from Edward's description that the girl's mother wasn't as an attentive parent as she should have been, I knew that Edward described their relationship as being the "child taking care of the parent," I knew that. I knew that Bella hadn't seen her father, Charlie in years.

It wasn't as if I really needed my hearing to know that. Everyone in Forks talked about it. The poor sheriff's long lost daughter, finally coming home to Forks. Two years before Bella came to Forks, when my family and I returned to Forks, we heard about the sheriff in his loneliness; having his wife walking out on him as soon as their daughter was born. We always felt a great deal of sympathy for him, some of us were even curious, before Bella even came back as to what this mysterious daughter of Sheriff Swan's was like.

Nothing could have prepared me for who we met when Edward brought Bella to us. And when I think about it now, it's too obvious why she was so distanced from us at first, and even later on. What kind of life did Bella's parents think she'd have, growing up without another parent, and constantly having to look after the other parent as if she was the adult instead of the child?

Renee, if she can even call herself a mother, threw all of the responsibility on Bella's shoulders at a very young age. It's true, it's not as if Bella was constantly given the _expectation_ to be the parent, it wasn't like Renee forced Bella to be responsible. But given Renee's inability to give Bella the nurturing and love she so clearly needed, Bella has become emotionally awkward, nervous in situations where she is being intimate, and almost unable to express how she truly feels. As if emotionally she's numb, like she has a cover that's all an act.

She clearly has a hard time with relationships. Not just her relationship with Edward, just with any of us. With Carlisle, with me, with Alice and Emmett. With all of us, and I know that it's not because we're vampires.

I know I should never judge anyone who hasn't done any specifically horrible crime, especially if the person hasn't harmed a woman in any way, but Renee has angered me. Angered me in a way I never thought possible. Being so weak, leaving Bella to look after both herself and the woman that's supposed to be her mother, has made Bella cautious around people, slightly guarded, and has difficulty showing her real emotions without becoming quite nervous.

Bella doesn't know how to form or how to feel in an actual relationship. Not with any of us. She doesn't know how to respond to us when Carlisle and I show her affection. She seems confused whenever Alice embraces her and even became more confused when I once told her that she could see me as a mother if she wanted to.

Turning my attention to the ground, my smile becomes somber when I think about it. I saw Bella's confusion when I told her. I saw her consider it, but I'm not sure she understood what it meant. I don't think Renee ever actually took responsibility as Bella's mother or actually made her feel like a daughter, instead of allowing Bella to take care of _everything._

After my baby William died, I thought my life was over. Carlisle gave me a life where I could be a mother to many young vampires that were lost and needed a parent, but I hadn't even considered the possibility that I could take in a young human as my daughter for eternity.

I had heard Carlisle and Edward's driven arguments for almost longer than a century about how no one should be changed into a vampire unless they are in some kind of danger, but what more danger could there be than feeling unloved?

Edward insists that Bella not be changed into a vampire because he truly believes she will lose her soul and go to hell for it. Before, when we first left Forks, after Bella's birthday, I followed his belief and agreed that maybe it was the best for Bella if we were gone.

Now the things that Edward claim infuriate me.

How dare he take Bella's choice away of whether or not she can become a vampire? How dare he say whether or not Bella stays with us eternally. In some ways, Edward reminds me of Charles; my abusive human husband.

I know that's horrible. Seeing my own son who I've raised for almost a hundred years and who I've loved for so long, but I see the resemblance, and it's an ugly one.

Charles was charming enough outside with other people and with my own parents, but when he and I were alone, he didn't allow me to see my parents, my friends, or anyone else. He controlled my every move. Now, a century later and with a young woman who I've come to love as my own daughter, I see that I'm no better than my own parents. I left Bella, allowing Edward to control my and the rest of the family's actions.

Now Edward is trying to control Bella's every action. He removed the engine from her truck so that she couldn't see her werewolf friends.

I'll admit I'm not too fond of the werewolves myself, but there are miles of differences between how I feel about them and what Edward has done to _force _Bella not to go to them.

He doesn't have the right to tell her not to go to them, or to make her not to go to them.

Now that we're back in Forks and back in Bella's life, I swore to myself that I'd be an attentive parent to Bella. No matter what. I wouldn't abandon her ever again. I know, because when we left Forks and her, I realized something. Something all too important.

When we left, I felt so empty. So, so empty. I had left one of my dear children. What's more, I left a child that was and still is truly in need of a caring and loving mother. Edward didn't need a mother. For goodness sake, he had the most wonderful mother before Carlisle turned him, who begged Carlisle herself that her son be saved before she died.

And he even had Carlisle to himself for years before I was changed. And I actually once thought that this spoiled, attention monger needed a mother? That was ridiculous. Rosalie needed a mother. Jasper and I suspect Alice to a certain extent needed a mother. What was more the three of them, even Rosalie and Jasper admitted they wanted a mother after a few years. Bella needs a mother and I know, even though she's never talked about it, she certainly wants one.

When we left Bella in Forks, I realized that I was like the night sky that is above me. My family; Carlisle, Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Bella were my family. And when we left, I had lost one of my youngest stars. I had abandoned her. The realization, when it hit me after the third month of our departure, hurt so badly, I could barely stop myself from going to my knees on the ground and dry sobbing into a tree that I had been leaning against.

No tears came, and yet I so hoped they would. So hoped that there would be some sign for me that I had a conscience and hated myself for what I had done to my youngest child.

At that moment, I realized that I hadn't changed in the past hundred and fourteen or so years. What had I done? I obeyed Edward's rules and abandoned someone I loved, just like I bended every time that evil husband of mine, Charles so much as threatened me.

I might as well have never been changed into a vampire by Carlisle. I was in exactly the same place that I was when Carlisle first found me, almost dead after collapsing over that cliff.

I was just as pathetic now when ordered by Edward as I was when I trembled in terror when around Charles.

The two understandings that I came to would have made me vomit in disgust, had I eaten any human food. Not that we don't vomit anyway when we eat it but still. The first understanding that I came to love Bella so much that I wanted her as my daughter for the rest of eternity and that I had abandoned her was horrific enough, but seeing that Edward was perhaps the same in some ways as Charles almost made me escalate into destroying half the trees in Denali in those hours at those conclusions.

At that time, I had thanked whatever god that might have existed that Edward wasn't there; that he had chosen to go travel elsewhere so that he "could be alone." Because I knew at that moment, if he were there, I would have removed one of his limbs in my fury.

Before we came back, I spoke to the "mother figure" of the Denali coven, Carmen, and she actually smiled upon hearing what I told her. She knew what I was feeling all too well. When she and Eleazar first found Tanya, Irina and Kate in Russia; terrified and alone after seeing their own vampire mother Sasha and the immortal child burned to ashes by the Volturi, she had immediately felt protective of the three of them.

Unable to resist her motherly instinct, Carmen had looked after the three Denali sisters and has done so since then.

True, Eleazar used to be a Volturi guard, so that wasn't really a good thing for his and the three young female vampires' relationship, but Carmen luckily was able to persuade all of them to tolerate each other long enough for the three women to eventually see Eleazar as their father.

Carmen understood everything I was going through and knew how I felt. She promised she'd stay with the rest of my family and Carlisle while I went to check on Bella. Unfortunately, that wasn't necessary. Alice saw something in one of her visions and immediately went back to Forks to check on Bella.

Alice didn't tell any of us, even Jasper what she saw in her vision, only that it disturbed her greatly. She rushed off on her own. She didn't tell any of us….Or so I thought. A few hours later, Rosalie called Edward on his cell phone.

Apparently, Alice did in fact tell Rosalie what she saw, because my oldest daughter was telling Edward what it was.

When I heard what Rosalie said, telling him that Bella had jumped off a cliff…..I felt my whole world destroy, fall apart and decay in a putrid mass of filth. I had left one of my children, and she ended her own life as a result.

My parents left me to Charles and his abusive wrath, delivering me to my suffering and near end before Carlisle found me in the morgue, and now I did nothing but went with what Edward said and sent my little Bella into the same terrible disarray of pain and torment; giving her no way of escape except suicide.

At hearing this; my whole world, now numb, unfeeling and completely gray shattering and eroding, I threw my head back and roared throughout the house, the whole foundation shaking. I let out almost a thousand snarls, smashing the walls of the house and hurling the couch against a wall making the piece of furniture smash to bits.

My whole family, including Rosalie rushed to me, trying to calm me down, even though I know they were all suffering as well at hearing this.

Jasper collapsed to the ground onto his knees, his whole body wracking from the agony of all of our emotions, especially my downpour of anguish. He was almost screaming as he gripped his head, his face full of pain.

Carlisle tried to embrace me, tried to calm me down. I had been so insane with grief that I hadn't paid attention, but his face had contorted in identical agony as the rest of us. He turned to Jasper, pleading with him to send emotions to me to calm me down.

Jasper, unfortunately was having his own breakdown and couldn't do much for himself let alone anyone else right at that moment.

Thinking about it even now, months later after it's all over, it still makes me feel like I'm going to die a second time, never mind whether I'm human or vampire. Just letting the memory run loose through my marble head is enough to almost make me growl in agitation and dread.

I hadn't heard Edward respond to Rosalie over the phone; instead I heard him hang up abruptly at hearing that. I couldn't blame him. At hearing the woman he believed he loved so deeply was dead, he more than likely wanted to die.

It was actually a good thing that he hung up, because I know that if he had stayed on longer, I would have flitted upstairs to Rosalie and grabbed the phone from her, snarling at my first son and child that this was all his fault.

However, after a few minutes of contemplating to myself that Edward probably wanted to die upon hearing about Bella, another horrifying realization hit me. Oh, god, what if he did attempt to actually kill himself?

I remembered hearing Edward and Bella talk in the living room at one point before Bella's disastrous birthday party. They were watching "Romeo and Juliet," and Edward had brought up that if Bella had died at that murderous snake, James' hands, he would have gone to the Volturi and angered them, to the point where they'd kill him.

Horror sank in me and almost immediately as that thought struck me, I temporarily forgot my rage. I was not going to lose two children in one day!

When we went to Volterra and ran into the Volturi guards, Chelsea and her mate Afton, they told us that the three Volturi brothers, Aro, Caius and Marcus were judging Edward, Alice and as they put it, "the little human."

When I heard that, terror filled me at the thought of my children being harmed, but then, if it were possible, my dead heart would have skipped a beat. The little human? Bella? She was alive?

I was almost too afraid to hope. Too afraid to dream that it was true, that she was alive. Then of course, the reminder that if she was, she might not be for long if she was with the Volturi was the fear that reigned in my mind.

Finally, after almost an agonizing hour, all three of my missing children; yes all three returned to me and the rest of the family. And then I focused my attention on the clearly tired and drained, but very much alive Bella. I can't begin to describe the joy I felt at seeing her, and _smelling _her. Realizing that my youngest daughter was alive, it was all I could do to refrain from almost whimpering in happiness. The fact that several Volturi guards were there, and that Bella looked exhausted were the only things that kept me from lunging forwards and scooping the girl up in my arms and never letting go.

I laid my eyes on Edward who as usual was right next to her. At that moment, I remembered how manipulative and controlling he was to her and for a few moments I wanted to rip my venomous teeth into his neck, hard and scar him as a reminder for what he had done to her. Before I could stop myself, I had already created that frightening thought, and flinched when I saw Edward's golden eyes widen in shock. The visual I gave him clearly wasn't pleasant.

And now…..Now here I am, staring helplessly at the stars, loathing myself for allowing all of this to have happened. Both Edward and Bella are my children, why didn't I look after the _both _of them better. Damn my weak will. I was weak back with that monster, Charles and I was weak this time with my idiot son, Edward.

Well no more.

I look once more at the dark, starry sky. I have all of my stars back in my sky. I'm fulfilled once more. But there's only one way that I'll feel totally completed. It's if I have all of my children, for eternity.

Bella's call for a vote. Of course I was going to vote for her to become a vampire. How could I not? I loved her. I wanted to look after her and give her the love she deserved for eternity. At that moment, when I had answered Bella's question about whether or not I voted for her to be changed, I suspected that even if the whole family excluding me voted against Bella's transformation into a vampire, I wouldn't care. I knew that even if the whole family refused, I'd probably catch her alone one day and change her into a vampire anyway.

I immediately shielded my thoughts from Edward. I had already disturbed him enough for one night, no need to do it further. What I would do however, was make sure that Bella stayed with us. We had abandoned her long enough. It was time for her to take her place with the rest of the family, forever.

Thinking this, I know that I'm being very selfish and monstrous. I'm letting my more vampiric, more animalistic and greedy side take hold. But I don't care. I love Bella. I want her with us. And what's more I know that she wants to be with us for eternity as well, with Carlisle and I as her parents.

Never mind; I wanted to change her into a vampire myself.

She just doesn't know how to express it to us. She doesn't know how to convey such intense emotions.

I breathe in the night air. We vampires don't need to breathe at all, but it still feels nice to inhale air from outside. Especially on a night like this. I find myself staring at one particular star. It's a very small but very bright star. There was one other like that. I suppose you could say it was the star was the sibling to the one that I was looking at.

These two small, bright stars were two of my youngest. Once Alice and Jasper joined us, I always told myself that Alice was one of those tiny stars. So small but able to bring happiness to everyone she met.

Bella, as well was like the other small bright star. She was so controlled and it was difficult for her to give show of her emotions and yet everyone that met her loved her. My two bright little stars were as important to me as any of my children and my Carlisle.

Yes, too fitting that the daylight and the sun would mean nothing to me now, now that I was a monster. Only the night, stars and moon were my inspiration of passion.

Why would a vampire care for the day?

The day was full of empty promises anyway, even to a normal human. I smirk up at the stars one more time at that thought. It was the night that where anyone, human, vampire or other were truly alive.

Bella would never be left again so long as I could help it.

She wasn't Renee and Charlie's anymore. She was mine and Carlisle's.

She would be taken away from the human world, even if I had to do it myself.

I needed to go find her and tell her that I was sorry for ever even following Edward's instructions and tell her that she was my daughter as much as all the other children were. That unfortunately meant that I'd have to temporarily give up this wonderful sight of the stars and the night sky and go see her.

As I speedily went inside the house to get the car keys, I was met by two of my children. Alice and Jasper were both looking at me in amusement.

I found myself smiling at this. This didn't surprise me. Alice more than likely saw me going to Bella's house and telling her how much I loved her, and that she was going to always be part of the family.

I knew that she hadn't told Jasper; I would have heard them speaking inside, even from outside on the lawn if she had told him anything. But he clearly sensed some emotions in both of us that he was happy about, because he was smiling in enjoyment, probably because of the love and warmth that were coming off of both Alice and I.

I grabbed the keys from the shelf Carlisle had placed them on earlier, and turned back to the two wild vampires before me.

"I have to go see her, Alice," I said quietly, "We need her. She needs us. I don't care what Edward says anymore." That thought then makes me look at Alice more closely as I asked her something cautiously.

"Is Edward going to be anywhere near Bella's home tonight?" Was the question, knowing that I had to be careful of my son interfering.

"He was," Alice said, still smirking, "But he realized he needed to hunt unless he wanted to be more of a threat to her. So he took off hunting and Carlisle met up with him. He'll be gone another couple of hours."

I almost was unable to stop myself from grinning widely, almost revealing the more smug predatory part of my personality. So long as Edward didn't show up, Bella was ours. It wasn't like she would refuse anyway.

I knew that she had wanted to be a vampire for a very long time. The only matter at hand was getting her to admit that she wanted Carlisle and I as her parents.

I looked again at Alice and Jasper and spoke carefully, "When you see Edward again, the both of you hide your thoughts. Don't let him see what I intend, ever."

Jasper didn't know what this was about, obviously but he was not going to allow his mother and especially not Alice be in danger of Edward's anger ever, so he spoke for Alice.

"No, I won't let Edward see my thoughts, mother." He added the last word, obviously to "butter me up," as the human saying goes.

Smiling happily, I nodded to both of them, and started taking off to Carlisle's car outside, when I looked back over my shoulder at my two children and asked, "Alice, you do know what I know right? Bella…..She wasn't given a good parentage, was she?"

It might have been odd asking Alice something like that, but I figured that if anyone knew that, Alice did, either by her visions or because she, out of all of us except for Edward, had been with Bella the longest.

Alice lost smile and shook her head sadly.

"No," She said quietly, "Charlie loves her far more than her mother, Renee does, but Renee kept Bella from Charlie for so long that he's practically a stranger to her now. And Renee couldn't know how to love her correctly even if she was forced with lessons of how to love Bella."

I almost flinched. It was like I had believed. Edward had described how Bella talked about her and her mother's relationship, and she had also talked about this to Alice. Whatever the source of information, I believed it.

I turned back to the door and walked out to the car. It was time to drive to Bella's house.

**Half an hour later:**

I reached Bella's house and parked a block from it. I got out and went past all the sidewalks to her house, finding the tree that Edward and Alice had used all this time to sneak into Bella's window.

Looking at the window, I find myself guilt stricken again. How could I have allowed Edward to sneak into Bella's room even before they started becoming a couple? Was Edward's happiness really so important to me back then that I had ignored how controlling he had been even then.

He had come into her room uninvited, uncaring whether she wanted him there or not. I amend that I'm about to do the same, however, I at least am going to let her know and am going to be there for a more or less good reason.

Although, I'm not entirely sure I believe this.

As vampires, all of us, by instinct stalk those that we're interested in. It doesn't matter if we mean to kill them and drain them of their blood, or if we want them as our mates, or if we just want them as part of our coven like I wanted Bella as our daughter.

Stalking and hunting is natural for us Vampires, even when we're hunting those we just want as part of our families. Still, I find myself disgusted with the actions I'm about to take.

I flit up into the tree branches, pulling up till I'm right outside the somewhat open glass window. Bella must tend to open the window so that Edward or Alice can get inside more easily.

Strangely, Bella has never condemned any of us for Edward coming in without permission and never yelled at him. I looked through the window and was startled greatly when I saw that Bella wasn't in her room. I was about to get inside the house to look for her when a small gust of wind came by and hit my nose.

Bella's scent filled my sense of smell and I snapped my head towards the woods where the scent came from.

What was Bella doing off in the woods? On her own?

Fear gripped me again for perhaps the tenth time these past two days. At that moment I didn't care if someone saw me. I leapt down from the tree, and with inhuman speed went into the forest after Bella.

As I entered the forest, rushing past the obelisk tall trees, her scent got thicker and stronger.

She was definitely this way; I thought. But why? What reason did she have for going this deeply into the woods? Was she looking for Edward? Why? She knew that he'd always come back so that he could obsess over her in a controlling manner. Or was she hoping that he wouldn't find her? I wasn't sure what happened but I needed to go find her. I needed to speak and plead with her about this.

I knew by now that I had given in almost completely to the greed of my vampire side; I didn't care for any distractions or anything to try and get in my way of changing Bella into a vampire. Even my own first son.

I'd take her away from the human world myself if I'd have to.

**Author's Note:**

**Okay, sorry if Esme seems out of character at all. Or if she came off as a little sinister. Though that was kind of my intention. Kind of.**

**One of the things that gets to me about the Twilight series is that we never get that much emotional insight on some of the characters.**

**Esme is one of those characters. We never get a very clear look at how she feels or what she's going to do throughout the series, and we never actually explore her relationship with her children, especially with Bella, so I really wish we had gotten more of that. **

**There will be a chapter after this, just need to gather my thoughts for it.**


	2. Esme's Decision Revised

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me

Author: Leo500

Summary: Esme, as she realizes that she wants Bella as her daughter, despite the distance between them

Title: All the Stars in the Night Sky

Esme's POV:

Looking up at the shining lights in the sky, I knew that I was just wasting my time staring. Still, I couldn't help but realize something. Realize something that should have been clear as daylight to me.

For being a vampire, I know that I'm incredibly blessed. Almost no vampire had the luck I had with the coven that I was in. I love my family, I do. I love all of them, but now I felt so utterly disgusted by my foolishness.

I knew how to look after myself. Carlisle and Edward had shown me how to exist in the world of vampires after my transformation. I knew how to hunt, I knew how to avoid being seen by the humans while hunting and avoid sunlight while humans were around. They helped me restrain my bloodlust.

I couldn't imagine how horrific my eternity would be without them.

And yet, I still felt so empty without my dear baby son, William. I never got to know him. I barely had the time to hold him in my arms, but I loved him and always will love him. When Edward accepted me as his mother, I can't begin to express the happiness I felt. Then when Rosalie had been found and we had transformed her, afterwards promising we'd repair the damage that was done to her, emotionally and mentally, I saw my family grow.

It was horrific what happened to Rosalie, I myself knowing too well the terrors of men at their worst, but I never was allowed time to comfort my son William when he was in pain or when he was scared and alone, so I saw an opportunity to aid and heal a child that was in need and if there was a higher power, like the one my Carlisle and Edward so deeply believed in, then I thank it for finally having the chance to look after a child and be with the child to comfort her.

Then when Rosalie brought Emmett to us, bleeding, ripped apart, mauled, I was shocked and horrified at first, and when I saw Carlisle bite him, changing him, I was both sad for whatever family he lost and yet overjoyed once more. This boy, while losing one family, would gain another. Maybe a family of monsters, but still a family. As soon as this noble, kind boy awoke; albeit awoke quite savage as any newborn, he was also still kind. And I realized after he spoke that I would love him forever.

Fifty years passed, and during those five decades we went from avoiding the humans to being cautious around the Volturi with their occasional….Um, "visits," then finally we had two more visitors.

Jasper Whitlock and Alice.

I thought they'd be the last two children we'd adopt, especially given how uninterested Edward acted towards most female vampires. And female humans. Naturally, at that time, we figured, even if Edward were to fall in love with a human, we would never turn her into a vampire. Our rule, back then, was that if your life was in danger, that was the only way you'd be changed. I used to believe that rule "to a T," as the humans say. I used to believe that rule, and would follow it religiously, no pun intended on Edward and Carlisle's part.

Now, I don't believe I care any longer.

Jasper and Alice were treasures. They were both unruly, strange and dear to us. Alice of course was wondrous and delightful. She brought light into all of our souls….If we had them. Edward doesn't believe we do.

Alice was lovely and sweet and knew how to tug at all of our undead heartstrings. Even Edward's. Jasper….Dear Jasper was a hard nut to crack, again, like something the humans have coined. He was difficult to understand and there were very serious issues he had. There were scars on his dead heart that he probably allowed no one except Alice to see.

When Jasper really started warming up to us, actually started acting like he wanted to be part of this family, the joy I felt was immeasurable, and I knew he felt it. He was an empath after all.

We all were very happy. We were together for almost a century and we didn't think we could be happier, unless of course, Edward found a mate. That, at the time was all I had cared about, apart from my family. In my foolish mind, because almost everything was perfect in our immortal lives, and Edward's happiness I felt was the only thing missing,

Finally, when Edward came home one day from school, seeming to be in a frustrated daze, I hadn't realized it yet, but a defining moment would occur for our family soon.

When my children revealed to me that Edward had finally fallen in love, it felt like I had just been given this beautiful immortal life full of family members a second time. Like I had been given pure happiness for the 100th time.

One thing that I didn't expect though, was that Edward's beloved was a human. I didn't care in that moment. I was shocked, but I only cared about Edward. That, I realize now was the fatal mistake that led me to this emotional torment I'm in now.

When Edward brought this human, Bella home to us to meet, we all, save for of course Rosalie who chose not to show herself, were on our best behavior. When I first met Bella, face to face, I truly felt taken aback. I felt as if I had met an angel on earth.

As vampires, we truly believe that all humans are terrified of us. This human remained unafraid. Even if she was just acting friendly, all of us, including Carlisle and I would have been able to sense her fear. We'd have seen it in her eyes and movements. This child had no fear of us.

That was the first thing about her that shocked me. The very first of many. The next was how accepting of us she was. Not being suspicious of us. Giving us perfect trust. Then there were her deep brown eyes. Her eyes were so understanding and kind. I could see it easily as if her kindness were clearer than the daylight we vampires have to avoid.

But then there was one other thing that intrigued me at the time. Though it was true, Bella felt no fear towards us, there was clearly something wrong when it came to intimacy. She was very difficult to get to open up. Given how unnerved she was around Carlisle and I and around Alice in terms of being intimate, she almost reminded me of a human and female version of a not so rough and not so angry Jasper.

She looked at us with trust and was unafraid, and yet, when I embraced her, careful not to even bruise her lightly and when Alice held her close, I saw a distance. It was like Bella was fearless with us as vampires, but when we tried to be more of a family to her, that was when she became afraid.

I find myself smiling sadly as I think about it. We really should have seen it long ago. I knew from Edward's description that the girl's mother wasn't as an attentive parent as she should have been, I knew that Edward described their relationship as being the "child taking care of the parent," I knew that. I knew that Bella hadn't seen her father, Charlie in years.

It wasn't as if I really needed my hearing to know that. Everyone in Forks talked about it. The poor sheriff's long lost daughter, finally coming home to Forks. Two years before Bella came to Forks, when my family and I returned to Forks, we heard about the sheriff in his loneliness; having his wife walking out on him as soon as their daughter was born. We always felt a great deal of sympathy for him, some of us were even curious, before Bella even came back as to what this mysterious daughter of Sheriff Swan's was like.

Nothing could have prepared me for who we met when Edward brought Bella to us. And when I think about it now, it's too obvious why she was so distanced from us at first, and even later on. What kind of life did Bella's parents think she'd have, growing up without another parent, and constantly having to look after the other parent as if she was the adult instead of the child?

Renee, if she can even call herself a mother, threw all of the responsibility on Bella's shoulders at a very young age. It's true, it's not as if Bella was constantly given the _expectation_ to be the parent, it wasn't like Renee forced Bella to be responsible. But given Renee's inability to give Bella the nurturing and love she so clearly needed, Bella has become emotionally awkward, nervous in situations where she is being intimate, and almost unable to express how she truly feels. As if emotionally she's numb, like she has a cover that's all an act.

She clearly has a hard time with relationships. Not just her relationship with Edward, just with any of us. With Carlisle, with me, with Alice and Emmett. With all of us, and I know that it's not because we're vampires.

I know I should never judge anyone who hasn't done any specifically horrible crime, especially if the person hasn't harmed a woman in any way, but Renee has angered me. Angered me in a way I never thought possible. Being so weak, leaving Bella to look after both herself and the woman that's supposed to be her mother, has made Bella cautious around people, slightly guarded, and has difficulty showing her real emotions without becoming quite nervous.

Bella doesn't know how to form or how to feel in an actual relationship. Not with any of us. She doesn't know how to respond to us when Carlisle and I show her affection. She seems confused whenever Alice embraces her and even became more confused when I once told her that she could see me as a mother if she wanted to.

Turning my attention to the grass covered ground, my smile becomes somber when I think about it. I saw Bella's confusion when I told her. I saw her consider it, but I'm not sure she understood what it meant. I don't think Renee ever actually took responsibility as Bella's mother or actually made her feel like a daughter, instead of allowing Bella to take care of _everything._

But then again, was I any better? I left with everyone else after Bella's birthday. We were back in Forks now but it didn't make my stupidity any less obvious. As a mother, I left none of my children. But I did.

I was here for all of my children, and I would be now for the rest of eternity here for Bella just like I was for Edward and the rest of them, but the fact that I didn't realize what I felt and didn't prevent myself from leaving my youngest child was inexcusable.

I think I was in shock; when we first left Forks, I mean. I don't think I realized what it was my family and I had done at first. Edward told Carlisle, me and the rest that we were doing this for Bella's own good, that she would have a normal _happy _life. Carlisle and I had been so sure that we were doing the right thing. We never thought…..We never realized how much we had hurt her. We didn't realize how much she needed us here. But what was worse….I hadn't realized….It was the worst, my stupidity.

This was why, I now know, why specifically I'm staring up at the night sky. Up at the stars.

I realize that I am like the sky. The sky needed those stars. For without those many stars, the sky would be empty. It's too fitting that I identify with the night. The day has ceased to interest me. It has ever since I became a vampire.

Now that we're back in Forks and back in Bella's life, I've sworn to myself that I'll be an attentive parent to Bella. No matter what. I will never abandon her ever again. I know, because when we left Forks and her, I realized something. Something all too important.

When we left, I felt so empty. So, so empty. I had left one of my dear children. What's more, I left a child that was and still is truly in need of a caring and loving mother. Edward didn't need a mother. For goodness sake, he had the most wonderful mother before Carlisle turned him, who begged Carlisle herself that her son be saved before she died.

And he even had Carlisle to himself for years before I was changed. And I actually once thought that this spoiled, attention monger needed a mother? That was ridiculous. Rosalie needed a mother. Jasper and I suspect Alice to a certain extent needed a mother. What was more the three of them, even Rosalie and Jasper admitted they wanted a mother after a few years. Bella needs a mother and I know, even though she's never talked about it, she certainly wants one.

When we left Bella in Forks, I realized that I was like the night sky that is above me. My family; Carlisle, Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Bella were my family. And when we left, I had lost one of my youngest stars. I had abandoned her. The realization, when it hit me after the third month of our departure, hurt so badly, I could barely stop myself from going to my knees on the ground and dry sobbing into a tree that I had been leaning against.

No tears came, and yet I so hoped they would. So hoped that there would be some sign for me that I had a conscience and hated myself for what I had done to my youngest child.

At that moment, I realized that I hadn't changed in the past hundred and fourteen or so years. What had I done? I obeyed Edward's rules and abandoned someone I loved, just like I bended every time that evil husband of mine, Charles so much as threatened me.

I might as well have never been changed into a vampire by Carlisle. I was in exactly the same place that I was when Carlisle first found me, almost dead after collapsing over that cliff.

I was just as pathetic now when ordered by Edward as I was when I trembled in terror when around Charles.

The two understandings that I came to would have made me vomit in disgust, had I eaten any human food. Not that we don't vomit anyway when we eat it but still. The first understanding that I came to love Bella so much that I wanted her as my daughter for the rest of eternity and that I had abandoned her was horrific enough, but seeing that Edward was perhaps the same in some ways as Charles almost made me escalate into destroying half the trees in Denali in those hours at those conclusions.

I know very well what feeling like one's life has been ripped apart. I'm all too familiar with it. The loss of hope I felt after we abandoned Bella was the same hopelessness I felt when I was found almost dead on the beach when I tried to commit suicide as a human.

After my baby William died, I thought my life was over. Carlisle gave me a life where I could be a mother to many young vampires that were lost and needed a parent, but I hadn't even considered the possibility that I could take in a young human as my daughter for eternity.

I had heard Carlisle and Edward's driven arguments for almost longer than a century about how no one should be changed into a vampire unless they are in some kind of danger, but what more danger could there be than feeling unloved?

Edward insists that Bella not be changed into a vampire because he truly believes she will lose her soul and go to hell for it. Before, when we first left Forks, after Bella's birthday, I followed his belief and agreed that maybe it was the best for Bella if we were gone.

Now the things that Edward claim infuriate me.

How dare he take Bella's choice away of whether or not she can become a vampire? How dare he say whether or not Bella stays with us eternally. In some ways, Edward reminds me of Charles; my abusive human husband.

I know that's horrible. Seeing my own son who I've raised for almost a hundred years and who I've loved for so long, but I see the resemblance, and it's an ugly one.

Charles was charming enough outside with other people and with my own parents, but when he and I were alone, he didn't allow me to see my parents, my friends, or anyone else. He controlled my every move. Now, a century later and with a young woman who I've come to love as my own daughter, I see that I'm no better than my own parents. I left Bella, allowing Edward to control my and the rest of the family's actions.

Now Edward is trying to control Bella's every action. He removed the engine from her truck so that she couldn't see her werewolf friends.

I'll admit I'm not too fond of the werewolves myself, but there are miles of differences between how I feel about them and what Edward has done to _force _Bella not to go to them.

He doesn't have the right to tell her not to go to them, or to make her not to go to them.

Back when we had still left Bella, when we were in Denali, I starting coming to understand just how manipulative Edward truly was as I started having doubts in my mind whether Edward was honest with us when he said that Bella didn't want to see us again.

At that time, I had thanked whatever god that might have existed that Edward wasn't there; that he had chosen to go travel elsewhere so that he "could be alone." Because I knew at that moment, if he were there, I would have removed one of his limbs in my fury.

Before we came back, I spoke to the "mother figure" of the Denali coven, Carmen, and she actually smiled upon hearing what I told her. She knew what I was feeling all too well. When she and Eleazar first found Tanya, Irina and Kate in Russia; terrified and alone after seeing their own vampire mother Sasha and the immortal child burned to ashes by the Volturi, she had immediately felt protective of the three of them.

Unable to resist her motherly instinct, Carmen had looked after the three Denali sisters and has done so since then.

True, Eleazar used to be a Volturi guard, so that wasn't really a good thing for his and the three young female vampires' relationship, but Carmen luckily was able to persuade all of them to tolerate each other long enough for the three women to eventually see Eleazar as their father.

Carmen understood everything I was going through and knew how I felt. She promised she'd stay with the rest of my family and Carlisle while I went to check on Bella. Unfortunately, that wasn't necessary. Alice saw something in one of her visions and immediately went back to Forks to check on Bella.

Alice didn't tell any of us, even Jasper what she saw in her vision, only that it disturbed her greatly. She rushed off on her own. She didn't tell any of us….Or so I thought. A few hours later, Rosalie called Edward on his cell phone.

Apparently, Alice did in fact tell Rosalie what she saw, because my oldest daughter was telling Edward what it was.

When I heard what Rosalie said, telling him that Bella had jumped off a cliff…..I felt my whole world destroy, fall apart and decay in a putrid mass of filth. I had left one of my children, and she ended her own life as a result.

My parents left me to Charles and his abusive wrath, delivering me to my suffering and near end before Carlisle found me in the morgue, and now I did nothing but went with what Edward said and sent my little Bella into the same terrible disarray of pain and torment; giving her no way of escape except suicide.

At hearing this; my whole world, now numb, unfeeling and completely gray shattering and eroding, I threw my head back and roared throughout the house, the whole foundation shaking. I let out almost a thousand snarls, smashing the walls of the house and hurling the couch against a wall making the piece of furniture smash to bits.

My whole family, including Rosalie rushed to me, trying to calm me down, even though I know they were all suffering as well at hearing this.

Jasper collapsed to the ground onto his knees, his whole body wracking from the agony of all of our emotions, especially my downpour of anguish. He was almost screaming as he gripped his head, his face full of pain.

Carlisle tried to embrace me, tried to calm me down. I had been so insane with grief that I hadn't paid attention, but his face had contorted in identical agony as the rest of us. He turned to Jasper, pleading with him to send emotions to me to calm me down.

Jasper, unfortunately was having his own breakdown and couldn't do much for himself let alone anyone else right at that moment.

Thinking about it even now, months later after it's all over, it still makes me feel like I'm going to die a second time, never mind whether I'm human or vampire. Just letting the memory run loose through my marble head is enough to almost make me growl in agitation and dread.

I hadn't heard Edward respond to Rosalie over the phone; instead I heard him hang up abruptly at hearing that. I couldn't blame him. At hearing the woman he believed he loved so deeply was dead, he more than likely wanted to die.

It was actually a good thing that he hung up, because I know that if he had stayed on longer, I would have flitted upstairs to Rosalie and grabbed the phone from her, snarling at my first son and child that this was all his fault.

However, after a few minutes of contemplating to myself that Edward probably wanted to die upon hearing about Bella, another horrifying realization hit me. Oh, god, what if he did attempt to actually kill himself?

I remembered hearing Edward and Bella talk in the living room at one point before Bella's disastrous birthday party. They were watching "Romeo and Juliet," and Edward had brought up that if Bella had died at that murderous snake, James' hands, he would have gone to the Volturi and angered them, to the point where they'd kill him.

Horror sank in me and almost immediately as that thought struck me, I temporarily forgot my rage. I was not going to lose two children in one day!

When we went to Volterra and ran into the Volturi guards, Chelsea and her mate Afton, they told us that the three Volturi brothers, Aro, Caius and Marcus were judging Edward, Alice and as they put it, "the little human."

When I heard that, terror filled me at the thought of my children being harmed, but then, if it were possible, my dead heart would have skipped a beat. The little human? Bella? She was alive?

I was almost too afraid to hope. Too afraid to dream that it was true, that she was alive. Then of course, the reminder that if she was, she might not be for long if she was with the Volturi was the fear that reigned in my mind.

Finally, after almost an agonizing hour, all three of my missing children; yes all three returned to me and the rest of the family. And then I focused my attention on the clearly tired and drained, but very much alive Bella. I can't begin to describe the joy I felt at seeing her, and _smelling _her. Realizing that my youngest daughter was alive, it was all I could do to refrain from almost whimpering in happiness. The fact that several Volturi guards were there, and that Bella looked exhausted were the only things that kept me from lunging forwards and scooping the girl up in my arms and never letting go.

I laid my eyes on Edward who as usual was right next to her. At that moment, I remembered how manipulative and controlling he was to her and for a few moments I wanted to rip my venomous teeth into his neck, hard and scar him as a reminder for what he had done to her. Before I could stop myself, I had already created that frightening thought, and flinched when I saw Edward's golden eyes widen in shock. The visual I gave him clearly wasn't pleasant.

And now…..Now here I am, staring helplessly at the stars, loathing myself for allowing all of this to have happened. Both Edward and Bella are my children, why didn't I _look after _the _both _of them better. Damn my weak will. I was weak back with that monster, Charles and I was weak this time with my idiot son, Edward.

Well no more.

I look once more at the dark, starry sky. I have all of my stars back in my sky. I'm fulfilled once more. But there's only one way that I'll feel totally completed. It's if I have all of my children, for eternity.

Bella's call for a vote. Of course I was going to vote for her to become a vampire. How could I not? I loved her. I wanted to look after her and give her the love she deserved for eternity. At that moment, when I had answered Bella's question about whether or not I voted for her to be changed, I suspected that even if the whole family excluding me voted against Bella's transformation into a vampire, I wouldn't care. I knew that even if the whole family refused, I'd probably catch her alone one day and change her into a vampire anyway.

I immediately shielded my thoughts from Edward. I had already disturbed him enough for one night, no need to do it further. What I would do however, was make sure that Bella stayed with us. We had abandoned her long enough. It was time for her to take her place with the rest of the family, forever.

Thinking this, I know that I'm being very selfish and monstrous. I'm letting my more vampiric, more animalistic and greedy side take hold. But I don't care. I love Bella. I want her with us. And what's more I know that she wants to be with us for eternity as well, with Carlisle and I as her parents.

Never mind; I wanted to change her into a vampire myself.

She just doesn't know how to express it to us. She doesn't know how to convey such intense emotions.

I breathe in the night air. We vampires don't need to breathe at all, but it still feels nice to inhale air from outside. Especially on a night like this. I find myself staring at one particular star. It's a very small but very bright star. There was one other like that. I suppose you could say it was the star was the sibling to the one that I was looking at.

These two small, bright stars were two of my youngest. Once Alice and Jasper joined us, I always told myself that Alice was one of those tiny stars. So small but able to bring happiness to everyone she met.

Bella, as well was like the other small bright star. She was so controlled and it was difficult for her to give show of her emotions and yet everyone that met her loved her. My two bright little stars were as important to me as any of my children and my Carlisle.

Yes, too fitting that the daylight and the sun would mean nothing to me now, now that I was a monster. Only the night, stars and moon were my inspiration of passion.

Why would a vampire care for the day?

The day was full of empty promises anyway, even to a normal human. I smirk up at the stars one more time at that thought. It was the night that where anyone, human, vampire or other were truly alive.

Bella would never be left again so long as I could help it.

She wasn't Renee and Charlie's anymore. She was mine and Carlisle's.

She would be taken away from the human world, even if I had to do it myself.

I needed to go find her and tell her that I was sorry for ever even following Edward's instructions and tell her that she was my daughter as much as all the other children were. That unfortunately meant that I'd have to temporarily give up this wonderful sight of the stars and the night sky and go see her.

As I speedily went inside the house to get the car keys, I was met by two of my children. Alice and Jasper were both looking at me in amusement.

I found myself smiling at this. This didn't surprise me. Alice more than likely saw me going to Bella's house and telling her how much I loved her, and that she was going to always be part of the family.

I knew that she hadn't told Jasper; I would have heard them speaking inside, even from outside on the lawn if she had told him anything. But he clearly sensed some emotions in both of us that he was happy about, because he was smiling in enjoyment, probably because of the love and warmth that were coming off of both Alice and I.

I grabbed the keys from the shelf Carlisle had placed them on earlier, and turned back to the two wild vampires before me.

"I have to go see her, Alice," I said quietly, "We need her. She needs us. I don't care what Edward says anymore." That thought then makes me look at Alice more closely as I asked her something cautiously.

"Is Edward going to be anywhere near Bella's home tonight?" Was the question, knowing that I had to be careful of my son interfering.

"He was," Alice said, still smirking, "But he realized he needed to hunt unless he wanted to be more of a threat to her. So he took off hunting and Carlisle met up with him. He'll be gone another couple of hours."

I almost was unable to stop myself from grinning widely, almost revealing the more smug predatory part of my personality. So long as Edward didn't show up, Bella was ours. It wasn't like she would refuse anyway.

I knew that she had wanted to be a vampire for a very long time. The only matter at hand was getting her to admit that she wanted Carlisle and I as her parents.

I looked again at Alice and Jasper and spoke carefully, "When you see Edward again, the both of you hide your thoughts. Don't let him see what I intend, ever."

Jasper didn't know what this was about, obviously but he was not going to allow his mother and especially not Alice be in danger of Edward's anger ever, so he spoke for Alice.

"No, I won't let Edward see my thoughts, mother." He added the last word, obviously to "butter me up," as the human saying goes.

Smiling happily, I nodded to both of them, and started taking off to Carlisle's car outside, when I looked back over my shoulder at my two children and asked, "Alice, you do know what I know right? Bella…..She wasn't given a good parentage, was she?"

It might have been odd asking Alice something like that, but I figured that if anyone knew that, Alice did, either by her visions or because she, out of all of us except for Edward, had been with Bella the longest.

Alice lost smile and shook her head sadly.

"No," She said quietly, "Charlie loves her far more than her mother, Renee does, but Renee kept Bella from Charlie for so long that he's practically a stranger to her now. And Renee couldn't know how to love her correctly even if she was forced with lessons of how to love Bella."

I almost flinched. It was like I had believed. Edward had described how Bella talked about her and her mother's relationship, and she had also talked about this to Alice. Whatever the source of information, I believed it.

I turned back to the door and walked out to the car. It was time to drive to Bella's house.

**Half an hour later:**

I reached Bella's house and parked a block from it. I got out and went past all the sidewalks to her house, finding the tree that Edward and Alice had used all this time to sneak into Bella's window.

Looking at the window, I find myself guilt stricken again. How could I have allowed Edward to sneak into Bella's room even before they started becoming a couple? Was Edward's happiness really so important to me back then that I had ignored how controlling he had been even then.

He had come into her room uninvited, uncaring whether she wanted him there or not. I amend that I'm about to do the same, however, I at least am going to let her know and am going to be there for a more or less good reason.

Although, I'm not entirely sure I believe this.

As vampires, all of us, by instinct stalk those that we're interested in. It doesn't matter if we mean to kill them and drain them of their blood, or if we want them as our mates, or if we just want them as part of our coven like I wanted Bella as our daughter.

Stalking and hunting is natural for us Vampires, even when we're hunting those we just want as part of our families. Still, I find myself disgusted with the actions I'm about to take.

I flit up into the tree branches, pulling up till I'm right outside the somewhat open glass window. Bella must tend to open the window so that Edward or Alice can get inside more easily.

Strangely, Bella has never condemned any of us for Edward coming in without permission and never yelled at him. I looked through the window and was startled greatly when I saw that Bella wasn't in her room. I was about to get inside the house to look for her when a small gust of wind came by and hit my nose.

Bella's scent filled my sense of smell and I snapped my head towards the woods where the scent came from.

What was Bella doing off in the woods? On her own?

Fear gripped me again for perhaps the tenth time these past two days. At that moment I didn't care if someone saw me. I leapt down from the tree, and with inhuman speed went into the forest after Bella.

As I entered the forest, rushing past the obelisk tall trees, her scent got thicker and stronger.

She was definitely this way; I thought. But why? What reason did she have for going this deeply into the woods? Was she looking for Edward? Why? She knew that he'd always come back so that he could obsess over her in a controlling manner. Or was she hoping that he wouldn't find her? I wasn't sure what happened but I needed to go find her. I needed to speak and plead with her about this.

I knew by now that I had given in almost completely to the greed of my vampire side; I didn't care for any distractions or anything to try and get in my way of changing Bella into a vampire. Even my own first son.

I'd take her away from the human world myself if I'd have to.

**Author's Note:**

**Okay, sorry if Esme seems out of character at all. Or if she came off as a little sinister. Though that was kind of my intention. Kind of.**

**One of the things that gets to me about the Twilight series is that we never get that much emotional insight on some of the characters.**

**Esme is one of those characters. We never get a very clear look at how she feels or what she's going to do throughout the series, and we never actually explore her relationship with her children, especially with Bella, so I really wish we had gotten more of that. **

**There will be a chapter after this, just need to gather my thoughts for it.**


	3. Bella Rejection

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters**

**Rating: k+**

**Genre: Angst/Family**

**All the Stars In the Night Sky: Chapter Two: Rejection**

**Note: Warning: Esme gets kinda scary in this chapter, possible nightmare fuel ahead**

**Bella's POV:**

I needed to get away for a while. Relieve myself of Edward's constant attention for just an hour or something. Knowing Edward, if he knew that I was wondering off, he probably would grab me and drag me back to my bedroom so that he could obsess over me for the rest of the night without doing anything. Seriously, was just one hour of being alone without him too much to ask?

I had wisely put on shoes before going out into the forest. I liked how the grass felt against my feet but considering how many vampires are running around Forks, and taking into account how clumsy I am, there was too much of a risk that I'd hit my feet against something or something would cut my feet and I'd bleed and all hell would break loose.

Charlie was asleep; I had listened very closely just to make sure of it. There was no need to worry about him coming out and looking for me unless he went into my room to look for me, which he rarely did anymore now that the Cullens were back. Thinking of it now, I really have to feel sorry for him. He really tried so hard to be a good father to me. He didn't know exactly how but he had been caring and tried to be as loving and understanding as any father could be. Without him, I think I would have completely been devastated.

I stare straight ahead at the greenest of surroundings in the forest that I was going into. The Hoh rainforest was the most beautiful forest one could ask to have near your house but even that didn't take away from the misery that I've been feeling, even after Edward and his family came back.

I was in a serious depression when they left, but nothing has changed since they returned. As that thought goes through my head, another wave of anger and frustration hits me and I realize that I need to sit down unless I just want to burst into tears right here and now. I look over to my left and see a log totally covered and filthy with moss. I don't care how dirty the said moss might be or how wet it probably is, I need to sit down. I stumble over to the greenery covered piece of wood and place myself down. As I land on my rear, I let out an upset sigh from my throat.

I sit and continue to stare at all of the gargantuan trees all around me. I know that these trees are old, almost 1600 years old. I wonder, how many of these trees exactly are older than even Carlisle, who is just a little older than 400? When it becomes clear to me what question I just thought to myself, I actually laughed.

"Oh wow, Bella," I laughed, not caring that talking to myself was not a good sign of sanity, "Seriously. Bring out the mundane questions. Really, you're not going crazy at all." I felt moisture start to accumulate at the corner of one of my eyes, and quickly wiped it away, terrified of actually allowing myself to cry over how broken I was.

Thinking over it now, why was I so shocked that Edward and his family left me? What did me, a mere human, and a really plain, normal and boring human I might add, have that would keep a family of unimaginably beautiful vampires with me? Nothing, of course.

So why were they back? I really had no idea, but they couldn't really seriously be here because they love me. That would just be too good to be true. I breathe out heavily and look down at my knees that I pulled up to my chest on the log. God, I hated this. I hate this. I hate this uncertainty, this tension, this unresolved anger, this misery, I hate all of it.

My hands move to my knees and clench at the fabric of my pants. I always knew I wasn't good enough for Edward, I always knew that. But for the whole family to abandon me? It was just too much for me to even comprehend. I knew Rosalie hated me and Jasper probably wished I wasn't there so that I wouldn't test his blood lust control, but for Alice and Emmett to leave me? I really had thought that Alice was my best friend. She seemed to do so much for me. And Emmett, my big brother…The big brother that I always wanted….He just up and left me too for no reason that I could think of except I was too much trouble.

And the worst, the utter worst were Carlisle and Esme. God, I don't think I'll ever get over that. Carlisle and Esme were the parents of the family. They took in vampires with the bodies of adults. I had really hoped that they would see me the same way. Even though I was a worthless, clumsy human. I was wrong, so wrong. They must have felt the same way Edward did, because they left just as easily as he did, without even saying goodbye to me. I guess I should have seen it coming, though. If Edward, my own boyfriend didn't want me, what surprise was there that his mother and father who were more than likely overprotective and doting of him would ever see me as worthy and as loveable as him?

I feel more tears coming and this time I don't stop them. I was just too upset now to care. I never liked admitting that I felt unloved. In truth, I was a lot better off than most people were. I had parents who weren't abusive, I had some friends, including Jacob Black, and Edward had come back so…..Maybe I wasn't so worthless after all. Still, it felt like I had had enough taken from me already. My mother Renee wasn't exactly the most loving parent. She did sometimes try but she always seemed to divert her attention elsewhere. I was secondary to all of her desires.

Still there was also Charlie and he loved me even though he wasn't good at showing it. So, yeah, I was a lot better off than a lot of other people.

I was way better off than some of the wolves like Jacob and Paul, they only had one parent. Embry didn't even know who his father was. And hell, Leah? I don't even want to think about how bad she's got it. Her father dead, the whole pack is annoyed by her and her beloved Sam is now with her cousin.

I feel a smile come over my face. "Yeah, I'm lucky, that's right, ha ha."

Almost as soon as I say that, there are finally, hot tears streaming down my face as my denial builds up.

"I'm lucky," I whisper, the tears still coming, my whole face feeling heated from the fresh tears, "I'm lucky, why am I crying?"

Really, why _was _I crying? There was no need. Even though my mom didn't actually show much love for me, hadn't even held me in her arms that much, and even though Charlie had barely had the chance to hug me, and the vampire family that I truly thought loved me like I came to love them left me and made me crash to pieces, I was lucky. I shouldn't be this upset.

Yeah, I was really lucky, there was literally no reason for me to be this upset.

Within seconds of this denial, I was burying my face in my hands, sobbing into my palms.

I felt the emotional downpour of misery hit me hard all over and I started crying harder until something inside me _snapped_. Snapped hard.

My crying ceased. I felt myself go numb. No, why should I cry? Why should I give Edward and his family the satisfaction? They rejected me, so why should I give them the pleasure of watching me suffer more?

At that thought, I hastily rubbed the moisture from my eyes and forced myself to toughen up within those three seconds. So I was nothing to Edward, Alice, Emmett and Carlisle and Esme? Or maybe to the wolves as well, hell that was anyone's guess.

I squeezed my knees hard against my chest as I gripped one knee in each of my palms angrily. I'd block any and all emotion out that made me feel like this. As I came to that conclusion, my mind rewound to everything in my life that had made me miserable. My biological mother, Renee, I so hoped she'd love me and mother me. Did she? No of course not, she didn't ever hurt me or torment me but she barely gave me the parental attention that I so badly wanted. And I never had much attention from Charlie. By the time Phil came around, I had long since told myself that I didn't need a parent anymore.

Then I met Carlisle and Esme.

I had truly thought when I met such wonderful parents, even though they were vampires that maybe, just maybe I had found my place at last. They were so welcoming, so tender. As time went by, I realized that I didn't just love Edward, I was beginning to love the two of them as my own parents.

It was a shock when I realized my feelings for the two of them. How I had come to adore Carlisle in his kindness and clarity and completely was docile with Esme, even letting my guard down with her and even imagining her as my mother, longing for her to be my mother even.

Lot of good that did me as I found out after my birthday.

I find myself becoming more and more graven. What did I do? As far as I could recall, I did nothing except be inconvenient for the family by being capable of bleeding. Perhaps that was all that was needed to be thrown out of this family. Especially if one was human.

The more I thought of it, the more my tears seem to disappear, and my pain was replaced by anger. Nothing more. No, I wouldn't give Carlisle and Esme the satisfaction of having me suffer even more than I already have. There would be no more tears. Not for _them. _But there was the humor here. They had been able to hurt me by making me fall for their emotions, for their kindness and affection. That was how they had broken me. I came to love them for their affection so when they abandoned me, I was hurt more than anything else. It was their love that had hurt me, not just their departure. Well they wouldn't be able to affect me again.

I wanted to be angry, to hate. I _would _hate those two lovely vampires that I so lovingly came to adore and see as my mother and father.

I found myself calm completely and got up from the log. Well that walk was enlightening. I pushed all those emotions of sadness, frustration, agony, sorrow and loneliness aside and only concentrated on my anger and what the Cullen family had done to me.

I did what I needed to do in order to survive; allowed myself to only feel anger. Now standing, I scowled at where I had come from and raised my hands up and whipped them across my face, getting rid of any lingering moisture in my eyes. Once I was certain there weren't any tears left, I concentrated on getting back home. I was fine. There was nothing that could hurt me now. I was calm as one of these tall, old, unmoving, and ancient trees. The trees were cracked but hadn't fallen. And neither would I. I was calm. Carlisle's kindness wouldn't be able to hurt me anymore, neither would Edward's obsession, or Alice's affection, or Emmett's protectiveness and especially not Esme's love. None of them would hurt me.

I needed to get back home. Edward more than likely was going to come by on his hourly routine of making sure his…heh, "love" or rather, should I say prisoner was back in bed.

I reminded myself moment after moment not to show emotions. Emotions were a weakness. I knew that the reason why Edward was able to control me so easily was because I was so emotional. I had always been at lack for words, so it was easy for him to feel like he was the sensible one. I gritted my teeth as I thought of the rest of the Cullens. My anger towards them remained. All I wanted was to love them and for them to love me in return. And there was my weakness and how they broke my heart. But I would be strong now.

I had been hurt whenever my mother Renee neglected me and when she separated me from my father. Seriously, what was the point of taking me with her to Arizona when all she was going to do was ignore me and tell me what to do? I had been hurt when she had married Phil and once more ignored me, and I had been hurt when the Cullens abandoned me.

I think that that's enough of me allowing myself to get hurt, don't you think?

My thoughts were cut off though when I heard a huge flock of birds dispersing from the tree branches above me. I looked up and saw them flying away desperately. I could see in how they were flying that they were frantic. Though I wasn't sure what was going on at first, given I knew that most birds didn't fly during the night, it was almost always in the daytime that I had witness birds fly, especially in flocks like that.

That thought however, was what made me realize what terrified the birds so badly. Well of course, there was only one creature I knew of that could get such a reaction like that from a large group of animals, even if the animals were all the same species.

A vampire.

There was a vampire coming in my direction. All of nature could smell and detect a predator when it approached, and vampires were the worst kind. Whenever Edward and I walked past someone who had a pet with them like a dog or a cat, the poor animal would immediately let out some type of terrified cry and hid behind their owners. Yes, as far as I could tell a vampire was walking towards me. A mountain lion and bear certainly hadn't elicited that type of reaction from the birds.

I looked back in the direction where I thought the birds came from and watched the path calmly. I guess Edward came back, found me gone, panicked and came looking for his slave.

I watched the thick green grove rustle for only half a second and smirked a little. Guess I shouldn't have been surprised. Vampires were very good at being subtle for when they snuck up on their prey; this should be no different.

To my near shock, though I forced myself to be calm since being shocked was an emotion, it was not Edward that had come looking for me. It was his mother, Esme.

I almost let my eyes widen when I saw her. But luckily I stopped myself in time. I just lifted an eyebrow a bit and let my voice come out as smooth when the female vampire emerged from the shrubbery.

"Esme?" I asked, not really the most clever thing I could say but it was better than nothing, "What are you doing out here? Hunting?"

I had to stop myself from allowing that last word to come out as a sneer. Really, I had to, cause you know, I had long ago stopped seeing myself as immune to the Cullens' predation. Why bother anyway? Better they hunt and kill me than being completely alone again, anyway.

I watched Esme's face carefully, or at least as carefully as I could when I only had the moon and the stars as a source of light. The female vampire's honey gold eyes softened when she looked at me. I could see her concern even in this light, though she was smiling, happy, or at least acting happy that I was here.

"Bella," She said, her voice completely distressed and yet at the same time sounded almost feral, "I was worried about where you were. Why are you out here in the forest on your own, honey?"

I nearly flinched at the word, "honey." Nearly. Such an endearing word, given by such a two faced vampire.

"I just needed some time alone," I started carefully, making sure my voice wasn't emotional at all, "Sorry if I inconvenienced you at all. I seem to be very good at that. Just like after my birthday." I deliberately brought up my last birthday for reasons I couldn't understand. Maybe I hoped to see some regret for my abandonment.

I did. Or at least it was faked. Esme visibly winced and looked like she was about to cry.

"You never are an inconvenience to us, Bella," She whispered, though she said it loud enough so that my dull human ears could hear it, "I just wanted to see you. I needed to talk to you." Her eyes became more determined and I would never have seen the glint in her eyes if it hadn't been for the moonlight, "This was probably the only time I could find you without Edward getting in the way."

I blinked, a little startled at hearing Esme's voice when she spoke Edward's name. Her voice sounded…angry and if possible, disdainful.

I decided to temporarily ignore it, as I spoke again, "How nice of you to want some time with me for yourself. And here I was thinking all this time after my birthday that you all just wanted to get away from me."

This remark, did indeed get a reaction. The hurt in Esme's eyes were almost unbearable. I almost folded upon seeing that look. I never wanted to hurt the woman that I considered the closest thing to my mother, but this had to be said. I knew that she didn't really want me. Why bother acting nice about it?

"We never…..," Esme whimpered, her voice breaking, "We never wanted to leave you. And I won't ever again."

I gritted my teeth under my lips at hearing her cracked voice, but still said quietly, in a vindictive tone, "Right, and just how many girls that Edward has become infatuated with have you said that to just to hurt them when you leave?"

Shock covered Esme's face as she processed what I said and I could see the shock mix with pain. More pain that I ignored.

Esme finally managed to get her composure back together and said shakily, "Edward has never brought any girl before to us. And I've never told a child that I loved them without meaning it."

I wanted to believe that. Oh how I so wanted to believe that. But there was something called survival and I wouldn't be able to survive another emotional assault to me.

Hence my next words, "And yet, actions speak louder than words. You say that you love me, yet your actions of abandoning me tell otherwise."

Esme's mouth parted and her eyes were filled with agony. She literally looked like she was about to cry if she were capable.

"I did love you, Esme," I said quietly, making sure not to allow her to know that I still did, "But it hurts too much to continue to love you. I can't trust you or the rest of the family as I found out. You'll just up and leave again, which seems to be what you guys are best at. I'm surprised you even have as many vampire children as you do, considering how you enjoy abandoning humans close to you."

To be honest, a part of me didn't, couldn't believe what it was I was saying. I couldn't believe that I was being this cruel, to Esme of all people, or….Vampires in this case. I couldn't believe that I was actually speaking to the woman that I truly believed loved me. Then again, I could never imagine speaking to Renee like this and she certainly wasn't the mother that I wanted.

Esme lowered her head a little and for a moment I did falter, realizing that maybe I had gone too far and my heart ached at the sight of Esme like this. My mother figure's broken voice broke the silence again.

"You don't mean that, Bella," She gasped painfully, "You don't mean it. I know we broke your trust, I know _I _broke your trust, and I know that you don't think you can show your real emotions to me. I know that Renee made you feel like you were the grown up and not her, but I won't."

"No?" The words were out of my mouth before I could even think about it, "And I suppose leaving the girl that you see as your daughter is a good strategic mothering technique?"

The next sound I heard actually scared the crap out of me. I heard cry that was a mix between a sob and a roar that reverberated around the forest, making me shake at its powerful emotion. Before I had time to react, Esme, still not looking at me, collapsed to her knees, her shoulders shaking as she cried in the only way vampires could: dry sobbing.

My eyes widened in shock. Was this really all just an act? I took in what I saw and still couldn't believe what I was looking at. A ferocious mythical creature was at my feet, crying, or seeming to cry, and pleading for my forgiveness. No, no, there was no way that this was genuine on Esme's part. I wasn't even loved the way I was supposed to be by my own biological mother, Renee, how could a creature as magnificent as Esme want me as her daughter and be sorry for leaving me? That was just ridiculous.

"Stop it, Esme!" I yelled, when her growls and whimpers became too much for me, desperate to not believe this, "Stop it. I know you're lying. You must be desperate to make me be duped into believing you if you're going to stoop this low."

"I'm not trying to trick you," She whimpered below me, "I'm not. What will make you believe that? I didn't want to leave you. Edward insisted-"

Whatever pain I felt for Esme disappeared and was replaced by the anger that took hold of me again before I could fight it. Edward, again!

"There you go again!" I yelled this time, making Esme snap her head up to look at me with those heartbreaking eyes, "You're blaming Edward for this? God, I swear all of you do the same thing!"

I found myself completely out of control as I sneered in imitation of what I could imagine Alice or Emmett saying, "It's basically like this, 'It was Edward's fault! He _MADE _us go! We didn't have a choice because prince Edward told us we didn't!' and you guys just went along with it!" I stopped in my enraged tirade, having no idea whatsoever where this blast of almost demonic anger came from, but I found myself still snapping vindictively, "You _chose _to leave out of your own free will! All of you did! Emmett did, Rosalie of course wanted to be away from me, Jasper made the decision to leave. Hell, even Carlisle and Alice made the decision willingly to leave. Stop throwing your choice on to other people. That's not something a grown up does. That's something I'd expect of Renee. I guess you and her aren't that different. Making up a child's excuse after all."

I backed away from her slowly so that I wouldn't be affected by those terrible, sorrowful golden eyes as I continued, "Stop making excuses. You left because you didn't want me. Don't blame Edward for what _you _did. And don't apologize or make promises you clearly don't intend to keep. It makes me feel even cheaper than I already feel."

I turned away, intent on running off deeper into the forest, away from all this and away from all my emotions towards this family and Esme, when I heard a very dark growl behind me.

I nearly froze in my steps when I heard it. Um, what?

There was something very disconcerting about that noise. I mean even more unnerving that most noises that vampires make.

I was about to turn back to Esme when I felt an extremely fast rush next to me and the next moment, I was looking up into the savage, misshapen face of a monster. Oh, shit. I pissed a vampire off. Not good. I stared at those now black eyes, unsure what to do.

Looked like I was the one that was going to start begging. I guess because I didn't fall for her lies, Esme was pissed.

"Look, Esme," I started, my voice coming out very calm, hoping that it would make her less beast like, "Just calm down-"

"Oh, I'm calm, Bella," Esme growled in my ear so quietly that it sent a chill up my spine, and that smile, god and yikes, that smile, "I'm very calm." Ah, I see, you're calm. Count me as not convinced, Esme.

"I see," I said cautiously, "Okay, maybe we should head back to the house. You know, I'm sure Edward wouldn't want to find me gone for long." I realized I might of made a mistake in whatever it was I said as I saw Esme's face crinkle even more into a monster's guise as if disgusted by something. She turned to look at the forest, then looked back at me, eyes still completely predatory.

"I suppose you're right," She purred, grinning still, her sharp white teeth glistening in the starlit sky, "I guess he will get upset. Too bad for him." My eyes widened when I heard that. Wait, what? She wasn't going to let Edward finish the job for the family? She didn't want him to either scorn me again or kill me? She was going to do it herself? Out here?

Oh crap! Out here….There was no one to see or hear me….Oh shit….

Esme was going to kill me. I felt despair and fear all at once hit me and rip my heart in two again. Esme never loved me. Now she was going to indulge in my death and drain my oh so delicious blood.

I couldn't stop myself, I started shaking in fear, realizing that my end was coming.

I squeezed my eyes shut and waited for it to come. I thought about whispering that I loved someone, but who was there to tell? I loved Esme and she clearly didn't love me. I loved the rest of the Cullen family and they didn't love me either. What was the use?

I felt another rush next to me and I felt Esme's cold breath by my ear.

I readied myself until I heard her next words, "Why are you frightened, Bella?" There was amusement in purring tone, "Do you think that I'm going to feed on you? Is that why?" Her voice almost became a disturbing chuckle, "You know I think I'm offended. I'll admit that I didn't really earn my trust when it comes to staying by your side, but I thought you'd trust me enough not to believe that I'd murder you."

I finally managed to open my eyes to look at the vampire's distorted, frightening face, her teeth bared and eyes still black, and I actually got out of my mouth while staring at the scary sight, "Well then, what the hell are you doing? You really look like you're going to feed on me."

I got the reaction I expected, which was her mouth turned in yet another amused expression, however, she growled in a very calm tone, "I wonder, what is it that keeps you so unable to be intimate with others? Why do you keep Carlisle and me away so much? Is it because of Renee and her so called "upbringing" of you?"

I blinked a little when I heard this. Well, that was unexpected. So instead of being hunted by her, I was getting a bizarre and disturbing therapy session?

"Hey!" I snapped, my anger returning, which was the only protection I had against my fear, "Renee isn't much of a mom, that's true, but I already knew that. I kept you and Carlisle away because I was afraid that the two of you would hurt me like all the times Renee hurt me and it looks like I was right! You guys did abandon me after all."

Esme backed away a little. An action that startled me considering how ready she appeared to kill me. She looked surprised, but the pain appeared to return to her face, though her eyes were still black.

It felt like an eternity after that. She didn't say another word for a good long while and neither did I. She just kept her pitch dark eyes on me the whole time.

Finally, she spoke again.

"You're right of course," She growled sadly, surprising me again, "You're right. The things that happened are my fault just as much as they are Edward's. I made the choice to leave you as well as he did. All of us are to blame for willingly leaving." She then lifted her head a little and smiled an oddly touching smile despite how monstrous she still looked, "But Bella," She continued, "That doesn't mean that I can't be given another chance. People, even vampires do change. And I assure you, I have changed as well. Edward no longer has any influence over me. He never should have in the beginning either. I admit to that now."

I stared, unable to think for a moment. I knew vampires could have mood swings when it came to their emotions but this was getting ridiculous. Esme appeared all five blood thirsty literally, slightly enraged, guilty and apologetic and also sorrowful, and yet still loving at the same damn time if that were possible.

Finally finding my voice, I said, "Just what are you trying to say here, Esme? What's this all about? Why did you really come looking for me in this forest?"

She stared at me. Those coal colored eyes never changing as they were fixated on me. I would have let out a shiver of fear if I wasn't so confused and frustrated with what the hell was going on.

"Esme," I started questioning again, "Are you here to kill me? Did Edward send you to bring me back to him so that I can be his doormat again?"

On those last words, I heard a deadly hiss that this time did indeed make me shake. Okay, I did not like that sound at all.

"No." Was the quiet growl that came from Esme, still watching my every move, "I will never allow him to make you into a doormat, Bella, never. Then again, it looks like you don't need my help with protecting yourself against him," To clarify what she meant, she smirked as she asked, "Where did this kind of anger come from?"

I was again taken aback but she did have a point. I was sort of dumbfounded myself as to what my deal was tonight, but I added, lifting my eyebrows suspiciously, "I might ask you the same question, Esme. Your moods seem to be running around all over the place."

Breathing in, Esme took a step towards me and my first instinct, seeing as right now I had at least some self-preservation was to step back, but I held my ground. Whatever was going to happen, I would not allow myself to become afraid of her.

"I came out here," Esme growled again, "To plead for your forgiveness for what we did. And I want you to join our family. I want you as a daughter, Bella."

I think my eyes bulged out of their sockets for a moment after I processed what exactly she had said. Was she being serious? Was this part of the act? Was there more to this than met the eye as the old cheesy line said? So wait a minute, after all the crap this family had put me through, Esme was now pleading for me to be with them? Was there a word for this? I think I already classified this situation as ridiculous, but there had to be another word for it, there just had to be.

Once I think the fifth or sixth wave of shock that hit me tonight past, I snapped, desperate for an explanation that had some logic here, "Wait a second. Am I hearing you right? Esme, you guys left me, remember? Last time I checked, vampires had perfect memories, so obviously you remember pretty well. I thought you guys leaving me was a sign that I was, oh I don't know…NOT wanted by this family." I ended that note, not so intentionally with an extremely pissed off tone in my aggravation.

I saw Esme flinch but again forced myself to be unfeeling about it.

She lowered her head again as she growled, though that sound that usually was supposed to be threatening was interfered with by the pleading in her voice, "I am so sorry you've suffered, Bella. But please, just come back to me, I want you as a daughter-"

"Come back to you?" I asked, my voice cut her off, and I was speaking in a confused, albeit still slightly angry voice, "Esme, do you have _any idea _how many months I mentally pleaded to myself that you guys would come back to _me?_ You have no right to ask me to "come back to you," you were the ones that made me feel unwanted." I took a breath, still not understanding where this confidence came from. I knew trauma often left people bitter but even I couldn't believe what was coming out of me, "Maybe I am unworthy of your family, but you still were the ones that left me and made me feel like I don't matter. Made me feel like Renee always made me feel."

At that final end of my angry rant, I realized what the last thing it was that I said and I could only watch the damage that I had just committed. I had compared her to Renee twice in one night. Was that bad? Or was this such a good act on Esme's part that she was going to pretend that she was hurt?

The black eyes closed at she growled without moving, "You're still comparing me to Renee. What we did was unforgiveable. But what Renee did was for years and what I'm pleading with you now is to be with us for centuries. Carlisle and I will treat you the way you deserve to be treated for centuries. Isn't that a good offer?"

And now I was back to being confused. Wait a minute. Esme was offering….Acting like she was offering me eternity?

Esme was telling me that she wanted to turn me into a vampire? Something I had begged Edward of for almost two years now and he had never consented until trying to force me into a marriage. Was this really a trick? It had to be. Unless Edward put her up to this, Esme really had a sick sense of humor.

"Wait, what?" In spite of all my witty and intelligent comebacks this evening, _that _was the best response to come up with after hearing that.

Esme opened her eyes and though I couldn't tell very well since it was still night, her black eyes appeared to be clearing up and become more gold. Well that was a relief.

She looked at me closely as she repeated, "I said that Carlisle and I will treat you the way you deserve to be treated for centuries. Do I need to explain what that means?"

At the anger in her tone, I wasn't sure if she thought I had refused a generous offer or was getting annoyed and losing patience.

Finally, whatever wits I had returned to me and I spoke again, "You're offering to make me into a vampire." I said, basically stating the obvious, "What _will _your precious Edward think of that?"

Esme seemed to now be completely composed and under control. Even my reference to Edward didn't appear to have ruffled her feathers.

"Edward has nothing to do with this offer, Bella," She said, eyes still focused on me and her words startled me again, "I'm offering this to you. He has no right to try to stop my offer. My choices are my own," She then shifted her eyes so that they were more focused on me as she added, as if reading my mind when Edward couldn't, "And yes, Bella, I actually am capable of making my own choices outside of what Edward tells us what to do. This is my choice and mine alone, not his."

I don't think I had any words to describe my shock. I was seriously losing my resolved conclusion that this was a trick. If it was a trick, it was a damn good convincing one.

Before I could even think of something to say, Esme suddenly snapped her head to the right and sniffed, her face then changing again into an angered snarl. I was alarmed for a second but I managed to speak quietly out of sheer curiosity.

"Esme?" I questioned, seriously wondering again what was with the mood swings.

She turned back to me, seeming now really annoyed, "He's always getting in the way." Her voice became grim as she growled a little, "I can smell dear Edward approaching," Her voice sounded very strangely angry at the 'dear Edward' part, "He obviously didn't find you in your room and has come looking for you."

My eyes widened. Oh great, now Edward was here to mess with my head? Just god damn great. "Wonderful." I grumbled dryly.

"Careful," Esme said quietly, glancing to me, "He's almost within hearing range."

I blinked and stared at her. She seemed genuinely determined to keep from Edward that she had offered to change me. Or, was still planning to change me and was not going to let him know any time soon.

I also knew not to make any vulgar remarks towards him if he was indeed within hearing distance. I knew how good a vampire's hearing abilities were. Edward and Alice had both explained it to us. My guess was that Edward had just noticed I was gone and had raced into the forest looking. Now that he was probably seventeen or nineteen miles away, he was now in hearing range and could hear us perfectly as opposed to _seven seconds _ago when he couldn't hear us those twenty-seven or thirty miles away.

"Right." I said to no one I guess. Waiting for however many seconds or possibly minutes it would take for him to speed over to us.

I remained quiet, as did Esme, however we both kept our eyes locked with each other. I couldn't even come close to deciphering what that vampire woman was thinking, but I had a feeling that when I found out, my emotions might actually resurface, whether I liked it or not.

And what about before when Esme had been growling and all "vamping out" or whatever you wanted to call it? It was pretty scary. Even when Jasper had made a lunge at me on my birthday after I cut my finger, I hadn't seen any vampire's expression that was as terrifying as that. Hell, even James the tracker hadn't scared me in those moments as much as Esme did just now.

And what about how amused she had been and the way she looked at me as if…..Claiming me…Was that right? Or was I just delusional?

My uneasiness increased a lot when I saw Esme smirk at me in the moonlight.

What the hell was going on with this vampire woman?

My thoughts were distracted when a figure leaped out of the bushes so quickly that it was just a white flash. Ah, Edward had found us.

The obsessive vampire came to a halt in front of the both of us, his face stricken in all his serious glory, his golden eyes darting from Esme to me.

"Bella," He whispered, his velvet sounding voice giving me the creeps for the umpteenth time, "What are you doing out here? You'll get a cold. And the rest of the family is hunting, you shouldn't be out here. They might attack you! We're-"

"Yes, Edward," I snapped, my annoyed mood still giving me strength enough to talk back, "You guys are dangerous and I shouldn't go anywhere outside at all unless I want to be killed by the big bad vampires. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom."

Edward's expression became startled and to be frank I couldn't blame him. How could he expect those bold and angry words from me? The same words that I had been hurling at Esme all night.

Edward then turned and faced Esme angrily, "What did you say to her, Esme? Why is she so upset? Why is she even out here to begin with? Shouldn't you have taken her back home?"

"Shouldn't you be asking her what's wrong, Edward?" Esme asked, tilting her head back, amusement clearer now than before even, "I'm quite positive that she can answer for herself. Trust me, I know."

I glanced suspiciously at her. What the hell was wrong with her? My question became even bigger when I saw Edward's eyes widened as he looked at her. What was Esme thinking that made Edward so shocked? Did he see what Esme had offered me?

"Bella," Edward said, clearly shaken as he turned back to me, "I think it would be best if you came back with me to the house. You obviously need some time to calm down and clear your head. Otherwise you wouldn't be saying these things."

I desperately tried not to roll my eyes at his ignorant assumption. Of course, I was just a sweet angel that had no will of my own and otherwise wouldn't be saying such ridiculous things unless I was misled. Of course. Silly me.

I stared at Esme for a moment and she stared back, after a moment I said quietly, "Yeah, okay, Edward, let's get back home. Charlie might notice I'm gone after all." I walked over next to Edward, between him and Esme, glancing nervously at the female vampire's eyes again before turning back towards the path back home.

I knew that Edward wouldn't stay behind to snap at Esme again; Edward was too possessive of me to leave my side for even a moment so he'd be following me in less than a second. I was right of course; I felt a rush of air and saw his dark blue shirt next to me out of the corner of my left eye.

Everything seemed almost so tedious continually as we walked. Edward was just going on and on about how I was taking too much of a risk of getting out of the house and going off into the forest while his family was out hunting and possibly endangering myself and how he knew he never should have left my side. Boy, he just loved to talk and make himself assured, didn't he?

Luckily, my mind was caught up with thoughts of my encounter with Esme so I drowned out his voice only moments after he had opened his mouth.

I stared at the ferns and mossy trees as I walked, oddly never tripping once as my mind still focused on the mother figure of the Cullen family.

My mind went through all the scenarios in my head of what would have happened had Edward not come in when he did. Would Esme really have changed me? With me being willing or against my will? Or would she have killed me? Then there was still that question of whether or not she really loved me as a daughter. Wasn't I just a toy for this family to play with until they got tired and threw me away?

I had always gathered after the Cullens return to my life that they just came back to play more with my head than anything else. There was no doubt in my mind that I loved Esme and the rest of the Cullens, even Edward despite how infuriating he was and there was no doubt either that I wanted to become a vampire with the rest of them, but I just found myself unable to trust Esme.

Didn't she just love her vampire children? I was human, so I should mean nothing to her just like all humans should. Of course, the whole noble vampire thing of not feeding off humans but of animals was always a testament to their kindness in comparison to the rest of the vampire world. However, I still had a feeling I was just a toy. They weren't willing to kill humans, but they weren't willing to get their hands dirty to protect their secret either. Or they just liked screwing with my head.

Either way, they were starting to piss me off, all feelings and sentiments aside.

Finally, Edward and I arrived at my house and I was immediately hoisted off the ground onto Edward's back and we were flying towards my window. Once inside, the temperature of the room, not to mention being removed from Edward's stone cold body was a relief. Edward almost forcing me into bed and throwing the covers on me however, was not.

"Whatever Esme said to you," Edward said, getting on the bed, sitting next to me, "Forget it. She's been acting strange ever since Volterra."

"Right." I said quietly, snuggling into my pillow and wishing that he wasn't there.

"I love you, Bella." His voice was forceful as if he needed me to understand that lie.

"You too." I lied easily as I closed myself and started counting vampire sheep, Esme's supposed offer still fresh in my mind.

**Author's Note:  
>Okay, sorry if there was major OOC on both Esme and Bella's parts. It's hard for me to keep characters "In Character."<strong>

**This will not be the last chapter though. Again, sorry for the major OOC, and thank you for hanging in there.**


	4. Esme Vengeful

**All the stars in the Night Sky: Chapter 3: Vengeful **

**Esme's POV:**

After forcing Bella back home, I had gone back to our house, knowing that Edward would eventually find me there and berate me for "endangering his Bella." Well if he wanted to challenge me, that was his foolish mistake. I had made my decision long ago, as soon as I realized that my daughter was alive in Volterra. Bella would be our daughter for all of eternity. Edward would have no say in this, only me and Bella.

Edward's arrogance; as if he knew what was best for my daughter was infuriating. Yes, my daughter, I had already claimed her as mine. Edward was going to have to live with that. He pretended that he knew what everyone should do, as if he had higher authority in our family than he did.

That was where Carlisle and I had gone wrong, I suspect. We had never really treated them like adults and given them responsibilities as adults. And finally according to the stories I heard from Carlisle, when Edward had come crawling back to him after his vigilante years, Carlisle had spoiled him like the "prodigal son." It infuriated me so that I'd have to speak to my dear husband about his spoiling of that boy.

I restrained a growl and almost crushed the steering wheel of my dear Carlisle's poor car. Bear in mind, this wasn't the first time that I've acted like this. Carlisle and the rest of the family have unfortunately seen my moods similar to this at other times. Usually towards controlling men throughout history. Almost all of our family members have had at least one accident concerning humans, but me…..I'm not even sure some of my kills were actually accidents. I might have been no different from Edward at one time in terms of vigilante killings. And all four Carlisle, Edward, Rosalie and Emmett had witnessed some….Disturbing incidents on my part.

I drove on the road fast. All of us were extremely reckless with our driving, even me. It was probably the only thing about us that our little Bella feared. When I thought about it now, concerning Bella's fear, she seemed quite brave in the forest when I had lost control like that. I sighed to myself as I closed in on our house. That was one thing that I'll admit I'm ashamed of doing tonight. That and only that. I had snarled and roared and looked at her with primal black eyes, more than likely terrifying her. I had never wanted to scare her, but being compared to….To her….To Renee of all people, well I just really couldn't control my onslaught of emotions.

I parked the car, noticing that there were sounds of a car coming behind me. It was a few yards away though. But it was definitely coming here to our home. I recognized the sound of the wheels and engine too. It was Edward's Volvo. I smirked as I got out of the car, grabbing the keys. This confrontation was going to take place sooner than I had expected.

Still, I had worries about how I had reacted in front of Bella. I had quite clearly frightened her, however, I was happy to see that she hadn't tried getting away. Well, she did know that vampires were far faster than humans and that there was no way a human could get away from our kind so she probably realized that her running away would have made no difference. But I suspected, or maybe hoped that the real reason for not trying to escape me was because she loved me more than she feared me.

I closed the door when I heard Edward getting closer. Given our whole family disregards any and all speed violations so long as there wasn't anyone watching, Edward would more than likely get here faster than usual. Especially considering how disturbed he was when I let him read my thoughts. I smirk in amusement as I walk up inside the house. Yes, Edward would have to deal with some grim realities tonight. Once inside, I was met with all of my family's eyes on me.

Alice and Jasper were sitting on the couch watching me. Jasper looked resigned, but also….sad for some reason. I'd have to speak with him at some point to comfort him, but not in the state I was in now. Alice however, was smirking. I narrowed my eyes at that. What was this little pixie of my daughter not telling me? I looked to the rest of my family and saw that Emmett was smiling happily and Rose was looking in a way that I couldn't decipher and Carlisle just looked completely worried.

My curiosity got the better of me and I asked almost immediately what was going on. "Alice, love?" I asked gently, "Did you tell the rest of the family what I was planning to do?" Alice smirked a little and nodded to Carlisle, "Ask him."

My eyes went to Carlisle's bright yellow ones. They always seemed to be much paler than the rest of our family's for some reason. His expression became serious as he took a breath. Clearly he was unsure of how to handle this. He then looked at me in the eye and spoke calmly and clearly with no worry or hesitation any longer, "My love, I think we need to talk about this. I love Bella like a daughter just as much as you do, but Edward has a right to take a vote in this."

My anger started surfacing once again, "A vote?" I demanded before I could stop myself, "Carlisle, you know he'll vote no any time he's asked. Why will he do this? Because he wants to control her. You know that! Carlisle Bella has the right to be happy with parents that love her for eternity, not the caged life that Edward will give her where he's controlling her till she dies. And to be honest, I don't care if the rest of you tell me that you will not allow her to be changed, I'm going to change her myself."

My strict words and the look in my eyes obviously startled everyone in the room. Well, maybe not Alice and Jasper, though they were a little startled but not nearly as shocked as Rosalie and Carlisle appeared. Emmett actually seemed to find this amusing, judging by his expression. Finally, after the most unnerving silence in the history of our family passed, Rosalie took this time to speak.

"Esme," She hissed, "Look, we all know you love her; we'd never give any doubt about it. But she has a right to decide. And she'll be making the wrong choice if she chooses to be a monster like us. Don't tempt her. She's already gotten in deep enough by being involved with Edward."

I narrowed my eyes again for another time that night. "Is it for the same reason you were so willing to kill Bella when she first found out that we were vampires?" I sneered, my voice merciless in my accusation. I saw the effects of me being vindictive of her immediately. She growled, but also flinched. I knew that a part of her still felt guilty for the petty jealousy that she had bore towards Bella when she found out that Edward was interested in the human instead of her.

"Don't act superior," I continued, uncaring of her guilt, which to be honest she completely deserved to feel, "I've put up with your problems and insecurities just as all of you have put up with mine. But I will not allow you to make Bella's choice for her any more than I will allow Edward to." I finished that sentence when I heard Edward's car come to a halt in the driveway. Well, speaking of the devil….Err, vampire I mean.

Within only two seconds, the door of the car opened and closed, and we heard him quickly run up into the house faster than lightening and the next second was spent zooming up the stairs till he was smack right in front of me, golden eyes accusing as well as Rosalie's had been a few moments ago.

"Esme," He growled, eyes blazing as he breathed in and out, trying to restrain his monstrous rage."

I however, was not impressed. He might have been changed before I had, but not that long before me. Not to mention, no matter how strong he thought he was compared to me, he did not even want to imagine what I could do to him in my rage at this moment.

"Yes, Edward?" I asked calmly, not allowing myself to be caring at all to his petty whining of not getting his way all the time.

"Whoa, easy, Eddie," Emmett said in an amused but also cautionary tone, "I know you get pissed when Bella's in even the slightest bit of danger, but Esme wouldn't hurt her, you know that. Besides, I don't think it would be a good idea to mess with mom right now."

Though Emmett could be rude in his comments, I couldn't agree with my second son more right now.

"Silence, Emmett!" Edward spat, glancing only for a moment at the larger vampire before glaring at me again, "This is none of your business. Esme, what were you thinking? Bella's still not feeling well after the incident in Volterra; she's still shaken up. And it was even worse when you," He halted his speech and if possible, he glared at me harder as he snarled, "I saw what you were thinking, Esme! I saw! How could you? You know that Bella will lose her soul if she becomes one of us. How can you betray me like this?"

My eyes suddenly became slits. Bella's words echoed in my head. Yes, Edward thought it was all about him. Always. And Bella was right. We always let him think it was about him as well. We never deterred him from thinking otherwise.

"This may come as a shock to you, young man," I said, never having recalled my voice ever sounding stricter with my oldest child, "But not every action I take or thought I have revolve around you and your self-loathing." I paused for a moment, deciding to be as calm as possible (I didn't want Jasper to feel upset at my hectic emotions after all) "Whatever feelings you have towards Bella, they're your own. Bella is capable of her own decisions. Allow her to make them if you don't mind. If you don't let her make her own choices and force her to do otherwise, well…..," I allowed my voice to trail off but I allowed my thoughts deliberately to travel to Charles, that pig of a husband of mine and then put the thought of Edward next to him.

Only because I had never believed Edward to be anything like Charles had I lacked even the tiniest of terrible thoughts of comparing my son to my abuser, but now that I saw Edward for what he was, it seemed unavoidable. I got exactly the reaction I expected. Edward's gold eyes went wide and feral and he let out a snarl of rage and disbelief. I noticed Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Carlisle getting ready to pounce and restrain my son if he attacked me. I myself readied my muscles in case Edward was looking for a physical conflict.

Instead, Edward launched self-righteous remarks of defense, if it could be called that, "How can you compare me to that….That….How could you, mother?" A few years ago…..Well, who am I kidding, a few weeks ago, I would have felt terrible at hearing him say that. I would have felt endless guilt. But not anymore. I had long since lost any sympathy for him in his self-important, religious, heinous beliefs. I knew also why he called me "mother" now instead of calling me by my name like had a few seconds ago. It was because of his rage towards me that he wanted me to feel like I was at fault, hence using a title of endearment. That trick wouldn't work either.

"How can I?" I asked in a bored tone, "It's quite easy for me to do so, son. I can because it's true. Aside from actual physical abuse, how different are your methods of controlling Bella from how Charles used to control me?" There, I had said it. I had said it out loud for all the family to hear. Now, not only did Edward know it from reading my mind, but the rest of the family heard it as loud as a vampire's roar.

I wasn't an empath like Jasper, but I could almost _feel _the thick, cold, uncomfortable tension in the room. Carlisle, Rosalie and Emmett held completely still. Emmett and Rosalie I'm more than sure felt shock but also agreement. Carlisle I suspect was just in pure denial. He didn't want to believe that his most beloved child was what I claimed him to be. Then again, I couldn't really be too hard on my husband. I had a part in making Edward the self-absorbed, abusive and worthless vampire he was today after all. I, like Carlisle, had made him feel special and had praised him endlessly for a century. If that wouldn't make someone narcissistic and absorbed with one's self, I don't know what would.

Jasper and Alice remained still. Well, Alice did anyway. She had her hand on Jasper's arm, whispering for him to calm down as he was shaking from the onslaught of emotions from all of us. I imagine that Alice was able to remain so calm because she had seen this coming.

Edward on the other hand was literally trembling in his chaotic anger, finally unable to contain it anymore. Finally, he strangely lifted his eyebrow at Alice, prompting me to look at my small daughter. Alice had her gold eyes fixed on Edward and I realized at that moment that she was sending him thoughts or mental images. Of what, I of course did not know.

No longer fixating his anger at me, he let out one last roar and lunged fast past me, venomous fangs bared as he went at Alice who was now smirking again. Luckily, I had suspected this would happen and snapped my arm up faster before he had moved, grabbing him by the throat with my right hand. I saw Edward's startled eyes meet my own, which were now pitiless and so concentrated that I might have burnt two holes in his head with my eyes as I launched my feet off the floor and slammed his body against the wall smashing some of the wood, my hand still locked around his throat.

I lifted my arm a little, pulling him off of his feet in a slow, but dangerous motion. "Edward," I growled, still holding him in a tight grip, eyes staring into his own shocked ones, "I will not tolerate your rude and thoughtless behavior any longer, boy. Not towards me, your sister, Bella or anyone else for that matter. I will not allow you to dominate Bella's life any longer." I pulled his head back from the wall, using my hand, then slammed his head back into the wall so hard that I heard the wall crack a little, "Bella will be my daughter whether you like it or not. You will not have any say in either my wishes or Bella's decisions. Bella will become a vampire by my hand and of her own free will. You will not have any choice in the matter. There will be no more controlling actions on your part." I finished my cold, hard and domineering sentence by pulling Edward from the wall once more and this time throwing him across the room for him to land at Carlisle's feet with a loud "thud" and the whole house shook upon his impact to the floor.

"Esme!" Rosalie cried. I ignored her. I wouldn't tolerate anyone's complaint in order to stop me, not Rosalie's, not Edward's, not anyone's any longer.

"Quiet, Rosalie," I said simply, an uncaring tone in my voice, "Be quiet." I observed Edward's weak form along the ground and then looked up to lock eyes with my shocked husband, full of despair, "Carlisle, I _will _speak with Bella tomorrow at her school. I need to hear what her answer is. I'm trusting you not to allow Edward to get in my way. Bella's choice is her choice, simple as that. I will put my trust in you to make sure that I can speak with her alone without Edward's ignorant influence." I took a breath, which was odd, since I didn't need to even breathe, "I know that you believe that Edward will change, but he won't. He hasn't changed in one hundred years and I doubt he'll change now." I turned from both of the self-righteous and disbelieving male vampires and added, "If I find either one of you trying to stop me, I'll bite you. I'll leave permanent scars from my venom so that you'll remember them forever!"

I heard several gasps behind me. The gasps were so quiet that no human would be able to hear, but I could hear them just fine. I growled a little over my shoulder without looking at any of my family members, "I'm going out hunting." I added in a sneering tone, grinning in triumph at my son, "Don't worry, Edward, I'm not planning on going to your precious possession. I've already planted seeds of suggestion in her head. She doesn't need any more influence from me tonight. I'm just going to feed. None of you will come after me." I wasn't requesting that last part. It was an order.

And there was one last thing that I needed to understand before I went. I glared at Alice, "You are coming with me, young lady." I said as calmly as I could to Alice, "I want some explaining about what that was all about just now and why Edward wanted to attack you."

Alice got up, nodding. She placed her hand almost understandingly on Jasper's arm and then walked past the rest of her family, sending one last smug look at Edward who was staring hatefully at her.

Just when I was about to lead Alice into the forest to get her to tell me what was going on, Edward decided to let the family know himself. Tactless as always.

"She'll never be yours, Alice." Edward sneered.

Alice paused for a moment, whereas the rest of us froze. Alice kept moving towards me though.

"Alice?" I asked, stunned as I looked down at her. And here I was thinking that I was the only one with big secrets to spill around this house.

"Yes, mother?" Alice asked, smiling gently, "Don't you want to speak in the woods after we feed?"

I just stared for a while. This was completely out of my zone of awareness. Was I really so not tuned in to my children, that I didn't just abandon Bella, but didn't notice what feelings one of my other children had for her as well? Had I really been so unaware this whole time that Alice was in love with Bella, or was I interpreting this all wrong?

"Yes, Alice," I finally managed out, "We will talk in the woods. Follow me."

I rushed down the stairs and through the doorway into the woods with Alice speedily running behind me. The two of us being a couple of white flashes in the night, faster than the eye could see. We were going to hunt three deer or four. Maybe a couple of bears like Emmett usually did. I needed something to vent my rage out before I spoke to Alice.

Then Alice and I needed to discuss what exactly was going on here.

**Back at Bella's House:**

**Bella's POV:**

I had pretended to be sleeping when Edward had left out the window. I guess he wanted a word or two with Esme after what happened in the woods. Though now that I didn't have him constantly looking at me, I could actually open my eyes and stare at the ceiling and let my mind wander.

Now that I thought about it, what actually _happened _in the woods tonight? Sure, I had heard plenty of what Esme had said tonight. But I just didn't understand it. Had she been serious? Or was this just another game that vampires played. I mean for god's sake, vampires had forever to come up with manipulative plans and hurt humans emotionally as well as physically. It would be only natural that this was yet another way of tricking a human into believing that they cared about me and hurting me in the worst way possible.

I wanted to believe it, certainly, but wasn't that the point of a vampire's trickery?

I had no doubt in my mind whatsoever that I loved Esme like any daughter would her mother, but how could I be absolutely sure that Esme loved me? Hell, did any of the Cullens? Edward sure found it easy to turn his back on me in a flash a year ago after my birthday. Alice had come back but only after she had seen me jump off that cliff. Hell, Rosalie and Jasper were probably both happy that I was gone. I was only there for Emmett's entertainment and Carlisle, well, he just was happy that Edward may or may not have found a mate. But apart from that, I didn't expect much. No, they didn't want me. Not at all. Esme more than likely was no different from the rest of the family.

I turned my head to stare at my wall then. Yeah, my activities were very eventful tonight. How boring. I suspected that it was time to start having hobbies outside of Edward and the rest of the Cullens. After all, it was only a matter of time before they left me again. That seemed to be what they were best at.

Might as well resign myself to that fact, but rebound from it by keeping myself busy after they did the damage to me.

Maybe more reading or running a bit. Sure, I was horrible at sports and had terrible coordination skills, if any, but just flat out running on smooth surfaces, I was a little better at, and besides, I knew how much them leaving had hurt me; that emptiness that had formed. Any and all bruises and cuts that I would sustain would be worth relieving myself of the agony during the running. Maybe some hiking and video games as well.

I closed my eyes, waiting for sleep to take me. I couldn't think about this. Not now. Not after all that conflict in the woods. I needed to sleep and get my mind clear before I saw Edward and his family at the school tomorrow. Nothing like being more sleepy than you already are and having a bunch of manipulating know it all vampires making things even worse for you.

I tried not to think at all about Esme's pain as she knelt on her knees before me, pleading for my forgiveness and love. I squeezed my eyes shut even harder. I couldn't bear to think of it like that. Esme's pain was too much. The sounds she made as she snarled…..It was just too much. The sounds of a wounded creature was awful and the sounds a vampire made were specifically made just to entice sympathy from their prey.

It was true, I was a sucker for the noises that vampires made. I loved how they purred and growled. I loved some of the noises they made and would bend more than easily to their distressed noises. And seeing Esme like that tonight and hearing those noises had been far from easy. In fact it was just plain disturbing to hear and watch.

I turned more in my bed, still pondering over it. Esme wasn't that old for a vampire, but still she was old in comparison to me. Whatever noises they made, they were usually more in control of their emotional responses. Still, I had to remember that no matter what they did to me in the past, the Cullen family was not exactly the usual coven of vampires.

But I subdued those thoughts. I needed my rest. Slowly I somehow got my emotions under control and drifted off.

**Author's Note: **

**Yes, as you see what I've suggested with that Alice bit, there's going to be some femslash, so those that don't like it, don't read the next chapter. **


	5. Bella Conflict

**All The Stars In The Night Sky:**

**Chapter 4: Esme's story**

**Bella's POV:**

I woke up the next morning, feeling groggier than ever. God I felt like someone had injected me with a tranquilizer designed for a freaking horse. I shook my head, trying to get more aware of my surroundings. I almost slammed my feet against the wooden floor, uncaringly. I felt exhausted. I turned to the alarm clock to check the time. Ah crap; I had to hurry unless I wanted to be late to school.

Within less than a second between slipping on my own floor and grabbing at my clothes, I was all dressed and ready to take off. I grabbed my backpack and bolted down the stairs, yelling to my father a goodbye, and going out the door.

And of course, lo and behold, who was standing there all smug and arrogant, leaning against his Volvo?

Edward God damn Cullen. God, I was really getting tired of him.

Still, I restrained any previous feelings of disgust I had possessed earlier and said calmly, "Hello, Edward." He smiled "lovingly" at me. He could use every endearing word for me in the dictionary and it wouldn't faze me. Not anymore. Too bad for him, really. To be honest, he was really starting to bore me. I didn't know how much longer I could deal with him.

"What's up, Edward?" I asked at last, trying not to make my distaste for him that obvious.

"I was hoping that I'd have the pleasure of driving you to school." Edward said, smiling all charmingly. Ah, yes, he couldn't spend a moment of my waking days without trying to constantly be with me and try to smother me with his "affections." Lovely.

"No thanks Edward," Making sure that I remained polite, "I'm fine just driving myself to school. Remember, I do have my own truck." Before I could stop myself, I added coolly, "That is, assuming you guys didn't take the engine out again? Huh?" My voice ended with a much colder tone and I saw the startled look on Edward's perfect face.

Hmm, it seemed like I was becoming very talented at making vampires blanch. I wondered if the Volturi would pay me for that, given they liked putting vampires in their place.

"I need to go," I snapped over my shoulder when I turned away from him, "I'll be late for school. And as I said, I can use my own truck."

"Bella," I heard him protest, but I raced to the truck's front door stubbornly.

"I'm going to drive there myself!" I snapped again, uncaringly of his interference, jumping in and starting up the engine. I backed it up after it started and got onto the road, ignoring the staring I was getting from my dear stalker as I drove off to school. I had a feeling that there would be no surprise whatsoever for me when Edward came racing after me with that silver Volvo of his.

**Half an hour later:**

I was now encroaching on the school. Oddly, every time I looked into my rearview mirror, I did not see Edward behind my truck. Weird. I vaguely wondered if Esme really _had _scared him off so as not to constantly have him nag me. I got to the school parking lot, parking immediately. I stepped out, sending dangerous glares to anyone who wanted to snicker at my truck. All of the kids backed away a little when they saw my eyes. I was scaring them. Good.

I really didn't know what my deal was this week, but hell, if it got results, that was well and good with me. I rammed the door shut and stomped to the school, uncaring of any glances I was getting. I got to class forcing a smile on my face as I encountered Jessica, Eric, Mike and Angela. I could at least act friendly around them.

"Hey, Bella," Mike said overjoyed. Oh, great, the sweet golden retriever whining again. Yeah, I was really becoming a bitch. I was starting to wonder if Lauren could even compare to me by this point.

Where the hell was that envious, shallow woman anyway?

"Hi Bel-la," I sneering voice said behind me. Ah, that answered my question, didn't it?

"Hello, Lauren," I answered as calmly as possible, since I _really _didn't want to get into any confrontations today. Seriously. "How are things going?" I asked politely, looking at her, smiling kindly.

"Well judging by the fact that you don't have lover boy with you," Lauren said, giving a poisonous smile, "I'd say that things for me are going a lot better than they are for you." I really had to stop a laugh from coming out. Oh god, Lauren was using _Edward_ of all people against me? That was completely hilarious. Edward was literally the last person one would want to use against me, given how I felt almost nothing for him now.

"That's fascinating," I said dryly, "However, I don't particularly care for Edward anymore."

That, naturally caught Lauren off guard. Her eyes widened and her head was held back and she just stared at me like I was another species. I heard some mumbling behind me. Obviously, the shock wasn't lost on Mike and the others either.

"I'm really, _really_ not interested in a fight today, Lauren," I growled dryly, deciding to discard all the manners out the school window, "I am not interested in Edward anymore. You can have him. This is not a trick. You can have him, Lauren." I looked to Jessica, "Or you can, Jessica, I really couldn't care anymore."

I then turned my heel and went for the biology classroom.

After I seated myself in the middle of the classroom, I saw Emmett come through the door to join me. Lauren and Jessica had already departed so they weren't there to bug him and try to get his attentions to demand answers about Edward and my relationship, or lack thereof. However, Mike had the same class as us, so of course, I now had two relentless stalkers at my back.

Emmett sat next to me, trying constantly to joke and lighten my mood, and Mike sat behind us to our right, also staring hopefully. Ugh, this was gonna be a _long _class today.

The next few hours passed by like torture. Emmett was trying to whisper to me pleadingly for my attention and I actually growled at him at some point to leave me alone, startling him again today.

When the class was finally over I moved way from Emmett and went past him, out the door, ignoring Mike's call for me. Unfortunately, I had math class with Mike too. Oh, joy.

On break, when I was at the cafeteria, getting lunch, I sat down with the others, ignoring Jessica and Lauren's looks of a cross between suspicion and hope and Mike's endless infatuated stares. Both Angela and Eric were also staring but in bewilderment. I grabbed my apple and prepared to eat it before I noticed the Cullens coming in and sitting down at their usual table. I scowled at them.

However, there was something that startled me. There were only four of them.

Emmett, now no longer nearly as cheerful as he had been this morning, was now leaning over the table, staring at me, Rosalie looked like she wanted to glare but she just stared at me like her husband did. Jasper was sitting calmly, not looking at me. And Alice was….Smirking at me? Okay, weird. What was even weirder, was that their "fifth wheel," Edward was missing. I turned away from them, trying to be uncaring as possible.

I regarded the others around me, deciding not to hold off on confronting Jessica, Lauren and Mike anymore, I said, "Well guys," I addressed everyone at the table, "If you all have to say something, say it fast."

I expected an interrogation from Lauren and Jessica, but Mike beat them to it. "So, Bella," Mike started, his voice full of excitement, "Are you and Cullen really over. I mean, you didn't even pay attention to his brother in biology class today." His smile widened, and took a smug glance at the Cullen's table, smirking at the other Cullen children, before turning back to me, "If that's true….Um, I know this movie we could go to and-"

"I'm sorry, Mike," I said gently, wanting to let him down easy, despite my new vicious attitude, "I know what it is you're going to say, but please, I'm really not interested in having a boyfriend right now, alright?"

I saw Mike's face and the word, "disappointment" did not clear it up. I sighed, now feeling completely guilty, "Look, Mike, I know you're a good guy, but I'd like some time without a boyfriend. You'll find a girlfriend that you deserve, but I'm just not her. For now I'm going to be boyfriendless. I know that's not even a word but that's what I need to be right now." I ended that with gentle words so that he would understand.

The lowering of his head sadly told me all I needed to know. I had hurt him unfortunately, but he understood completely.

"Now," I said, not turning to the Cullen table for I knew all four of its occupants heard me, "Lauren, Jessica, to answer your questions, it's like I said this morning, I've given up Edward, I'm no longer important in the Cullen family's eyes, so when Edward comes to school next time, you guys can have him."

I then looked at my red neglected apple that I had been deprived of eating for almost five minutes, "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to eat right now. So no distractions."

I bit into the apple with a loud "crunch," ignoring the stares I was getting from the people at my table, and I suspected from the table of the vampire "siblings." I had cut myself off from them completely. Why bother letting them hurt me again? This was the safest way.

I had eaten up almost all of the apple before risking a glance at the Cullen's table to see what they were possibly thinking. From what I saw, it wasn't good.

Emmett, Rose and Jasper were now staring hard at me. Alice was just cocking her head at me, and that unnerving smirk still remained. Oh boy, I had a feeling that by trying to end the drama, I had just opened an explosive bomb of drama. Great, just great.

Just like that, luckily, break time was over and we had to get to our other classes.

My next class though, was math, and I had that with Alice. To be honest, I wasn't sure what to expect with her. With Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie, I was sure that even if they didn't give a damn about me, they just wanted to have me around to make Edward happy. Emmett's persistence this morning had confirmed it. Alice, I wasn't so sure about right now. I knew Alice had been smirking at me and to be honest it was almost as scary as what Esme had pulled last night. But I didn't know what she would do. Didn't she care about Edward and only Edward?

I got to my math classroom and sat down. Inevitably, the seat next to Alice Cullen was the only seat left. When I just slumped into the seat, I felt Alice's eyes on me. I didn't want to think about her or any of the others right now. Especially not Esme.

"Hello, Bella." Purred the playful and soft voice next to me, "And here I was thinking that you didn't want anything to do with us." I stiffened, angry, but I kept my mouth shut. I wasn't going to let her or any of them have that power over me.

"I'm only sitting here because I have to, Cullen." I said coolly, "Now leave me alone. I believe that you probably already saw Esme and my pleasant little conversation in the woods last night, so you know I have nothing to say to any of you."

I proceeded to glare up ahead at the professor. But Alice still persisted. "Oh, Bella," She chuckled, "I'm hurt. You don't want to have anything to do with us? Now that's cruel." Alice made her voice as quiet as possible, but her smirk told me that she was trying not to burst out laughing.

"Besides," She continued, watching the back of the teacher as he scribbled on the board, "That's not what I see later." I found myself snorting at how ridiculous Alice could be sometimes.

"Yeah?" I chortled, "Well if you're such a good future seer, why the hell didn't you come back when you saw me suffer after you all left? Convenient, isn't it, that you came back just after I jumped off that cliff, into the sea, isn't it? Wanna explain that little mystery to me, great fortune teller?" My voice was practically biting as I finished my sentence.

Alice sighed, leaning back in her seat and getting out of my eyesight completely as she breathed, "There is no explanation, just pitiful excuses. Excuses don't even come close to the reason behind it. We just made a horrific mistake. Saying "sorry" will not undo any of the damage that's been done. I'll say it if it makes you happy, but we both know that it won't reverse our actions."

Every single word that came out of Alice's mouth made sense, and yet it filled me with burning rage. How dare she just sit back and say that she could do nothing? She and her family owed me for all the pain I felt! The pencil that I picked up was now clenched in my tightly balled up hand.

I grit my teeth together and was about to snarl at her in my uncontrollable temper, when I'm reminded of Alice's obnoxious visions.

"No, Bella," Alice cut me off, "I'm not going to just do nothing for you. I'll do whatever you want so as to heal you, bit by bit, but I need you to understand that that's all we can do. We can't rewind time, you know."

That was it. I pressed my thumb against the pencil so hard that it snapped in half. The top half of the pencil dropped and rolled onto the class table. Alice simply moved to her bag and pulled out an extra pencil for me, placing it next to the severed piece in front of me.

As her pale hand left the new pencil she gave to me, I felt myself staring at the infuriating inanimate object. I wanted to find a way to bring the pencil to life so that I could just have an excuse to murder it for the way I was feeling at this moment. I decided to distract that urge as I growled quietly to Alice, "So what, you saw this whole entire morning? Huh?"

I noticed Alice nod. "I did," She answered, "Usually my visions are a little unclear, but this one was the clearest that I've had in a long time. You seem absolutely resolved and determined to cast us out of your life completely. That was why my vision was so clear. Though I seriously hope you do not go through with your decision."

I reached out, dropping the bits of my original pencil and snatched up the new one, shoving the decapitated remains of the other away like it was the most offending inanimate object on the face of the planet. I gripped the new one and slammed my closed fist with it against the lined paper in front of me.

I growled at her, still glaring at my desk and not facing her, "And why do you hope that? So that you guys can fuck with my feelings some more? That it? Or are you Cullens actually realizing that you have to _work_ to get me to care about you again? It must be hard for you guys not to be able to use your usual corny charms anymore, you know, now that I know that you're all snakes underneath that charm."

Even now, after last night, I couldn't completely believe the hurtful words that were being spewed out of me. And yet, I meant every word. They hurt me, so now I hurt them. It seemed pretty damn fair to me.

I didn't hear Alice's words for a while. What, she didn't see that remark coming? Too bad for her.

"Snakes?" I finally heard Alice say quietly, almost making me jump, "That's what we are? Dear, Bella, I thought you at least had a higher opinion of us than that. I don't blame you if you don't though. On the other hand, I am curious. Why on Earth would you give any kindness to Lauren and Jessica? Even if you've lost all interest in Edward, wasn't it cruel to subject him to the two of them?"

Okay, I'll admit that I was amused by that. I chuckled, "This is Edward we're talking about, remember? I don't think that there's a cruelty in this world that even comes close to fitting any punishment that he deserves."

Surprisingly, Alice laughed at my words. "Perhaps you're right," She said and I could have sworn out of the corner of my eye that I saw her smirking, "After all, Esme, I do believe would agree with you."

Whatever brilliant, cruel, fast thought that might have manufactured in my mind that I could use as a defense, immediately halted. Wait, what had Esme said to the family last night? What was Alice talking about?

I decided to risk my resolve that was made of steel, or at least I thought was, and slowly turned my head to the pixie vampire, who I found looking right at me. "Alice," I started, cautious, "What's going on here? What do you want? And what do you mean that Esme would agree with me?"

Those infernal golden eyes sparkled with mischief. "Nothing's wrong, Bella." She said in an oddly tender way, "I don't want anything, except some of your time. And what I mean, when I say that Esme would agree with you, is that Esme has started losing patience with our dear brother. Edward is losing Esme's favor. Esme is starting to see just how deceitful and undeserving my brother really is of you."

I didn't understand. My eyes, needless to say, widened. I had seen how displeased Esme had been upon hearing Edward approaching us last night in the forest, but I had no idea that she was starting to disregard him as an actual match for me. Last time I had checked, the only reason why Carlisle, Esme and the rest of the family cared about me in the first place was because of her relationship with Edward and that was about it. I had always thought that I was just "Edward's mate" in their eyes, but now I was beginning to wonder. Was what Alice said just now true?

No, I told myself. It wasn't true. She was lying so that I'd come back to the fold of their family again, so that they could get their sadistic rocks off by making me feel welcomed and then screw me over again by leaving. Yeah, sure, guys, I was really gonna fall for that one again.

"Right," I mumbled, looking away from the annoying vampire and glaring back at our diligent professor, "Pull the other one. You guys couldn't get me back on your terms so you could make me feel like shit, so instead, Esme sent her youngest and most annoying child. Go fuck yourself, Alice."

I didn't want to look at the vampire next to me. I didn't want to see the pain in Alice's eyes that would be the exact twin emotion of Esme's heartbroken expression last night.

God damn it. I hated how everything was against my favor. Every god damn thing I did felt like it was going to come back to bite me in the ass. When I did the "good and proper" thing, like having a relationship with Edward and being nice to the Cullen family, it came back to bite me in the ass, when I stood up for myself and gave Alice and Esme the words that they deserved, it came back to bite me in the ass. Fucking figures.

I felt no sound, no answer, nothing. Alice remained silent. I tensed. I wanted to turn and see if she was alright, but I was too terrified of allowing my heart to burst at the sight of Alice's pain. I had already gotten enough guilt for my own words, thanks to facing Esme last night.

"You don't need to be so worried about me, Bella." Alice said in an amused voice, "I'm not sad. I know that this is just an act. You've been very cruel to both me and to Esme, but I know that that's just an act so that we can't hurt you again. Don't worry though, we won't. the only ones that are going to try to hurt you will be Edward and maybe Rose. But even Rose thinks that she's doing it for the best. We won't let Edward hurt you again, Bella. But obviously the rest of us, I know, though we're not going to betray you, have to get back into your life as well as we can and prove that we're not going to break your trust. And we'll do it by any means necessary."

I didn't even budge a little in my seat. Well, Alice seemed to take that pretty good. Maybe she had seen it coming and decided to become unaffected by it, or maybe it was just because she was what, one hundred or so years old and she could deal with these kinds of things? I really didn't know, but god damn, she was taking my verbal attacks way better than our-I mean, _her_ mother had.

"So," I mumbled, in a much less vindictive tone as I started writing my assignment on paper after seeing the written question on the board, "You guys are going to prove yourselves to me? How? I don't think that there's any way that's set in stone for someone to prove their worth of whether or not you're going to stay with someone absolutely. What could you possibly do to make me believe that you and your family will never abandon me again? Last time I checked, nothing."

I was dealing a lot of vicious monologues out these past two days. I believe that I've reduced myself to being what Rosalie Hale is. A bitch.

"My, my," Alice chuckled, "You certainly have this thought out, don't you? No, you're right that we don't have an absolute way of proving this to you. In fact, we have no way showing you, apart from engraving it into our marble flesh, but even that wouldn't guarantee it. We just have to earn your trust again. But, you'll have to give us a chance, too."

Hearing this crap, I found myself grumbling in the quietest voice imaginable, making sure that everything I said was out of human hearing range, "Fantastic, so I get hurt by all of you and yet I have to extend my trust _again_ to see if you're all telling the truth? Wonderful. Too bad you guys left, cause I forgot just how much of complete lawyer material you all are. Oh, and that's an insult. I hate lawyers."

It was a flimsy, horrible comeback and insult. I knew how flimsy and lame it was, but it was really all I had under my belt at the moment.

I wasn't a future seer like Alice but I, of course could bet on her, just like I could bet on her with everything else in my life, that she knew very damn well how pathetic that response was, and that I she would tease me about it, no matter how pissed off at her I already was.

I felt a cold hand gently pat my back.

"It's okay, Bella," Alice giggled very quietly, but loud enough for my pathetic human ears to pick up, "I know you're trying to be mean. You'll come up with better insults later. I've seen it. Don't be upset now."

"Shut up, Alice." I growled, pulling away from her hand, "I want you to just shut your damn mouth."

Something then just occurred to me as I mechanically wrote on the paper. Had any of Alice's "siblings" heard me?

"Alice," I spoke up, before I could wonder whether or not she had seen me asking the question, "Have any of the others heard me? If so, who and just how the hell much?"

I felt Alice shift in her seat and felt her hand on my shoulder again, this time remaining there without movement as she said in a reassuring tone, "Don't worry. Emmett and Rosalie are both all the way in the other side of the building. The only one nearby is Jasper. I can smell him from here. And yes, he can hear us. But that's not a problem. Remember, I told you that Esme made it clear what she thought about Edward. In front of the whole family, I might add. She even picked him up by his neck and threw him to the floor."

There was a giddiness in Alice's voice, and in all honesty, I almost fell off my chair when I heard that. Fuck the clumsiness that I always possessed, it was just flat out shocking. Esme actually assaulted Edward? Had I heard that correctly? That couldn't be, could it? Esme had regarded Edward last night as a pain and even gave him a very dangerous look, but the thought of her even touching him violently just seemed…..bizarre.

"Liar." I said, before I could think of saying otherwise.

"I'm lying?" Alice asked in a mock offended voice, "I think I'm hurt. Not only are you putting us in the same category as Edward, but you think that I'd lie to you about this? Edward's the best example of a spoiled vampire child, but Esme's finally had enough. After all, why do you think he's not in school today? Esme is the reason behind it."

I stopped writing and lifted my head. What? Edward had tried to drive me to school this morning. But then again, I hadn't seen him in school all day. That was indeed strange.

To answer whatever question I might have ended up asking, Alice said in an informative tone, "Esme intends to speak with you today, during breaks and to be outside. She wants an answer, Bella." This time, I found myself incapable of forming a thought to put on the paper. Esme wanted me to answer whether or not I wanted to be a vampire. She was going to confront me about it today.

The shock I felt was immeasurable. I almost felt like I couldn't do anything at the moment. Alice must have sensed my uncertainty, but she still continued, "She also wanted to make sure that Edward didn't interfere today. That's why Edward's not here. He was going to follow you to school, but Esme ordered Carlisle to stop him."

She hesitated before concluding, "Edward was about to follow you to the school this morning, but Carlisle drove to your driveway and used his car to block Edward's. I saw it all, while Rose was driving the four of us to school."

As everything was explained to me, I rewound that information and played it over and over. What the hell? Not only was Esme planning to change me into a vampire, but she was going to get an answer from me today, and she was making sure that Edward stayed out of her way. Again, I probably wasn't one to talk, given how much of a bitch I was being, but where did this weird, scary as hell doppelganger of Esme come from? There was no way that this was the Esme that I had originally met. Maybe the Volturi had found a woman that was almost exactly like Esme, changed her and tried to make her pretend that she was Esme so as to get me to their side, and they had somehow found a way to block Alice's visions so as not to stop them.

While I was busy thinking up elaborate conspiracies, my thoughts were broken when the professor called out, "Class dismissed!" I breathed a sigh of relief. I needed to get out of this fucking classroom. Between finding it amusing that Esme would ever hurt Edward, and then finding out that she was planning on speaking to me about my choice in becoming a vampire, within only a minute, I had become a rattled mess.

Yeah, I had become real tough. Real tough.

I shot up from my seat, jamming all my stuff into my book bag and was about to remove myself from the vicinity of Alice when she placed her hand on my wrist. This time, I was right next to her, so seeing her more visually, was inevitable at the moment.

"Bella," Alice said tenderly, looking up at me, "Calm down. You won't be able to think and answer Esme properly if you don't. Just calm down."

I glared at her out of the corner of my eye.

"I assume you've already seen what my decision is going to be." I snapped, wanting to hold onto my anger.

Alice shrugged, releasing me, "I've seen you debate. You make several different decisions, but it's hard for you to decide." She smirked and added, "But in the end, you always make the same decision. Even when you refuse, you come back to our house at some point and reconcile with Esme."

My eyes widened. Well, that helped my anger continue. How dare Alice tell me what I was going to do? And be so pathetic as to drive all the way back to the Cullen home and actually be the one to apologize to Esme after everything?

"Go to hell, Alice." I snapped, turning and storming out of the room, making sure not to turn. I didn't want this to last any more than it needed to last. I didn't want to form any second thoughts by seeing Alice's hurt look.

Going through the hallway, I noticed Jasper standing outside of the classroom as the rest of the class started filing out.

My steps faltered as I got a little nervous. However, I continued and when I walked past him, I heard him speak up, "Bella, that was very cruel of you to say to Alice. She wants to make things better. And so do the rest of us."

I halted right in front of him. Great. Now everyone was trying to do an intervention between me and my resolve. I'd have to give this family props for being complete assholes and enablers. "Including you, Jazz?" I asked stubbornly, though, surprisingly, not in a cold or hostile way, "Last time I checked, I wasn't your favorite person. You always kept away from me."

I noticed him shrug out of the corner of my eyes, "I was trying to protect you from me because of how your blood smells. But I do care about you. I'm so sorry about us leaving." His voice ended in a broken tone and for once, I felt my anger start to diminish. It was ironic; though Jasper attacking me had been the catalyst for the Cullens to abandon me, it was him that I forgave immediately. In fact, he was the only Cullen I forgave. Rosalie didn't even come onto my radar because I figured she just left because she didn't like me. But the rest of the family, in my eyes, betrayed me. Jasper on the other hand, I felt had the best reason for it and I gave him the upmost sympathy and forgiveness.

"I'm sorry, Jasper," I breathed, surprising myself, "I shouldn't be speaking to you like this. Maybe the others, but certainly not you. You were just acting like a vampire. You lost control of your instincts. The others left of their own free will," I turned and looked at him in the eyes, which of course was difficult, since I was much shorter than him, "You left because you were the one that lost control and thought that I'd never want to see you again. For that, you have the best reason more than any of the family to be forgiven, and I do forgive you, Jasper. But not the others." I stepped back a little, shaking my head, "I can't forgive the others. Not yet, anyway."

Before walking off, I added, "I suppose you're going to tell me that Esme will be speaking to me soon."

"Not soon," He said calmly, though a little reluctantly, as if worrying about my reaction, "Now. I can hear her car approaching and can smell her. She's close. Please be gentle with her, Bella. Esme is going through a lot of emotional stress now."

I froze. Okay, I did not want to get angry at Jasper, of all vampires, and it was understandable that he didn't want to feel any type of negative and hurtful emotions, but now I was getting pissed. I was the one that had suffered alone for almost a year and they were dolling out sympathy for Esme. Well, what did I expect from these guys? The family that abandoned together, pretended to empathize together, I guess.

I snapped my head to him, not caring that I was probably hurting him with my new anger, "Thanks a lot, Jasper. Now let's get this thing cleared, okay? Esme hasn't suffered at all. I was alone and none of you were there! Esme at least had the rest of you there for comfort. I think I can give you and the rest of the damn family a 101 class on suffering, got it?" I didn't care that the whole hallway of people could hear me, or that I could feel dozens of pairs of eyes on me. I just cared about getting my anger out and letting the whole world….No, not the whole world, just the Cullens know it, first hand.

I stormed off, eyes glaring hatefully down the hall as I moved.

So Esme was going to talk to me today about her offer, huh? Well, I was going to have some fun with that. She and her family decided to hurt me, now I was going to continue to hurt them. This time, she couldn't threaten me. There were hundreds of witnesses here if she chose to speak to me at the school.

And yet, through my strong and almost undefeatable vows of revenge, the muscle that was the recording part in the back of my brain kept playing the scenes, showing Alice, Emmett and Esme's looks of pain at the things that I had done so far and made my plans waver.

There were two debates swimming around in my head. Was I going to let Alice and her family win, by giving the future seer satisfaction of realizing that she was right and forgive Esme and come back into the family, just like _that, _and was I going to take the risk of getting my heart ripped out and mangled in front of my face again?

Or was I going to fight against the constant desire I had to run back to the family that I had come to love so dearly, speak words of hate and cruelty, without guilt and thought to it, and try to permanently sever the ties between me and these lovely vampires? And in doing so, protect myself from heartache and abandonment, yet suffer alone again, feel the pain of loss once more?

I stopped where I was walking and just halted in the middle of the space between the glass doors that led outside and the stairs that led to the hallway of the school. All these questions running around in my head, all these emotions swelling throughout my soul, and I just couldn't make my decision.

I clenched my fists as the two options kept weighing against each other.

What the FUCK was I going to do?

**Author's Note: Sorry for taking a while. The next chapter will involve Esme's little chat with Bella. **

**Also, I'm sure Bella's continual snide remarks to the Cullens is probably getting old, but we'll be facing that next chapter, so thank you for being patient!**


	6. Bella and Esme Hurt

**Chapter 5: The Decision:**

**Bella's POV:**

I was close to the entrance of the school. I just couldn't stop thinking about everything. Esme was going to come and speak with me, in what I suspect was only a few minutes. She wanted to hear my decision about whether or not I wanted to become a vampire. Jasper had even said himself that Esme was approaching. I would have to face her soon. I wouldn't even be surprised that if I were to stay in the school to avoid her, she'd wait outside of the school the whole day, just to make sure that I'd confront her at last.

I now realized that I had been standing here, waiting to see one of the Cullens' cars, knowing that it was being driven by Esme for at least twenty minutes now. Jasper said that he had heard the car coming, where the hell was she? Couldn't we at least get this torture over with?

I was alerted to the sound of one of the few cars on the road coming to a stop in front of the school's lawn. I walked closer to the school's doors and looked very carefully. And there it was; I saw Carlisle's black Mercedes parking right in the parking lot.

"Fantastic." I mumbled, "Time to get this over with, I guess." I went forward and pushed the doors open, stepping out into the cold air and started walking down the concrete steps towards the car.

I saw several students gather around the car, whispering words of awe at something so fancy.

"It's one of the Cullen's cars, isn't it?" One of them said.

"Of course," Another laughed, "Who else here would be able to afford that?"

Bella lifted her eyes, keeping a close watch on the car as she witnessed the car door open up, and a woman stepped out. My throat tightened. Esme was here and now came the big moment.

"Whoa," A tall boy marveled, "She's hot! Think this is Mrs. Cullen?"

"Yeah, of course!" He laughed, "They're all magazine pretty, of course they'd have a hot mom." I was really trying hard not to ask them if they were doing a "dumb and dumber" routine just to annoy the shit out of me.

When I got close to the hood of the Mercedes, Esme faced us and locked eyes with me.

I didn't move any further when her eyes met mine. I was nervous to say the least. Here this vampire was that I loved like she was my mother, the vampire that had hurt me so badly a year ago, and the same vampire that was offering me eternity. So how exactly was I supposed to approach this?

I then heard something that awoke my rage.

"Man," one guy right next to me mumbled, "it's too bad she's got that Dr. Cullen cause I'm getting a boner just looking at her." My teeth gritted together and my blood boiled and I suddenly whirled on the guy. The scum bag was making a perveted comment at my moth-at Esme, I mean.

"Hey!" I snapped, catching everyone's attentions, naturally, and the guy looked at me startled, "Who the fuck do you think you are? She's not an object you can get turned on by, she's a person with feelings! Go stick that boner of yours somewhere else, pal. And while you're at it, remember that this woman is the Cullen's mother so try thinking about whether or not you'd say something like that in front of your _own_ mother, you creep."

Understandably, everyone was staring at me and was now speechless. I seemed to be achieving that quite a lot lately. I realized what I had said and glanced to the left to see how Esme was taking this. The usually very calm and serene vampire now had both lifted her eyebrows and was looking rather amused. Then again, why was I surprised? After what happened last night, you'd think that I'd have realized by now that Esme was much more dangerous and unpredictable that I ever could have imagined.

My attention was on Esme, but I noticed out of the corner of my eye that the guy that I had been snarling at backed away, grumbling, "Damn, this girl's on her period or something?"

Esme broke her concentration from me and focused on the boy. "Excuse me, young man?" She said in a surprisingly stern voice, any amusement she had had before, now gone. The black haired, vulgar boy turned to her questioningly.

"I believe that everything you've said just now is rude and vulgar behavior," Esme sneered, her eyes narrowing, "You are lucky that I am here for a specific reason instead of scolding insolent, ungrateful brats who have no idea how easy their life is. You will not speak this way to another girl while I'm here at the moment, understand?"

Though there was no threat given in her sentence, there was something very disturbing about the way she said it. The manner in which she gave her speech gave me a feeling of danger. I noticed the boy tightening his jaw and looked like he was about to say something, when he lifted his head and met them with Esme's. I wasn't really sure what happened, but I always remembered how Edward's eyes freaked people out when he got angry enough, like those guys at Port Angeles. I think the boy was experiencing the same thing now. His eyes widened as he looked at Esme's, and he slowly backed away. Even though he had no idea just what Esme was, he knew, through his instincts that this woman was not to be fucked with.

Humans were animals just like every other creature on this planet, and like all animals, humans had that very helpful instinct that told them when to stay away from someone or something because it would put their lives in danger. This pitiful, more than likely misogynist boy was more than likely experiencing just this. His animalistic urge to run away for his life as he looked into the eyes of one of the most dangerous predators.

My analyzing of the boy was interrupted when I heard Esme speak in a disturbingly cheerful tone to him, "Now run along, young man. I'm sure you have much school work to do. And I don't believe it would do well in your parents' eyes to see you fail your grades." I really doubted that the boy needed any further encouragement. Like a scared little rabbit, he turned and fled. The other students that had previously surrounded us had also picked up the strangely primal aura around Esme and were slowly backing away. I heard one of them mumble, "God, there's something really weird about this family. Look at that woman's eyes. They look freaky and I'm not just talking about their color."

As they all ran away, I was left alone with the "big scary monster" in the parking lot. In fact, when I paid more attention, I didn't see anyone in sight in the parking lot. I suspected most people had either been scared off or were in class.

So once again, I was alone with Esme, completely unprotected. Not that I felt that protection was necessary, I knew Esme wasn't going to hurt me, but still….

"Alone at last, I see," I mumbled, now face to face completely with the alpha female vampire of the Cullen family.

Esme's eyes softened as they stared into mine. Now, with everyone gone and where we could concentrate only on each other, I felt both a sense of anxiety, and excitement. I wasn't sure where the excitement came from. Maybe it was knowing that for once, Edward wasn't going to interfere with whatever was going to take place here. But the source of the anxiety was obvious. Esme had started to scare me since last night. To be honest, I'd do anything to have Alice's gift of having visions. I had no idea what the hell was going to happen right now.

"Bella," Esme said, cocking her head in interest, "I thought that I'd have to go into the school to find you and speak with you. I'm happy to see that you came out on your own." She stopped for a moment and seemed to be thinking about something, "I can't help but assume that one of your brothers and sisters told you to meet me here."

I rolled my eyes. Ah, the whole family collaboration. How fluffy and wonderful.

"Yeah," I said dryly, now glaring at my truck that was parked on the other side, and yet I somehow managed to see it from here and was trying to burn holes into its already beat up doors, "But let's get something straight here, Esme. None of them are my brothers or sisters. Though, Jasper did kinda tried to guilt trip me. He did mention you'd be here. Alice also tried to get me to feel pity for you." I sneered the word 'pity' out coldly.

I still wasn't looking at Esme the whole time I said that, but my words were no less bitter.

"Bella," Esme's tone came out as strict, yet monotone as it had when she had been scolding the boy just now, "Look at me. Look at me right in the eyes, little girl."

I felt a very strong compulsion to obey her. I told myself over and over as I turned my head that that was not a good idea, that I needed to avert my attention _away_ from Esme, not give her further attention.

But my body disobeyed my mind and I was soon staring at her again.

Esme's face was as serious as possible, and that look that she had possessed in her eyes last night was now there again. Oh great, that really made me feel a whole lot more comfortable. Nothing like having a primal, unpredictable and possibly emotionally unhinged vampire trying to lecture and mother me. Yeah, that really would make me feel safe.

"They weren't asking you to give me pity." She whispered out. Well, I guess not "whispered," since if she was whispering, there would be no way that my human ears would be able to pick it up. But whispered by our human standards anyway, "They just wanted you to give your choice on my offer." She stepped back a moment and looked at me, studying, "Even if you refuse, you can always change your mind of course." She added a smirk to that and I was infuriated at the arrogance that I was witnessing today, not just from one Cullen but _two_. God, this family was on a roll here.

Esme's smirk then morphed into a curious look. "What else did Alice say to you, Bella?" She asked, lifting her eyebrow, as if wanting to find some great answer out.

"What else?" I asked, feeling a little suspicious of this question. What did Esme mean 'what else?' "I don't know what you're talking about I answered, cautious, "Alice didn't say anything else except that I should give you guys a second chance, that was all."

Esme turned her head and her eyes and was now glancing over at the school. "I see," She whispered, "I guess she wasn't ready for you to hear it then. Then again, with all the chaos you've experienced, you probably aren't ready."

Um, what the hell? Now I was just bewildered. Great, we were having a re-enactment from last night and were going straight into screwed up, "what the hell is going on" land. That, or the land of subtle messages.

I finally snapped, too aggravated to deal with this, "Okay, what are you talking…" I then realized that I wasn't interested in playing around, "You know what? Screw it! What are you doing here, aside from annoying me by asking if I'm going to be made into," I stopped my rant for a second when I realized that we were in a public area and looked around the parking lot just to make sure no one was there before turning back to Esme and whispering in such a quiet voice that only vampires could hear, "I mean aside from asking me to become a vampire."

Esme's smile widened as she turned back to me, "Thank you for being so concerned about our secret, Bella. Don't worry, though, there's no one here than can hear us. I smell no one, nor do I hear anyone's heartbeats or breathing," I almost shivered at those words. Ah, how morbid of her to tell me.

Esme went on, "And that's the only reason why I'm here. I want to know your answer." The staring contest that seemed to be conducting between us recently continued as we kept our eyes on one another. Her voice became more intense, as did her eyes as she spoke, "I want to change you into a vampire myself, Bella. I want my venom to be in your veins, I want to be your mother."

I blinked. And then I blinked again. And then I blinked a third time. Right then, was that supposed to sound morbid or was I just imagining it? She had said it in such an intense way that I wasn't sure whether or not I should be afraid. But I was leaning more towards, yes I should be.

After what felt like eternity, I breathed out, "Right, well you've said it, that's about it then." It was the least intelligible thing I've probably said when it comes to the Cullens, which is saying a lot considering I've said a lot that's stupid since meeting them. But that was really all I could come up with.

Esme raised her head a little, narrowing her eyes. "And?" She asked, her voice hinting a strange nervousness, "Your answer?"

It took me a while, but I found my voice along with my temporarily lost anger. She had the gall to come here and ask that I'd be her daughter when she and her family had done all that they had to me? What a laugh.

"Okay, so you want to turn me into a vampire because you love me?" I asked, my voice dominated by anger, "You should be on a comedy show, Esme. That's really funny."

"This is _not_ a joke, Bella," Esme said, her voice taking a surprisingly annoyed tone, "And you _know_ it. This is genuine. I'm offering you immortality with our family forever."

Once again, the conflict was clashing around in my mind. I desperately wanted to believe her and accept her offer, but I desperately wanted to remain enraged. I wanted to keep being angry at her, have excuses to snap at her.

It was that determination that led me to this extremely low blow, "Right, you Cullens genuine, Esme? Bullshit." I really should have known better than to have said that, but it was out and no taking it back now. And I was confirmed that it was a bad idea to say that as I heard a horrendous, trembling rumble from Esme, sounding like it was almost shaking the entirety of the parking lot.

I stepped back a little, feeling frightened again. Esme was roaring with her mouth closed. Her eyes were darkening. The fear that I had felt when I had pissed Esme off last night returned. Once again, Esme was taking on a predatory look and what was more it was aimed at _me_.

Yeah, sure, nothing at all to worry about.

I quite obviously was not learning to shut it, because for some reason, I said in a rather loud voice, "Gee, where's Edward around to protect me when you need him. I feel like I'm in danger." I was half nervously laughing and had said it out of sheer disturbance, but those words had clearly been a mistake, again.

Esme snapped her head down and moved closer to me so that she was now looked like she was towering over me. I shivered, but didn't say anything. I could feel an unfamiliar shaking in my legs.

"I think feel insulted, Bella," Esme growled, smirking and showing her teeth, "I know that that's your intent, but now you really are hurting me. Edward isn't capable of protecting you. If anything, he puts you in more danger than anything else. He seems to be very good at that, actually." Esme's face formed another smirk before she added, "Besides, Bella, you're not scared that I'll kill you. That's not why you're afraid."

My lower and upper jaws clenched together in an almost dangerous manner. For a moment, I almost feared that I'd bite myself. I hated what she was saying, considering she was right. I wasn't getting unnerved because I thought she was going to kill or hurt me. I was afraid because of something much, much worse.

Esme basically spoke my fears for me, "You're afraid of loneliness. You're afraid I'll make you this promise and then we'll leave you again. You're afraid that your heart won't be able to take it. Not that you'll need to prepare for any heartbreak, since we're not going to leave you ever again." She finished that sentence with a wave of her marble, pale hand as if it was the most obvious thing in the world for me to know.

I steadied my gaze, feeling extremely distrustful.

"Well you'll excuse me if I don't believe you." I said in a cold tone, now glaring.

Esme's gaze never changed. She then shrugged, "Alright, you're excused."

My eyes widened. "Why, you little….," I hissed, unable to think of anything else to say, "I just can't believe you have the nerve….," I ripped my gaze from her and threw my arms up in the air, now completely out of control in my frustration, "You…you, I can't deal with this! You're all acting like I can just forget what you all did? What you did was unforgiveable," I stopped thrashing in anger and looked at her in the eye again, "I can't and will never forget what you did. Do you have any fucking _idea _how much you and your family hurt me?"

I tempted fate a little by stepping closer, and glaring even more, speaking through my clenched teeth before she could say anything, "Jasper says that you suffered as well, but let me tell you the same thing that I told him. You might have suffered, but you had your family with you. You had Carlisle, Alice, Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett, but me?" I nearly snarled out, "I was completely alone, save for Jacob and my father." I took a breath, happy that I had gotten that out of my system, "I was alone. I only had Charlie and Jacob, but other than that, I suffered alone with only some backstabbing "friends" like Jessica and Lauren and that was about it. You practically had a whole support group surrounding you. So your suffering is nothing compared to mine."

I lowered my eyes because I didn't want to see Esme's pain. I was too susceptible to the tricks of vampires. A hand, moving faster than I could see, suddenly shot out and lifted my chin up in its cold grasp, forcing me to look back up at Esme's face.

Her eyes were now burning black coals. "Don't make my pain into something petty and small, Bella," Esme was now growling, making me shake a little at the power of the sound, "My pain while we left you was very real," Her eyes were still black but her face seemed to contort into a look of anguish as she continued, "And when we thought that you had died when you jumped off the cliff? Bella, I think I almost considered setting myself on fire when I heard that. I couldn't stand it. I was screaming and roaring for hours and Jasper was suffering terribly from my emotions." Her impassioned tirade stopped and her shoulders were shaking, and for a few moments, I realized that she was trying not to dry sob right in front of me. At that moment, I truly started having doubts about Esme's time being away from me less agonizing that mine.

"I'm not saying that you weren't hurting, Bella," Esme said, her voice calmer, "I can't even begin to imagine how much you were going through. I was suffering as well. But I know how much pain you were in. But that's one of the reasons why you need this. How will you be able to move on and be released from your pain if you can't move forward and live your life if you can't accept when people love you and want you as part of their family?"

Even if Esme were to take her hand away, I don't think I'd be able to stop looking at her. Was it weird that she said "live your life" when she was also offering to change me into a vampire which would make me undead? Yeah, okay, weird. Technical, but weird. I wanted to be able to speak, wanted to snap at her, wanted to demand how she could possibly have the audacity to claim that she knew what I felt, but good god, I was having a hard time even opening my mouth, let alone saying anything in response.

I tried to think of something to say, anything at all. No luck though. My mind, I think was experiencing what we call a "brain fart." At last, there was one shred of common sense that popped up into my subconscious and it compelled me to step back at least seven inches and out of Esme's grasp. The predatory female vampire's hand fell to her side, but she kept watching me with the greatest intent.

Without restraint, I slammed the side of my right hand against my forehead, covering my eyes and lowering my head, for probably the seventh time today, avoiding Esme's eyes. My jaws were still clenched, my eyes were fixed down on the gravel of the parking lot and my body was shaking in my confusion and rage.

"What the hell would you know," I hissed, not sure what else I could say, still staring with a penetrating look at the pavement, "You weren't there. Don't act like you understand me. All you care about is getting rid of your own guilt, that's all."

I didn't hear anything after that. When there was nothing but silence, I was sure that I had struck a nerve and slowly, disappointment seeped into me again. So, I was right after all. Esme didn't care about me. Her intentions were only to either hurt me or just to soften the guilt of what she had done.

"Bella," Esme's sad voice cut into my cold resolve and caught my attention, but I didn't look at her, "You disappoint me. I thought you'd at least know me better than to think that I'd only be trying to extinguish my guilt. I know you bear rage towards me and the rest of the family that probably won't be resolved perhaps even for another few centuries, maybe even more than three centuries. But to say that that's all I'm doing this for? For my guilt?"

Her voice broke when she said it, and I slowly lowered my hand and lifted my head to look at her now clearly sober face. The black in her eyes was gone, but the anguish in her gold eyes remained.

I flinched. I felt like crying, but I could only say one thing in defense for what I had said, "Well, how would I know? You guys are so good at deceiving people that you could have fooled me about whether or not you even cared! Hell, what you're giving me is probably an act too!"

And once again, I was showing just what type of talent I was forming lately for saying words that could cut into peoples' souls. This was proven when Esme's lips pulled back, revealing her fangs clenching together and her eyes closed. Finally, Esme's lips closed, and her entire marble body slumped in defeat.

"Fine." Esme whispered, opening her eyes and I was startled at the completely destroyed look I saw.

She then turned away from me and I realized that she was going to leave. Panic welled in me that I'd lose her. I was being selfish; I knew that; wanting to hurt her and yet wanting her to stay too.

"Esme, wait!" I yelled, running over till I was right in front of her and between her and the Mercedes and facing her. Esme regarded, still wearing her broken look that tore me to pieces. "What do you want, Bella?" She asked, her voice now a growl and I restrained myself from jumping, "Do you just want to toy with me? Will that bring you pleasure? To toy with me and hurt me like we did you? I understand if you do, though it doesn't make this hurt any less."

"No, I don't," I whimpered, tearing my eyes away from her and staring at her feet, "I…I don't, I can't…" The tears that I had been trying so hard not to spill were now streaming down my face, my frustration, fears, anxieties, and sorrows let out all in one swoop of chaos.

As the sobs shook my body, I saw Esme's feet move and the next thing I knew, I was held in her arms and I was up against her body, my tears staining her satin shirt.

"I'm sorry," I whimpered, "I'm sorry…I…please…"

"Shh." Esme said quietly, moving her hand to my hair and stroking my head a few times, "Bella, I'll give you time. I'm sorry I made you cry, I'm just as fragile as you are right now. I'll give you time; no matter long you need, I'll give you time. But please, I know….I know that if you say no that you'll come to regret your decision."

I laid my head against her stone hard forearm. I knew that if anyone else had heard her say that, with the knowledge that Esme was a vampire, they'd have taken that last thing that she said as a threat. But I knew far better. Esme would never threaten me. She was guaranteeing it, that was all. And I knew she was right, much as I hated to admit it. I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't let the Cullens back into my life, and if I didn't let Esme change me into a vampire. There would be no way for me to move on with my "life" if I didn't allow Esme to change me, to confront the one issue that had been riding on my shoulders since I was fucking born. How pathetic. My life was ruled by mommy issues. Freud would love this.

I nodded against Esme's arm, pulling away a little and Esme released me. It wasn't like I could have gotten away from her without her choosing to let me go, anyway.

Once she was at arms-length, my tear stained face turned up so I could look at Esme's face again.

"Esme," I started, "I'll think about it. If the weather's the same tomorrow, come to the school again and I swear that I'll have at least thought about it. Please come back then….don't leave me, I know I'm being selfish, but-"

"Shh," Esme repeated, 'I know why you said everything. I'm being selfish too. I'm expecting you to just forget everything that's happened, all so that we can have you back in our family. I'll wait longer. But you know that it'll only bring you more pain, the longer you reject us."

I said nothing, but nodded. Have I mentioned that I hated it when she was right? I knew where I belonged. With the Cullens. It would hurt me again and again and again if I rejected them continually.

Esme moved her hand to my face, tenderly pressing a powerful finger against my cheek, wiping the tears away. "I'll come again tomorrow," She said gently, "But I expect the right choice, Bella. We both know this is killing the both of us."

I barely was able to hold back my wince. Again, she was right. Esme removed herself from her spot next to me and walked back to the Mercedes. As she opened the door, she looked over at me with even more intent.

"Bella," She said firmly, "I won't allow Edward to control you again, but I wonder, just how long are _you_ going to _let him_ control you?" I gave her a confused look. Wait, come again?

Seeing my confusion, Esme continued, "By allowing this grudge and this pain to get between us and between you moving on, you're allowing him to control you. I don't know about you, but I will never make that mistake again." She ended that statement with a determined, resolved and just flat out angry, confident look that I found that I truly believed it.

One last time, before Esme entered the car, Esme added, glancing at me, "Bella, speak to Alice. She's keeping something from you that you have the right to know. I do believe that she can give you more than anything Edward ever could." With that, she stepped into the Mercedes and started the engine and began to pull out of the parking lot.

As I watched the Mercedes leave, I was left wondering to myself, _(What the fuck was that?)_

What the hell was I going to do? I wanted to give in and accept the Cullens back into my life, but the fear remained, as strong as the blood that remained in my veins so long as I was human. And what the hell was happening here with Alice anyway?

**Author's Note:**

**Well, I hope you all liked it. And I'm afraid to tell everyone this, but the story's winding down to its conclusion. Yes, I'm so sorry, my dear readers, but this story is going to come to its end in a few chapters. I know…So sad.**

**The next chapter, Esme will tell Bella what her story is, you know, with Charles. Yeah, get ready to break out the tissues.**


	7. Esme's Story

**Chapter 7:**

**Esme's Story:**

**Bella's POV: **

It had been agony for the rest of the school day. My mind kept going back to Esme's hurt eyes, her pained voice as she begged me not to "toy with her," her ragged body movements as she sagged to the Mercedes to leave after my rejection. Her pain remained branded like a hot iron in the muscles of my brain. I couldn't ignore any of this. If I rejected Esme again, I could ruin any chance of truly moving on and being happy.

School went on slowly. If time was an animal during the day, it was moving as fast as a snail would. I felt like I was gonna fall asleep at least seven times during two of my classes. Luckily I had evaded the rest of the Cullens. I seriously did not want to deal with Emmett or Jasper's pleas, Alice's games or Rosalie's glares. Whenever one of them so much as came close to me in the hallway, I walked faster and got to an even more populated area.

I had no intention of dealing with any of them. Finally, when the day ended and I got to the parking lot, going to my pickup truck, wanting to get back home as soon as possible, I had one of those weird "Spiderman" spider sense things. I felt someone looking at me.

I turned and low and behold, amongst the crowds of shallow teenagers in the parking lot, behind Mike Newton, Angela, Lauren and the others, stood four of the Cullen "children." All of them looking at me.

Fucking great.

I scowled. "What are you guys looking at?" I whispered, too quietly for humans to hear, but loud enough for the four of them to hear me more than easily. I glanced up at them occasionally. They stood by their respective vehicles. Emmett had already jumped inside his black jeep, but he was sitting on top of the jeep's door, looking at me, as if angry at how I was ignoring them. All three Rosalie, Jasper and Alice were next to Rose's red convertible.

Rosalie was glaring at me with the intensity of a thousand suns, Jasper was just watching me, his appearance nonchalant. Alice, once again, much to my fury, was smirking at me, though even from here, I could almost feel waves of sorrow coming from her. Hmm…or maybe that was coming from Jasper, considering his empath powers. I ignored the terrible feelings and turned back to my own vehicle and opened the door, ready to get inside when I heard Jessica's voice behind me.

"Hey, Bella," Jessica said, in an all too cheery voice that just screamed, "now that you're not with Edward, I'd like to be your best friend," "Do you want to hang out with us after school tomorrow? We're all going to La Push." I stiffened when I heard that. And I'm more than sure that the rest of the Cullen family did too. Fantastic. Not only were the Cullens trying to invade my life and try to tell me what to do, but now I had to worry about those testosterone driven, steroid induced wolves? Fuck my life. I turned around to face Jessica, bent on politely refusing, both because I knew she had her own greedy agenda, and because I couldn't deal with Jacob and his overprotective and prejudice, "I was choosing the unnatural creatures," attitude. I had my problems with the Cullens; I sure as hell did, but the wolves' hate for them simply because they were another species that they considered abnormal was disgusting to me.

I opened my mouth to kindly reject her offer, when I noticed the Cullens watching me again. They had all now become serious upon hearing about La Push. Understandably too. I glanced up a little and noticed that they were now looking at me with serious intent, as if pleading with me not to go. That was when my decision changed. Oh, no; they had already tried to keep me away from Jacob by trying to take out my engine, they weren't going to tell me what to do this time.

I was about to consent to Jessica's request when I remembered something. Hadn't I promised Esme that I would speak with her about becoming a vampire at school tomorrow? My thoughts came to a halt as I wondered what I was going to do for a moment. I took another look at the Cullen children. They were staring at me in anticipation.

I looked back to Jessica. "When tomorrow are you guys going?" I asked, thinking that I might either be polite about it or just reject her offer to come with her altogether.

Jessica gave an uncaring shrug. "I don't know." She grumbled, "Probably after school. Why?"

I considered what she was asking further. Well, why not? If Esme was going to visit me during school, then it wouldn't matter would it if I went visiting La Push with the tomorrow after school, would it? Besides, if I did join the Cullens, it might be the last chance I get to say goodbye to Jacob and the others.

"You know," I said, making sure my voice was loud, "That sounds like a really good idea. Sure, I'll go with you guys to La Push after school. I'd love to see some of the guys there."

My eyes glanced to the four Cullens and I actually felt fear when I saw them. They were pissed. All of them were. Even Alice and Jasper looked like they wanted to kill me or something. I ignored the unsettled feeling I got from it, and gave Jessica a smile. As the two of us departed, I jumped into my truck and started it up, driving it towards the exit of the parking lot, which happened to be right where the Cullens had parked their own cars, unfortunately.

My window was up, but I heard something disconcerting. I wasn't sure if I was imagining it, but as I drove by the Cullens and their cars, I could have sworn I heard four growls coming through the glass of my truck's window. I stiffened against the steering wheel as I got out of the school's driveway. No need to get even more freaked than I already was getting. As I got on the road, I was more than sure that I had heard those stupid Cullen vampires growling. Great, when they didn't get their way, they started growling like mere animals. And they called the wolves savage. Morons.

My mind was on every single thing that had happened today, and yet it all seemed fuzzy, like I was trying to numb myself to it all. No, never mind, it wasn't like I was trying to, I _was _numbing myself. Every time my mind went back to my feelings and to Esme, everything hurt. There seemed to be no other solution except to numb myself.

I was so tired of pretending that I didn't care about my family, even though I still was angry at them. I drove to my house, deciding that I'd have to settle this tomorrow during school. My mind was too boggled to figure anything out now. I'd wait till tomorrow and when I saw Esme during school…..well, I guess I'd be just as lost as I was now. Fuck. I sighed, getting out of my truck and headed towards my house, putting on a fake smile so that Charlie would think that everything was alright.

After I entered the house, mechanically talking with Charlie as if it was normal, making dinner for the both of us, occasionally laughing, talking, me talking around anything that would eventually lead back to the Cullens, basically the usual. Once it got around 9:30, I headed to my room to start typing up my homework. I usually liked schoolwork, but on a day like today, it just felt boring. It was something about the events of the Civil War or something. I'd have to look it up on the internet to find more.

I sighed and started writing up the introduction to my paper. Usually with papers, all one had to do was put in more and more words, even if they were just bullshitting, and the paper was done, so I just had to write up my introduction to the Civil War paper and that was when I'd do the research.

After almost twenty minutes, when I was finishing the ending sentence of the introduction paragraph, I heard an odd and eerie scratching noise outside of my window against the window's glass. My fingers froze at the keyboard. Okay, that noise didn't sound good. Creepy, actually.

I slowly pushed my chair back and turned to look at my window. The curtains were closed, but I saw a shadow moving behind them. I scowled. I didn't need to guess to know what was at my window. A vampire. Like the thousand times that there had been before. Probably Edward or Alice trying to get me to cancel my arrangement to see Jacob and the rest of the wolves tomorrow. Or maybe it was Rosalie or Emmett trying to yell at me for going to the wolves or being "cruel" to their dear Eddie boy. I got up, pissed, and walked to the window.

Either way, I was sick of my window being the usual drive through to speak to me.

"Alright," I growled, grabbing the curtains, "Who is it? I swear, if it's you, Alice, I'll-" I tore the curtains back and at the window, the glass being the only thing that separated us, I was now looking at the golden eyes of the vampire that I knew as my second mother.

"Esme?" I asked, jumping in shock, not fear. Okay, Edward, I was used to stalking me. Even Alice I was used to. But Esme now? First school, following me in the woods and now this? Fuck my life, man.

I was now staring hot holes through the glass at the vampire that was standing on the branch of the tree right outside my window. I didn't bother opening the window when I spoke, for she would have easily heard me even through a steel wall, given her vampire hearing, "What the hell, Esme? I know you vamps are big on stalking, but come on! I can't even get some peace and quiet at my own home, even after you've stalked me to school?"

I knew that while Esme heard me easily, I wouldn't be able to hear anything at all, so I figured that I'd have to open the window at some point anyway. Esme's sad smile tugged at my heart immediately. God damn it. I figured that at the very least I'd have hardened my heart against Esme between the last time I had seen her today and right now, but no, there was no use, was there? I flinched at her look and slowly opened the window a few inches.

"What is it, Esme?" I asked giving up on my cold charade.

"Bella," Esme said loud enough for me to hear but still quiet and to, I hate to admit, my heartbreak, she sounded sullen, "May I please come in?"

My shoulders sagged. What could I do? Blood or not, whether she had abandoned me or not, in my heart, she was my true mother and whether I wanted to admit it or not, I couldn't reject my own mother.

I pushed my window up all the way and I nodded towards the inside of my room. Vampires don't need an invitation to get into your home like all those stupid stories say. They're far more dangerous because they can come in whenever they want. But Esme wasn't the type to come in without anyone's permission, much less without _my_ permission

Once I had the window all the way open, I saw a flash of color cross my path and Esme was now in my room, looking at me. Eyes staring at me as if studying me.

I closed the window, wordlessly and then turned to her, eyes narrowed.

"So what's up, Esme?" I asked dryly, some of my attitude returning.

Esme took a glance at the screen of my computer and I noted to myself that like vampires' hearing, they also had much more advanced eyesight than that of humans'.

"Find something interesting about my paper?" I asked coolly.

"Actually yes," She drawled, looking back to me, golden eyes humored again, "Your paper is on the Civil War, I see. You know, you could ask your brother, Jasper about it if you need help."

I was about to retort once again that Jasper wasn't my brother, but a question popped up in my mind.

"How's that?" I asked curiously, as usual, my interest never failing to get me into trouble.

"Oh, we never mentioned before?" Esme asked, smiling, "Jasper was changed into a vampire during the Civil War. He was known as Jasper Whitlock back then. He was on the side of the South, unfortunately."

I shrugged at that last part. "What was he gonna do?" I asked, uncaringly, "You can't help where you're born or who teaches your morals as you grow up." I held on for a moment and added, my voice becoming icy, "And how the hell would I have known that? You guys keep everything from me. Oh yeah, that's right; I'm just a puny little human, I can't understand anything. I need to be protected all the time, just like I needed to be kept safe from you guys."

Esme actually looked like she was about to roll her eyes for a moment. "Bella," She said, her voice aggravated, "We've been through this. We shouldn't have left you and we shouldn't be keeping secrets from you." Her voice then became even more serious as her eyes then stared at mine as she asked gently, "Which is why I'm here in the first place. Bella….will you let me tell you my secret? Will you let me tell you the story of how I became a vampire?"

I lost all of my sarcasm and anger and now stared with wide eyes at the alpha female vampire. Was I hearing correctly? I knew I had trust issues now, but being changed into a vampire was a serious matter. The Cullens were an especially secretive bunch. Was Esme really going to tell me about it?

"You'd….you'd do that?" I asked, stumbling over my sentence in my shock, "I thought you guys didn't like talking about when you were changed."

She cocked her head as she spoke, "Didn't Edward tell you about how he, Carlisle, Emmett, Alice and the rest of us were changed?"

I chuckled humorlessly, "Oh, Edward told me alright. It was when I truly thought he and the rest of you trusted me," I glanced back up at Esme and watched as she flinched before adding, "He told me about the Influenza that almost killed him before Carlisle got to him, and he told me about Rose finding Emmett's wrecked body by a bear and about Carlisle being jumped on by a vampire and bitten, and he mentioned about Alice being changed in the mental hospital and not remembering anything. But he just said that Rosalie was beaten in an alley and that you fell off a cliff." My voice ended cautiously, cause I knew that this was getting personal.

Esme nodded and said, "All that is true. Edward is a waste of space, I'll admit that," Again, nothing prepared me for how she spoke about her first child, "But I do feel grateful to him at least a little for being gracious about my and Rosalie's stories. Maybe Rose will tell you hers one day, but both of our stories are….rather disturbing."

I wasn't sure how to respond to that. That sounded kind of unnerving to hear.

Esme closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. She exhaled, "He _was_ telling the truth about me. I did fall off a cliff and Carlisle found me barely alive in the morgue and saved me by changing me," she then opened her eyes and those golden eyes were filled with the deepest of sorrows that I almost stepped back, surprised, "But there was something far worse that he didn't tell you." She paused and looked at me pleadingly, "Will you let me tell you the rest of my story?"

I stayed very still. What could I do? Seeing her like this….I wanted to know. I _had_ to know. Why was she in so much pain? What dark secret about her past could possibly make her look like this?

I breathed out, defeated, "Okay, Esme, I'll listen. But be very quiet, cause Charlie's home." I knew that she already knew that, but I figured that I might as well point out small things, since I had a feeling that I was going to be in for a very long, serious and grave talk.

Esme nodded, understanding and I walked to my bed, sitting at the foot at it and gestured to the left of me. Esme walked over and sat next to me, our eyes still locked.

"Bella," Esme started, her voice careful, as if trying to think of the exact way to articulate this painful story she had, "Do you know what year I was changed into a vampire?"

I thought for a moment, trying to dig through the memories of all the things that Edward actually _had _told me about his family.

"Um," I said, unsure, "The very early 1900s?"

Oh yeah, that was intelligent, Bella, real intelligent. I rolled my eyes at my own incompetence.

I heard Esme chuckle, noticing my aggravation. She answered me, "That is correct. I was changed in the year 1921. And I was born in the year 1895 in Columbus, Ohio. My human name was Esme Anne Platt." She turned from me and leaned back a little, eyes closed in remembrance, "My family and I lived on a farm. We were of course, rather poor, but we were happy together. When I reached the age of twenty-two, I had aspired to be a teacher." She smiled as she said that, and I couldn't help but smirk at that idea. Yeah, that sounded like something Esme would love to do. She loved children after all. Esme's voice then became serious and dark as she opened her eyes, "But my parents ordered me to marry. And in their eyes, the suitable enough man for me was a quite wealthy, seemingly respectable man named Charles Evenson." I shivered at the tone in her voice as she said her old husband's name.

What was worse, I felt a terrible foreboding building up in me at her words. Why did I get the feeling that this story was going to take a very dark turn?

Esme, as if once again, reading my thoughts while Edward couldn't, turned to me and stared, her voice becoming tired and depressed, "Charles was an upstanding citizen in public, but when he and I were alone….," She trailed off and I witnessed as a vampire, yes a _vampire_ shuddered in near terror at her memories, "He showed me what he was really like. I was nothing but property to him. There was no love between us," Her eyes darkened as she continued, "And for every mistake he believed that I had made, I received his fist."

I stiffened. I don't know why I was so surprised. I had been more than sure of where this would go, and I knew that abusive relationships happened every day today in the present, so I could just imagine what life was like for women back _then_. Considering how little rights women had anyway. Still, it didn't stop the despair, or the rage roaring within me at her words.

I grit my teeth harder than I ever had together and both my hands were fisting the blankets of my bed, clumps of the blanket between my palms and fingernails and my nails were digging hard into the fabric as I shook with rage, images of Esme; beaten, bruised, battered, crying, and terrified ran through my head, sending me into infernal, monstrous turmoil.

Thankfully, my anger was interrupted as Esme placed her hands gently on my balled up fists.

"Shh, Bella," She whispered tenderly to me as I broke out of my thoughts, "Shh. It's alright." I was forced to look at her and she was smiling sadly. "It's alright," She repeated, her voice carrying a heavy weight, "It's all in the past. Please calm down."

I forced myself to calm down as she said, but the rage still remained.

Esme breathed out, "Charles was indeed a terrible man. I begged my mother and father for help and begged them, but through the eyes of the society," Esme took on a grim look and let out a bitter laugh, "It was "improper" for a woman to complain about her own husband's mistreatment. Just…so utterly inappropriate."

I stared at her eyes, which were now glaring into the wooden walls so harshly that I was surprised that the whole house didn't set on fire.

Her bitter tone deepened, "My mother would just keep telling me that to be a "respectable lady," and not bring disrespect to our family, I should keep quiet about it." She then removed her hands from my own and stared at me, the rage in her eyes changing to anguish and….self-loathing?

I was startled at first but not nearly as shocked as when I heard her next words, "What kind of mother does that?" Esme asked, voice pained again, "What kind of mother abandons her child, and doesn't do anything as her child is suffering?" To make what she said even more disturbing, she turned and glared at something behind me. I turned a little to see the mirror behind me and saw that Esme was glaring at her own reflection.

My mind reeled as I heard and watched this whole thing. The self-disgust I had seen in her eyes and face was real as could be. She might have been talking about her mother….but she wasn't _just_ talking about her mother. Esme believed that she was the mirror image of her own mother. She was staring at herself in the mirror as if she was looking at the reflection of a monster who had abandoned her child.

Esme believed that she was no different from her mother for what she did to me a year ago.

The horror that started sinking into me became too much at some point. I had gone too far in my verbal abuse. I had been too cruel. Even if some of what Esme said might be right, I couldn't comprehend what I was witnessing here.

It was like watching a vibrant and beautiful flower wilt and rot in the cold of winter. It was awful to watch. It was too terrible, I had to stop.

"Esme-" I started, my voice pleading, wanting to stop whatever angry comments I had had ready to fling at her and the family in the future.

"Well, it's true, isn't it?" Esme's voice broke whatever plea I might have been able to come up with as she turned from the mirror to face me again, this time her eyes shined with mourning and determination, "A mother doesn't deserve that title if she leaves her child to suffer. I did to you, exactly what my mother did to me. You have every right to hate me for it. I know I came to hate my mother for leaving me to Charles's abuse." I was almost sure that Esme was going to cry, even though I knew far better than that, considering vampires couldn't cry at all.

Though I could see a dark color starting to surround the whites of Esme's eyes and I realized that she was becoming more dangerous in her mood, I pushed aside any wariness I should have possessed and reached my hand up to cup the side of my mother's face.

"Momma," I whispered, no longer caring about my anger or bitterness or resentment. No longer caring about my own pain and what happened to me in the past, "You're not like your mother. You're not."

Esme's golden eyes looked at me, shocked, and there was almost a heartbreaking look of undeniable hope that had joined the sadness in her eyes. I wasn't sure if the hope was from hearing me call her "momma," or if it was because I was telling her that she wasn't like her mother. To be honest, I didn't care; I just wanted her to feel better.

Esme opened her mouth, but I cut her off, "Esme, tell me. Would your mother be like this after what that scumbag, Charles did to you?" After I asked her that, Esme's look turned to complete shock. I pushed, "Well, would she?"

I looked closer at Esme and said in a demanding tone, "Would your mother be sitting down, near tears and mourning over abandoning her child to your husband and not thinking about the pain she had allowed her child to go through. Would your mother have done that?"

Watching me with fascination, confusion and bewilderment, Esme's eyes slowly lowered to my mattress. "No." She growled out sadly, "No, I know for certain that she wouldn't. All she cared about was our "respectable position," Her growl became even more dangerous as she said that, "And about the money that Charles gave us."

I nodded, grimly thinking about the abominable hell that Esme must have had to go through; being abused and yet her own mother didn't even raise her voice to stop it, based solely on appearance in public. And the worst was that both Esme and I knew for sure that Esme's mother regretted none of it.

That bitch of a mother of Esme's, she was nothing like her daughter. No, Esme was far more worthy of the title "mother" than Esme's own mother would ever be.

Not that long ago, I had thought that I could never hate anyone more than I could hate Edward, but I was wrong. I was so fucking wrong. In only a few minutes, I had come to hate three people with the fiery passion of all of hell itself. And these three people were fucking dead! Esme's so called husband, and so called parents….they deserved to be brought back, just to be tortured to death, again and again and again.

"That's right," I agreed, observing her, trying to keep the wrath out of my voice, "She wouldn't be sitting down and weeping over her child's suffering. But you are. You're not like your mother, Esme. You're nothing like her. You know what you did was horrible and inexcusable and you're trying to fix it. I really doubt your so called mother would do that. Would either contemplate what she did, or try to redeem herself."

Esme lifted her head and, eyes full of light now even though the pain still lingered, and she smiled a little, fangs showing.

I felt no fear at the sight. If Esme being completely "vamped out" in the woods last night hadn't scared me, seeing her hopeful and with her fangs bared by means of joy certainly wouldn't scare me now.

I moved my hand from the side of Esme's face and moved it to fallen hand, squeezing her marble fingers in my hand.

I gave a sympathetic look as I said calmly, "Do you want to stop talking about it? We can if you want to."

Esme let out what sounded like a chuckle, and shrugged, smiling as she answered, "I partially do. But you need to hear this. And I need to tell you this. We both need to get past this."

I nodded. I wanted to pretend that I didn't know what she was talking about, but I of course did. Of all the conflicts I had, I still needed to move on and so did she. This would help the both of us, even if it was painful.

I feared Esme's next words, but I readied myself nonetheless as she spoke, "When the war came, the First World War, Charles was enlisted and went off to fight," Esme's eyes lightened up and my heart clenched at what she said next, "Oh, how I had been delirious with happiness by the thought that maybe, just maybe, Charles would die. A part of me even prayed for it and that he would never come back." As she ended her sentence, she lowered he eyes again and I could practically feel her shame for wishing such a thing.

I scowled at that thought.

"Charles was a monster." I snapped, angry that Esme would even consider it being wrong to wish for that piece of scum's death, "He deserved to die and more."

Esme glanced back up at me and smiled again, this time grateful.

I nodded for her to continue, and Esme lost whatever joy she had previously bore on her face. "When Charles returned," her voice full of misery, "He was even worse. The beatings were even more vicious than before, he'd cut me with a knife sometimes….and he'd even force himself on me." my eyes widened when I heard that, and it took every ounce of my willpower not to let out a scream of rage. Unfortunately, that didn't last long. The images of Esme being beaten down and that monster of abuse unbuckling his pants flashed through my mind and Esme screaming and pleading for him not to do it…..

My control snapped and I jumped up from the bed, hyperventilating, and I think for a moment I looked a little like an enraged vampire myself. I got to the wall where the window was and started kicking it in my fury. I wasn't semi kicking it, I was viciously kicking it, pretending it was Charles Evenson's head that I was kicking and screamed angrily at the wall.

This display of temporary madness continued until I felt a pair of marble arms wrapping around me from behind and pulling me away from the wall. "Bella, stop, you'll hurt yourself." Esme whispered. "Shh," She continued, "I know you're angry, and you have good reasons for it. I'm happy that you're trying to find some way of avenging me, but you can't. He's dead. Has been ever since I became a vampire."

When I heard that, all anguish and my raving violent mood vanished. Wait, what? I tried to figure out what she meant by that. It was true, humans all died long before anything happened to vampires, (assuming that the vampires wouldn't be killed off by other vampires or werewolves), but if Esme was changed into a vampire around the same time or near the same time that she would have been married to Charles, there was no way that Charles could have died when Esme was changed into a vampire. He wouldn't have aged to death that fast. There was no way…I froze. No, he couldn't have died….unless….

I slowly turned in Esme's arms, and I lifted my head and stared at Esme's calm and knowing eyes. I suspected my appearance consisted of all three shock, confusion and yes, maybe even a little fear.

Esme read my look and sighed, her smile remorseful, "Yes, Bella. It was me. I murdered Charles after I became a vampire. After everything that he had done, there was so much anger, so much confusion that I felt….and to top it off, I was a newborn." I saw how she shuddered at that last part and I was distracted from my previous disturbed thoughts, and was now a little confused. What would being a newborn vampire have to do with anything?

Seeing my confusion, Esme decided to take pity on my state of having a lack of information, "When one first becomes a vampire," She started, "When they're newborns, they're savage, completely out of control and bloodthirsty. They can't tell the difference between friend or foe, right or wrong. They're complete monsters for the first year of being a vampire. And when you add that I already wanted him gone and I actually hated him…" she trailed off and her face became grim.

I shivered in her arms. After Esme became a vampire, she had deliberately gone after Charles. True it was sure as hell just desserts but the idea that Esme would make that choice willingly was just….I shivered again at the thought and I felt Esme's arms tighten around me, as if making sure that I wouldn't try to get away from her.

She looked at me, concerned. I answered, not wanting to upset her, "I'm not going to try to run away, Esme. It's just….hard to imagine you doing it." I admitted it hesitantly, not sure if that was the best choice of words. I was a little afraid now, but I didn't want Esme to think that I'd leave her based on the murder of the abusive devil incarnate.

Esme chuckled against me, "Now that I think about it, it's hard to imagine that I did it as well." She steadied her gaze on me and added, "I won't lie, Bella, I enjoyed every moment of killing Charles. And it wasn't just because I was a newborn. I wanted to kill the man that had tormented me for years. I wanted him to suffer. So when I lifted him up by his neck and crushed his spine…" Esme stopped, realizing what she said and looked at me closely, clearly panicked that she had scared me even worse now.

I was trying not to be scared at the visual she was giving me. At the thought of Esme, in her newborn faze, eyes completely black, mouth widening in a carnivorous grin, all teeth and fangs showing as she lifted Charles up by his neck and using her other arm to squeeze the middle of his back so hard that not only did the skin of his back tear, bleeding, but his spine was completely shattered and severed in her grasp.

Okay, maybe I was now just a tiny bit afraid. I felt Esme tighten her hold on me again. She must have seen where my thoughts were going.

Her shoulders lowered and she looked even more pained and distressed now. "Are you afraid of me, Bella?" She asked, "I don't blame you for it. But you know that I'd never do anything to hurt you."

I didn't struggle against her. I knew she'd never hurt me. God did I know. If she was able to restrain herself with me in the forest last night after I managed to send of her over the edge and make her furious and animalistic like that, then I really doubted that she would hurt me now. But it didn't stop this new knowledge that I had gained about Esme's past any less disconcerting.

"I know, Esme," I breathed out, lowering my head, "It's just that….thinking about you like that, picturing you killing anyone, even that scum, Charles, and the way you're talking about how you killed him….I'm sorry. I know you would never hurt me."

Esme moved back so that we were next to the bed again, and she slowly released me. I turned back around to face her and sat back down on the bed. Esme said nothing and just dropped on the bed as well, waiting for something. I guess waiting for my permission for her to continue.

I inhaled, deciding that we could discuss this issue of Esme's first kill later. But I suppose that we needed to talk about what happened to Esme…after Charles returned. "Okay, I'm still listening, Esme." I answered her questioning look.

Esme calmly continued, voice now becoming grim, "After…everything that Charles did to me when he came back from the war, I realized at some point, around almost one month, that I was pregnant with his child." And once again, I was taken aback at the news of that little bombshell that she told me about. I suspected my eyes were as big as ostrich eggs.

What was worse, it was this Charles's child? That was just proof that life sucked ass. The monster that beat and abused Esme and he had been capable of reproducing? Fuck.

Seeing my look, Esme started again, smiling, "I knew that my baby wouldn't be safe in a house with someone like Charles. And I could just imagine the miscarriage that might happen if Charles beat me too severely. So I fled, fearing for the life of my child. I went to Milwaukee, to the home of my cousin," Her smile widened, and I wondered if she was remembering a pleasant memory of her cousin. However, her smile faded and she continued, "But after two months of being with my cousin, _he_ found me, so I had to run again." My stomach clenched at hearing that. I supposed I shouldn't have been surprised.

My father was a police officer after all. I knew a thing or two about abusive husbands looking for their fleeing wives. The abusers rarely let their victims go. The husbands were so obsessed with controlling their "property," that they'd usually stop at nothing to find the wives to terrorize them again.

Esme went on, "This time, I got to Ashland and pretended to be a war widow and became a school teacher so that I could raise money to support both myself and my coming child. I still had seven months before my baby would be born, so I had some time." I, for a moment, saw Esme's eyes light up and I couldn't prevent a smile. Esme got to live her dream, even if it was for a little while.

Esme's countenance became bittersweet upon seeing my smile, "But I only could work for so long. After almost seven months, the nine months had passed and my child was on its way. I gave birth to a son, William." Again, for another heart wrenching moment, Esme looked like she was about to cry, "He was beautiful, Bella. So small and so full of life. But on the second day of being in this world….he died of lung fever." My heart fell. This was almost too unbearable to listen to.

Esme now looked numb, as if by talking about it, she was reliving the horrific experience. "I…," she hesitated, "After that, I couldn't go on. I just couldn't. My husband was an animal and my parents wouldn't protect me, they just wanted me to be his property simply for appearances. And with my little boy gone….," Her voice became choked in her throat, "I wandered out after my little William died…and I was delirious with pain and heartbreak….and there was a cliff nearby…it just…it seemed so easy, there was nothing left for me…"

"No." I whispered, horror striking me hard. That was what happened? Tears started welling in my eyes.

"And…," I whispered, seeing where the rest of the story came in, "After you…," I cut myself off, I couldn't bring myself into saying it, "After that, that was when Carlisle found you at the morgue, and changed you?"

Esme smiled sadly, nodding, "Yes." She then looked at me, as if hopefully, "When I first woke up as a vampire, I wasn't just bloodthirsty, I was in pain and vengeful. I wanted revenge against Charles and I was in agony over my son."

Esme's eyes became conflicted as she spoke, "So when I met Edward…a boy without a mother, I don't know…it just seemed like a sign. I accepted him immediately. Maybe I was just weak and wanted a replacement. I really don't know. And when I realized that I had the opportunity to kill Charles…even though I knew it was wrong, I took the chance and got away from Carlisle long enough to slaughter my previous husband."

Every single thing that I had just learned felt like a storm of knife blades had cut into me. It was just too painful to know, just too terrible. But it had been far too painful for Esme to keep to herself.

Finally, Esme concluded, "I know this is all hard to hear. And I know that I probably sound selfish by saying that all I cared about when I first met Edward, was to fill a void in my life, and it probably doesn't make you feel any better about my feelings towards you. And I know it's disturbing to know about what I did to Charles, but Bella, I might be a vampire, but I still have human feelings. There was only so much I could do."

She was looking like she was pleading for me to understand. Desperately hoping that I knew that her feelings for me were genuine and that she would never hurt me.

God, how could I ever doubt her? How could she possibly just automatically forget about her baby boy who died and immediately recover from the trauma and just mother Edward as if nothing happened? That wasn't the way human emotions worked. Carlisle and Edward were deluded if they had thought that Esme could have loved Edward purely after that. At least not immediately anyway.

As Esme said, she might have been a vampire, but she still had the emotions of a human. And there was only so much a human could take before snapping and trying to destroy what hurt them.

Perhaps that was what happened to me when I started my cruelty towards Esme in the forest last night.

"No, Esme," I whispered, moving closer to her and I suspected that I startled her as I hugged her, arms around her neck and burying my face against her collarbone, "I don't believe that you'll hurt me. And I don't doubt that you love me. I don't blame you either for feeling that Edward was a replacement. How could you just immediately, genuinely love a strange boy that you just met after something so terrible happened?"

Esme's arms surrounded me again and this time pulled me close against her chest and she rocked me back and forth, purring contently.

I felt new tear stream down my face, and I knew that Esme felt them against her skin because she placed one of her hands against the back of my head, cradling me close, whispering once again that it was alright.

Funny, she had been telling me this a lot tonight. She was the one that was spilling me her terrible life story of how fucked up everything had been for her and yet it was _her _comforting _me_. Screwed up. Really screwed up.

I gasped out between my crying breaths, "Esme….I'm sorry…everything I've said to you, and thinking that you don't love me, I…"

"No, no," Esme breathed against me again, "Shh, don't think about it. Everything's alright now." She then pulled away from me. Only enough so that she was now looking down at me, but was still holding me. I met her gaze as she asked, "Bella, will you accept us as your family? And me? Edward won't have anything to do with this decision. None of the family will. This is just between you and me. Will you let me make you into a vampire?"

Almost before Esme even finished that question I felt a smile take my face. How could she even ask that? Of course. How could I have treated Esme, _my_ Esme like I had been for the past two days? I loved her. I had just been too angry to admit it.

I buried my face back into my mother's neck. "Yes, Esme. I'll be your daughter. I want you to turn me into a vampire, momma."

I can't begin to describe the sounds that I heard Esme making after I said that. It sounded like a cross between a growl and a purr, and it sounded almost like the way a delighted animal would sound. I knew, as a human, I should have been unsettled by the sound, but then again, considering what Esme wanted for me, I suspect any normal human, any human besides me would be afraid, but I wasn't any normal human. And who, with half a brain cell, while knowing what Esme was really like, could truly become afraid of her?

I knew that staying like this for a while was what we both wanted, but I knew that we needed to be logical about this and come up with a plan. "Esme?" I asked in the vampire's arms, "I hate bringing this up, but how are we going to plan this? We can't let the wolves know what's going on, they won't allow it. And I guess my death needs to be faked so that Charlie and Renee won't come looking for me."

I felt Esme nod against me after a moment. "You're right," She growled, her happiness temporarily put on hold, "I suppose, yes, a faked death might be proper. Though, no matter how little I care about Renee," Esme sneered out Renee's name and I couldn't help but smile at her repulsion for my biological mother, "I don't like to think about your father, Charlie being in that much pain."

I flinched now. She was right. Renee might deserve losing me, but Charlie sure didn't. He might not know how to properly parent me, but he certainly tried hell of a lot harder than Renee ever did. And there was no contest between the two of them on which one of them I loved more.

"As for the wolves," Esme added, her voice becoming an even deeper, threatening growl, "I know that some of them are your friends, but if they get in the way…I'll kill them."

I stiffened. Okay, forget that part before about Esme being incapable of being feared. No, she had a dark side alright, and it quite obviously came out when someone tried to keep one of her cubs away from her.

But in the end, I knew that it was inevitable. There was a side I needed to choose and I chose the vampires. I chose Esme. I could stomach seeing the wolves die, I could stomach seeing Jacob's horror when he saw that I had been turned into a vampire. The wolves meant nothing to me in comparison.

But of course, we still needed a plan. And that still left Charlie.

A thought occurred to me and I wondered if I was going too far with this request.

"Esme?" I asked again, "I don't want to hurt Charlie. I don't know if he'll have anything left when I'm gone." I hesitated, not sure how to phrase this, "Charlie…can he come with us?" There I had said it, now I was going to see what kind of idiot I was for suggesting it.

I felt Esme suddenly go still. "You want Charlie to be changed into a vampire along with you?" She asked, a little startled, but there was an edge in her voice that hinted that she had been expecting this.

"Well," She sighed after a moment, "Having him along will be difficult. But I suspect that it will be a very long time before you, if ever, see Carlisle as your father. I suspect you will always see Charlie as your father. I suppose if the two of you are separated, it will bring the both of you pain. I know that without the rest of the family's consent I can change you on my own and faking your death will be easy enough, but doing that for both of you….this might take time. And I might have to speak with one of the others to figure this part out. In the meantime, don't let anyone know what's happening, the less people know, the less possibility exists that Edward, Rosalie or the wolves can interfere."

Now that, I definitely agreed with. There were enough difficulties with this as it was.

Finally, we had to part from each other. Now out of Esme's arms I faced her and she said gently, "But perhaps you could make this less complicated if you spoke to Alice."

I stopped my thoughts and wondered about that. Alice again. What was up with that?

"Okay," I grumbled, "I give. What the hell is up with Alice?"

Esme smirked, "Now that, Bella," she said slyly, "Unlike being between you and myself, concerns only you and Alice. Just talk to her, she'll tell you."

I narrowed my eyes at her smirk. "As cryptic as always I see," I said dryly, "Back to secrecy, huh?" However, when I said it, I found myself smiling at her.

She grinned back at me and got to the window. She said when she was at the window, "Bella, talk to Alice. You might be surprised. And maybe it will be good for you. I should go now, make sure that Edward isn't going to come and invade your privacy like always." My smile widened as I nodded, grateful.

Esme continued, "We'll figure out what to do about Charlie, Bella. Promise. The wolves too. But for now, just get some sleep, alright honey?"

My heart warmed at the endearing title and I answered, "Alright…mom."

Esme stared at me, smile widening, eyes becoming completely adoring. Before she could turn back to the window, I added, "Mom?"

She looked at me. I said slowly, feeling that this was an awkward thing to say after she gave me this huge secret for me to keep, "Thank you….for telling me about this. Thank you for trusting me."

Esme's eyelids lowered and her gaze remained endearing. "Your willingness to listen to me, and let me back into your heart is more than a treasure enough, daughter." She stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I stared, completely shocked at her answer and just watched as she pushed the window open and flitted out in less than two seconds.

I walked over slowly, reaching up and closing the window.

I knew that I had just made the decision that would change my existence forever. I was giving up my humanity willingly. I was allowing myself to be a vampire's daughter forever. I was going to become the daughter of a creature that had admitted not that long ago to crushing a man's spine as she killed him. And the craziest part? I couldn't ever have been happier.

**Author's Note:**

**Well, that's the next installment. Sorry if there was a lot of repeated phrases and words, still have yet to use the full use of a Thesaurus, lol. But I hoped you all liked it. And for anyone that doesn't know, in case anyone's interested, the idea that Esme sees her children as "the stars in her sky" actually originally did not come from me. I got it after reading a chapter in Samwelshdragon's "Dear Esme" in case anyone wants to read it.**


	8. Jacob and The Pack

**Chapter 8: Jacob and the Pack: Bella's POV:**

I really didn't want to think about this happening. Talk about the worst thing possible happening at the worst time possible. Renee was coming over tomorrow night. Yeah, that's right, the woman who shouldn't be a mother. She's coming to Forks to see how I'm doing. Riiiiggghht.

Hey, it wasn't like I wanted her to come. Two nights ago, when Esme confessed to me all her terrible secrets; telling me of her painful history with her former human husband, Charles Evanson and her murder of him after she was turned by Carlisle, I had made up my mind and had formed a stone solid resolve that I would not shun Esme and the other Cullens, except for Carlisle and Edward from my life any longer. More than anything else, Esme deserved my love and devotion, and I had every desire to give her that. She was my rightful mother even though I didn't have even one drop of her blood or venom in my veins yet.

Yesterday had been terrible though. Even through my decision to join the Cullens and let Esme become my mother, when Jessica, Angela, the others and I had gone to La Push and I decided to say my goodbyes to Jacob and the other wolves, things had….well, gone as expected, but just hadn't gone well.

Then of course, came Renee's fantastically well timed phone call telling me that she would be coming the next day; the next day being tonight, that is.

I sighed angrily as I sat down at my computer, glaring at the glowing screen. I couldn't care less if it was hurting my eyes. My brain hurt enough as it was with everything that happened yesterday. I just sat and was in deep, chaotic thought.

**Yesterday: At La Push: Bella's POV **

I was sure that when we pulled into the rock covered, sandy parking lot of the La Push reservation, that this little visit would not end pleasantly. True, I wanted to give a more or less meaningful goodbye to Jacob, Emily and the others before I joined Esme and the other Cullens in eternity, but I knew just how tender the subject of me becoming a vampire was for them, especially for Jacob. I'd have to be very tactful about delivering this piece of news to them.

We all jumped out of Tyler's van, facing the grey, gloomy looking, endless sea up ahead. To add to the dismal appearance, the sky looked cloudy and stormy. Great, as if there wasn't a foreboding feeling enough in my gut, but the surroundings of La Push had to make me feel even more wary? Great.

Mike had already gotten a boogie board out of the van by the time I took in the discouraging sea and sky and was suiting up in one of his water leotards or something. Hell, I never pay attention to surfing or whatever. I noticed Eric doing the same. I breathed in slowly. After I became a vampire thanks to Esme, I may very well never see Mike, Eric, Angela, Tyler, Ben and Jessica again. I won't lie, they frustrated me and sometimes I suspected that they didn't even genuinely like me, except for Angela, and I sometimes wondered if I truly liked them, but they had been a part of my life for a few years now. It would be strange not having them around anymore.

Still, the major parting would be from my father. I really didn't know how I could deal with that. That was why I held so much hope when I asked Esme if we could bring Charlie along, despite how much of a shock I'm sure it was for her to hear me ask that. Unlike Renee, Charlie had actually tried to be a good father. For all his flaws of fulfilling that role, he had still put in an effort. And I loved him. It would just be too sad for me to leave him, and I'm afraid of what affect me abandoning him might have for him.

Still, I had to have my preparations of giving my departures to those that I was more or less close to and that would start with Jacob and the others at the rez.

I turned to Mike, Eric and the others and said quietly, "Hey guys? I'll join all of you soon but, I need to speak to some friends. But get the party started without me, kay?" Though I was sure Lauren would be all too eager to do just that, "I'll see you in about an hour or so."

"Oh, Bella," Lauren drawled in an obviously mocking tone, "We really wouldn't want you to go. But please, take your time." She grinned at me like the Cheshire cat.

"Don't worry," I stated dryly, feeling pity for the other girl, knowing very well that finding someone who really loved her would be no different from how difficult my situation was, "I'll be back soon."

I turned away from them and headed towards where Sam and Emily's house was. I just hoped the others were there. If not, I could always go to Billy's place to see Jacob.

I departed from my "friends" at the beach and wandered towards where I vaguely remembered the road to Emily's house was.

I sighed grimly as I walked. Lauren was truly a deluded young woman. Strange, coming from me, right? But it was true, Lauren thought that she would always come out on top. In her mind, Lauren was always going to win and she thought she was superior compared to me. But she didn't realized that the game she thought she had control of was already won. I already had a family that wanted me back, all romances aside, Lauren on the other hand, was beginning to repel even her friends.

Lauren was beautiful, thankfully, but that was really all there was about her that was appealing. Once you got past her beauty, there was really nothing to keep someone to her. She was rotten. All the way to the core. She was like one of those beautiful, exotic fruits you saw at a market, but if you cut it open and look at it on the inside, and inspect every single slice of it, you'll see the shell is the only thing that's pretty. What's within the shell on the other hand, is putrid at the core. That's basically Lauren in a nutshell.

Lauren had better pray that she never loses her beauty, or at least that she ages well, otherwise there would be nothing any longer to hold anyone, man or woman to her.

I had passed through the brush blocking the road, my thoughts clearing up as I kept walking down the road. I actually could now make out Emily and Sam's house up ahead. It looked as sickeningly sweet as always. The house was green, surrounded by a beautiful garden, a rocking chair out on the front porch. Very homey. I rolled my eyes at that. But, still, they were my friends and I needed to say goodbye to them.

I got nearer to the house's porch and I could hear the boisterous laughter of Jared, Embry and Paul all the way out here. I smirked. No matter how aggravated I could get with them, they could be endearing. I would miss them in a way. I went up and knocked on the door loudly, calling through the thick wood, "Hey, guys! It's me, Bella!"

Predictably, there were sounds of grunting and furniture clattering as I heard some of them getting up to get to the door. I smirked when I heard something Quil yell at Jared as footsteps came closer to the door. The entrance of the house opened to reveal the cheerful, smiling face of Jacob Black.

"Hey, Bella!" He yelled, almost making me jump, "How've yah been? Come in!" I smiled gratefully. I really hoped that I could speak as articulately as possible so as not to piss him off. Things were going more or less well right now, I didn't want to screw them up. However, I knew that it was inevitable.

"Hello, Jacob," I started, smiling, "It's good to see you." I nodded to the others, "All of you."

Jared, Embry, Quil and Seth all grinned at me, and Paul and Leah avoided looking at me, scowling deeply on their own, obviously resigning to having to deal with my presence. Paul didn't like me because of my relationship with the "bloodsuckers," as he called them and Leah despised me because of so many reasons that were so completely not my problem anymore. I had long since stopped caring about what she wanted.

Back when I actually gave a damn about other peoples' opinions, when I first met Leah, I had hated whenever she spoke to me, but I was too jaded by this point to be affected by her spite. It was terrible what happened to her father, Harry Clearwater, and that she and Seth were both wolves now and that she couldn't go to college, and given that I had experienced similar heartbreak, I felt for her when I learned about Sam imprinting on Emily even though he and Leah had previously been engaged. But nevertheless, her beef with me had stopped having its affect long ago.

I faced Jacob, Sam and Emily, all pleased to see me. Emily lunged in and embraced me affectionately. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Leah glowering hatefully. Once Emily and I parted, she smiled at me, her scars twisting a bit as she did. I smiled back. I would miss her. I didn't care what she looked like or about the stupid imprinting thing, that wasn't her or Sam's choice. Emily was a great friend. She was one of the rare people who, like Esme and Angela, were genuinely kind to me.

As we held each other at arms' length, I squeezed her hands and I asked in a gentle tone, "How has everyone been? Good, I hope?"

Emily chuckled, "As good as we can be." She looked over at Sam and then back at me and grinned even wider, "The wedding's in two weeks. I am hoping that you'll be there."

I tried not to flinch. I had no idea what would happen two weeks from now. Would three of the days of those two weeks consist of me writhing in agony as I transformed into a vampire? Once I joined the Cullens, would I even be able to see Emily and the wolves, outside of the battlefield where they'd see me as the enemy? I really didn't know how to answer.

I answered her the only way I could think of. Answering in a neutral way.

"I…uh….," I started, once again being unintelligible, "I might be able to, Emily. I'll try, certainly."

Emily smiled and nodded, understandingly, "Thank you, Bella," She said, hugging me tightly. God, I felt like the worst.

As I nuzzled into Emily's shoulder, I noticed Jacob, Sam and the other wolves looking at me suspiciously. Ah, crap. Did they suspect? They always were cautious when I was telling them that I'd go and see the Cullens, surely they had to be holding open the possibility that I was going to willingly become a vampire. I pushed aside the thought of the wolves' dark looks and parted from Emily, smiling back at her.

Despite my mask of happiness, Jacob must have seen through it, because he stood up suddenly and stated in a harsh, angry tone, "Bella, I need to speak with you. Outside!"

"Jacob!" Both Sam and Emily scolded for Jacob's rudeness.

"It's okay, guys," I said calmly, knowing already where Jacob's anger was coming from (he's so predictable), "Jacob and I haven't talked in a while after all. And I think we should speak." I let go of Emily's hands and nodded towards the door of the cottage, walking to it, hearing Jacob following me.

I could feel Emily and the other wolves watching me. They were nervous. Despite their caution of my relationship with the Cullens, they were worried about leaving me alone with Jacob. I didn't really blame them. I certainly had been getting really snippy these past few days but Jacob was like a bomb, he could go off at any time. That was how bad his temper was.

Once the two of us were outside and I heard Jacob violently slam the house's door shut, I turned around and faced him, unfazed by his furious look.

"What's up, Jake?" I asked wryly, not caring about his PMSing condition.

Jacob's gaze hardened at how unaffected I was. "Don't play innocent!" He spat out, "When you got here, I could smell vampire on you, so could the others. And you haven't been here in a long time. And now you don't know if you're going to see Emily at her wedding? Bella, do you think I don't know what that means? Do you think I'm stupid or something?"

I half thought about snapping back, "Do you want me to answer that?" But I kept my mouth shut on his last question. He was already pissed off, I didn't need to fuel his fire further.

"No, Jake, I don't," I answered, though I was sort of lying, "And yes, Jacob, you're right about what this all means." I then took a moment to stare him in the eyes confidently, "How exactly is this any of your business, though? If I choose to be one of them, then that's my choice, not yours. You're not going to throw your weight around and bully me into not doing what I want."

Jacob's face morphed into pure black rage and he trembled, looking ready to phase into his giant wolf form right on the spot. "Damn it, Bella!" He snarled, "You actually want to become like them? You want to be dead? You'll lose your soul when you become a vampire!"

Okay, now I really had to put a halt on myself before I rolled my eyes or something. Wow, Jacob was showing more and more resemblance to Edward by the day. Fucking hell. One Edward was bad enough, but having Jacob say the exact same things as him? God, as if I needed even further reason to leave my human life.

"Again!" I snapped, still scowling, "I don't see how this has anything to do with you. I make my own decisions. No one makes them for me, including you. So you won't stop me."

"I have every right to try to stop you from doing something suicidal!" Jacob roared, stepping closer and I immediately stepped back, not trusting him at all, "You don't know what's best for you!"

"And you do?" I asked, raising my head in defiance, "Jake, we've known each other for a long time, but you don't know me as well as you'd like to think you do. And you don't know what I really want or what's best for me. This may come as a shocker for you, but you are actually not my father."

Jacob scowled as he hissed, "Yeah, and speaking of your father, Bella, what do you think is gonna happen when you've been changed? What will happen to Charlie? Do you want to break his heart when he finds out that you died?"

I wanted to taunt him and tell him that I had already asked Esme to change Charlie into a vampire along with me, but I wisely shut up about that as well. He would be pissed off by that too.

So I just proceeded with my defense, "Charlie will be alright. He's strong," I just went along with the lie that I was going to leave Charlie behind, even though I intended quite the opposite, "And that doesn't change my decision. Using my father against me, Jacob, is pretty scummy too I might add. And don't say that it was for the best, because again, you don't get to tell me what to do."

Jacob's right fist clenched and he raised it to his chest and immediately my self preservation took hold and I wondered if I should yell for Sam or Seth to get out here. He snapped, "So let's see if I understand this, Bella! You're going to let that manipulative bastard control you?"

I froze. It took me a moment to understand what he was talking about and then another moment. Then I understood what the hell he meant. Oh, of course. Edward. I had distanced myself and my mind so far from that stuck up vampire that it had completely taken me by surprise to hear someone suggest that I was becoming a vampire for someone like _him_. True, I had once. Now though, it seemed laughable. Of course, that wasn't the only thing that was hilarious that Jacob had said.

And I decided to let him know that as I burst out laughing, "Excuse me, manipulative? Let's rewind to something you did not that long ago, Jake ole' buddy," I moved forwards, this time forgetting about my safety, eyes trying to pierce his, "Wasn't it you that put my motorcycle out in front of my and Charlie's garage so that Charlie would know about me using a motorcycle?" I could tell that the mention of that old incident startled him.

I continued, taking advantage of his surprise, "You deliberately showed Charlie my motorcycle so as to make him realize the danger I was putting myself in. You did it to make sure that Charlie wouldn't let me see Edward anymore. You did it to manipulate and control me, so who should I see as controlling and abusive, hmm?"

I stepped back to look at the wolf and process the impact my words had on him. I could see the shock and yes, even a little guilt form on his face and in his eyes.

"That was…that was….," I could tell that he was grabbing for excuses as his eyes darted around the ground, panicking, "I just didn't want you to get hurt by Edward. I was protecting you. And from the rest of them. They're dangerous, Bella. If they ever lose control of their bloodlust, you're dead and I won't be able to help you."

My aggravation had now reached near limit. Dear god, he actually felt like he had to _tell_ me that vampires were dangerous? Oh boy, he really thought I was stupid wasn't he. Unfortunately for him, I had something that could easily rebuke him in a heartbeat.

"Yes, Jacob," I sneered, "Vampires are dangerous. I never would have realized that if it weren't for you telling me that, thank you so much." At my words, so blatantly sarcastic, Jacob narrowed his eyes, but I just kept speaking, "But you seem to be forgetting something. You're dangerous too. Wolves are dangerous." I saw Jacob's face become confused now and he was again becoming shocked at my claims.

I decided to explain, to take pity, (or maybe not to take pity?) "You wolves have the worst temper. I mean, look at what happened to Emily when Sam lost control of his temper." I knew what I was saying was terrible. I liked Emily. I didn't want to use her against someone as controlling and stupid as Jacob, but it seemed that he was leaving me little choice. My words clearly had the effect that I had intended them to have, as Jacob actually backed away at them. His eyes were full of worry and disturbance.

I said, my voice more controlled now, "You wolves lose control of your anger right on the fly. If I'm not careful when you're around, Jacob, and you snap," I snapped my right set of fingers in front of Jake's face for emphasize, "Or do you think it's more merciful for you guys just to lose your temper and scratch your girlfriends' faces up rather than one of the Cullens losing control of their bloodlust and killing me? Funny, Jacob, I didn't know that maiming was such a small thing. But I guess we can just excuse it and blame it on temper tantrums."

Jacob's body tensed up, but he was seething. He grit his teeth, and his face looked like it was a stone mask becoming uglier and uglier by the second. His breath heaved and for a moment, I really thought that I'd end up like Emily; the side of my face or maybe my whole face scarred up and mangled.

But I pushed on. I meant what I said, I wasn't going to let Jacob or any of the wolves bully me anymore. I snapped, "Go ahead, Jake! Show me that your temper is so much better than the Cullens' bloodlust. Show me that you losing control of your anger is excusable and that you're such a better person than the Cullens for just having anger issues instead of suffering from instincts to drink blood. Come on, Jacob, bring it on! Let Sam hear me scream, like he heard Emily scream."

I knew that that last comment was out of line. Way out of line, but I felt it to be necessary. Jacob knew the truth. He knew that he was just as dangerous as any vampire, given his strength and that he was a wolf and that he had temper problems like the rest of them. He knew that, but he had this self-righteous attitude about him, as if he was different, better even. He was not, and I was going to make that clear to him.

"You're a beast, Jacob," I snapped, voice even harsher now, "Just like the Cullens. The only difference between you and them is that they admit that they have weaknesses. They admit that they have bloodlust and might lose control. They admit that they might become dangerous if I so much as prick my finger and drip some blood, but you can't get off your soap box and admit that you're dangerous because of your anger, even though you're just as dangerous as they are, just for different reasons."

Now Jacob looked almost scared. It was like the truth that he had tried so hard to deny and escape from was now coming back to hit him right in the face so that he couldn't look away from it anymore. He wanted to think that he and the other wolves were superior, but they were dangerous too, and he knew it, but he had been running from that reality for so long, that now having me tell it to him so bluntly made him the terrified little pup that he truly was. Ugh, how had I ever been attracted to this immature little boy? Even if it was only for a few months.

Edward, Jacob, just stupid little boys who didn't have any idea what the real world was like.

Why exactly had I once desired them? A mystery to me.

Just when I was sure that Jacob would phase and either maim or kill me, he, I suspect terrified that he'd do just that and prove that I was right that he was dangerous, turned his heel and ran off into the forest. The last thing I saw before he disappeared was him looking over his shoulder and screaming at me, "You fucking bitch!"

I scowled at his disappearing form. So, he was so distraught to hear that he was indeed a beast like the Cullens that he was going to be that immature? Figures. I was through with that little baby of a man. He could go back to his father, Billy and ask for his diapers, I wouldn't stop him.

I glanced at the house that had seemed strangely quiet. I wondered if the wolves had heard everything. I knew it was time for me to leave. I knew I had gone way too far by saying what I had about Emily and Sam, but it was done. There was nothing I could do to undo it. But I knew after speaking like that, I had no right to be here while Sam and Emily were here. I debated to myself whether I should go inside and say goodbye to the others or not.

If they hadn't heard our rather loud argument just now, then they certainly would find it weird that not only had Jacob disappeared, but that I hadn't even come in to say goodbye.

I made up my mind and decided that since I was more than likely never going to see Emily and the others ever again, I might as well take what I could get and give them a farewell. I walked over to the house and onto the porch. Anticipation running through me in intense heat at what looks I might be getting from the others, I slowly wrapped my hand around the doorknob and opened the door.

Once the door was fully opened and I was met with the gazes of several angry wolves. Emily was looking worriedly between me and them, but she just seemed confused and I realized that though the wolves had heard me because of their hearing, Emily was human so she didn't hear. I almost sighed in relief. Thank goodness. I never wanted her to hear what I had said about her. And about her beloved fiancé.

The others, on the other hand…. I stared at the fiery looks of all four Paul, Leah, Sam and Jared.

"What?" I snapped, my self-defense rising in me before my common sense could, "You're pissed about Jacob? Or about what I said? Well it's true. You guys have anger issues and you're dangerous. I was just telling Jacob how it is. It's not my fault he couldn't take it."

"You'd actually compare us to those leeches?" Leah hissed, standing up, growling, and looking ready to pounce, "I'm not just going to stand here and take your self-absorbed bullshit."

"Yes, thank you, Leah," I said dismissively, not caring to get into a tiff here, "Since I'm sure everyone wants to kill me now, I think it's best that I just say goodbye and leave it at that."

I looked over at Emily and Seth, both bore pained expressions on their faces, except there was confusion with Emily's pain and not on Seth. That was for the best of course. The less Emily knew, the better.

I walked over to the two of them, ignoring the growls I was hearing from Paul and Leah or the angered look from Sam. I came up to Emily and placed a hand on the scarred side of her face. "Emily," I started, voice gentle, "It's been wonderful knowing you. Thank you so much for your kindness. Sam and everyone else are lucky to have you," I turned to the wolves to prove my point, give them all dangerous looks and then narrowing my eyes once they landed on Sam. Sam must have seen something that he didn't like, because he tensed up. I then looked back at Emily and hugged her tightly.

"Emily," I whispered into her ear as I hugged her, "I'm happy I got to know you. I'll miss you."

I pulled away from her and smiled sadly at her stunned and lost look. I then whirled and faced Seth. "Seth," I started, stepping closer to the sweet boy, "You're such a good boy, you know that? When you imprint, I know it will be on the kindest woman that ever existed." I knew how corny that sounded, but it was true. Seth deserved the best.

I watched as tears started to well in the young wolf's eyes. "Bella," He whimpered, "Don't go."

I held back my own tears. Seth had been like the little brother I always wanted. I would miss him greatly. "I'm sorry, Seth," I said in an affectionate tone. I got close, leaned upwards and kissed the taller boy's forehead, holding his head in my hands tenderly.

Seth brought his hands up and touched mine gently, his tears now running freely down his face as I pulled away, smiling at him.

"You're a strong man, Seth," I said, "You'll be okay."

I moved my hands from Seth's grasp and walked away from the two mournful Quileutes and walked slowly towards Sam. I don't know why, but I found myself feeling very intimidating. Maybe it was the worried look in Sam's eyes as I got close to him, or maybe I just felt good after chewing out Jacob, but either way, it felt nice.

"Sam," I started, when I was eye to eye with the Quileute pack leader, "I'll give you this one warning and this one warning alone. I know Emily's injuries was a loss of your control over your anger, but I'm telling you now, it will not happen again," The ending of that sentence was so dark and hard that I couldn't believe it. I noticed that Sam actually looked unnerved when he heard it.

I continued with my threat, "I trust you to never do it again, but I plan to come back in a few years….after my….adjustment," I worded it carefully, but Sam must have understood because he started growling, "And when I come back, I better not see a mark on Emily. You will never harm Emily, or there will be war."

I looked over everyone in the room, save for Emily herself and Seth. I stared at them all and I smirked as I watched all of them looking tense, as if they were actually afraid. Damn, that felt good. I turned towards the door and started walking to it. When I got to the door, I looked back over at Seth and Emily, both looking upset, still. I smiled once more at them before opening the door and walking out.

My feet hit the grass outside and I looked around to see if Jacob was nearby. He wasn't. Too bad. This was his last chance to give me a pleasant goodbye. I walked away from the house, feeling tears starting to form as I thought of never seeing Emily, Seth, Jacob, Embry and Quil ever again. I wiped them away with the back of my hand. It was for the best. I didn't fit in their world. I belonged in Esme, Alice and Emmett's world, not theirs. But I would miss them, nonetheless. I smiled though. But I had never felt more free and resolved in my life. My decision was in my hands, not Jacob's and not Edward's. And if I ever found out that Sam hurt Emily again in a few years when I came back to check, I'd take his head off.

For once, it felt like I was doing something good. However, just when I felt all of my happiness take me, I suddenly remembered that Renee told me that she was going to come over to see me. I stopped in my tracks when I remembered that.

"Ah, shit." I grumbled. Damn it, I never got a break, did I?

**The Next Day: Bella's House: Bella's POV:**

And so now, this led me back to the difficult situation I was in right now, staring at my computer screen and trying to think of how i was going to deal with Renee coming here. Hell, what was I going to do?

**Author's Note:**

**Yes, I figured that I needed to have Bella say goodbye to the wolves and resolve everything with Jacob before anything else. And as for the whole Renee thing, I have the reviewer VeronicaLukes to thank for that ingeniously evil plot bunny! Thank you for the idea!**


	9. Renee

**Chapter 9: Renee: Bella's POV:**

Well, I hate saying that this day couldn't get any worse, but you know, just how could the day get any worse? I had already pissed off several of the wolves yesterday and today Renee, my joke of a mother was coming over. She told me over the phone that she was coming to see me and that…oh, boy this wouldn't end well….that she wanted me to come back with her to Phoenix.

Now, I think it's only natural that with the type of mother Renee is, I'd have some issues with that already, but I can just imagine how the Cullens will react if they find out. Worse, how Esme will react if she finds out. I'm not sure whether I'd have to be worried about her wellbeing, or Renee's. I knew how much Esme disliked Renee.

So this leads me to where I'm sitting, at the desk in class, stewing in my depression and frustration and anger problems. Great, just great. Problem was, I already had anger issues when it came to the Cullens and especially to Esme, I didn't need Renee fueling the fire of my rage. Then again, she always had pretty bad timing, didn't she?

I had a pencil in my hand and I felt about ready to break it. Hmm, maybe I was starting to form a penchant for destroying pencils when I got pissed. When our professor dismissed us, I tried not to storm right out of the classroom into the hallway, though given the speed I was out of class and into the hall, I suspect I failed in regards to my restraint.

As I got to one of the school's stairwells, deciding to stew in my thoughts a bit more in the school's lounge before going to my next class, I felt a freezing cold hand on my right shoulder. I stopped and I growled in annoyance. Ah, that was how this day could get worse. I had to run into one of _them_, didn't I?

Who was it then? Rose? Emmett? Alice? I turned around, scowling. Well, it seemed I got the third guess right. Alice was standing in front of me, smiling gently and there was a soft, caring look in her golden eyes.

"What is it, Alice?" I grumbled, though I already suspected what it was. She knew about Renee, didn't she?

"I saw the phone call that you got from Renee," Alice said, voice completely at peace, though her eyes said otherwise, "I know very well that you have no intention of returning with her, correct?"

I rolled my eyes, snatching myself out of her grasp. "You even have to ask, Alice?" I snapped, "She was no mother to me for years. I'd hardly be interested in staying with her now. The very reason why I left her and Phil in the first place when I first came back to Forks was so that I could get away from her. I just gave her the excuse that I wanted to give her and Phil some alone time."

I knew that she already knew this, so I wasn't sure why I was simply recycling this information.

Alice answered me, nodding, and making my suspicion confirmed, "I know that, I'm afraid. I'm sorry, I didn't want to invade, but I've seen a great deal about you, Bella. I saw that you wanted to leave Renee even before you came here. By the age of twelve you wanted to get away from her." I felt my whole body stiffen. Okay, that I was not expecting.

"What?" I asked, really not able to think of anything else. I stared at her, eyes narrowed as I tried to think of what she was talking about and how she knew about that and why it concerned her so much.

Alice sighed, lowering her head as if in apology and I wondered what she looked so ashamed of. She picked her head up after a few seconds and stared at me, eyes guilty as she breathed, "Bella, I am sorry, I don't mean to look as I said, but I wasn't able to stop it when I first saw you. The vision of you just came and all the other visions of you continue to pop into my mind."

I was startled. She had that many visions of me? Was this part of what Esme had been telling me to talk to her about last night?

"Hey, it's alright," I said reassuringly. There were many things I could begrudge Alice for; her seeing visions of me unintentionally was not one of them. I added, "You couldn't help it like you said. It's fine. That's what visions do, I guess."

Alice actually flinched as she stated, "You don't understand, Bella. Because I've never told you, you don't know. I didn't tell you because I thought at the time that you were happy with Edward."

Now that caught my attention. What hadn't she told me because of Edward? I think I let my curiosity get the better of me as I stepped forwards suddenly and stared at Alice, trying to get some kind of answer of what she was talking about.

Seeing my look and my actions, Alice smiled a little, though the sadness was still there. She started, "I know I've told you that when I first became a vampire, that the first two visions I saw were of Jasper and of my victims. I lied."

I didn't say anything, but I nodded, understanding. Being turned into a vampire could be a traumatic thing and it was very personal to tell other people about what happened directly afterwards. It was understandable that she would lie and not want to talk about it.

Alice noticed my accepting look and sighed again, "No, Bella, I'm afraid I lied about something that was about you. Ever since I first became a vampire, I've had visions of you. In fact, you were the very first thing I saw when I awoke from my sleep and was a vampire."

Now my attention was one hundred percent caught and incapable of escaping. What. The. Hell. Exactly. Was. Alice. Talking. About?

"Alice?" I asked; all confusion and interest displayed for her to see.

The vampire slumped her shoulders, almost looking defeated, and her head was lowered as if ashamed of something. I almost didn't hear her whisper, "Bella, the reason why I've seen so many visions of you, especially when I first became a vampire, is because I'm in love with you. I'm the one you're meant to be with, not Edward."

I was almost sure I didn't hear that. But I knew I did. And I didn't move. I didn't even budge. I tried to think of what I wanted to say, but I just couldn't. What the hell was I supposed to say to that? What, just what? How had that happened? Why the fuck hadn't Alice told me about this? Her keeping secrets about herself was one thing, but keeping secrets about me was another. That was just….

Alice wasn't even looking at me, but she answered all my questions, "I know. I know that what I'm saying is a lot for you to take, Bella. I'd never want you to feel pressured or anything like that. But ever since the time of my transformation, parts of your life were the most frequent things I saw. I wanted to tell you that you were meant to be my mate and not Edward's. It's just…I thought that you were really in love when you were with him, so I didn't want to ruin your happiness."

I'm sure that I was missing my class, and to be honest, I could barely pay attention to that fact at all.

"Alice….," I found myself mumbling, "I don't….are you sure of this? I mean, are you sure of me being your….I don't know how to deal with this."

It was a tactless confession, but it was the truth. Alice hadn't been kidding when she told me that it was a lot for me to take. I was meant to be Alice's mate, not Edward's? She had known this whole time? And she had seen me for almost a century and fifty years now in her visions even before I was born? Well, hell yeah, I had a right to be a little pissed that she didn't tell me this sooner.

Luckily, I found my anger again and martialed my snide remarks, getting them ready. I knew why Alice hadn't told me, after all she just explained. Still, why hadn't she told me after she, Edward and the others abandoned me and then came back?

"You didn't want to ruin my happiness?" I asked, voice cold, "Well that certainly turned out well, didn't it?" And yet again, I saw my ability to hurt vampires had no end as I watched Alice flinch at my tone. Or maybe at what I said. Now I was the one that felt guilty and I stepped even closer, placing my hand on her cool shoulder. Alice picked her head up and looked at me with hurt yet hopeful, shining gold eyes.

"Alice," I said, "I'm sorry. It's just, how the hell am I supposed to react to that? Alice, I know what you said just now was that you didn't tell me before because of Edward, but why didn't you tell me before now? I mean, you know that Edward and my so called relationship had fallen to pieces, why didn't you mention this when we saw each other the other day in class?"

Alice smiled as she answered, "Well, you didn't exactly seem open minded about it, to say the least." Alice forced out, "And you didn't seem open to being around any of us, actually."

"Yeah?" I asked, aggravated, "Well that's because I had some pretty good reasons. Look, I'm sorry, okay? It's just….I don't know how to comprehend all of this. I just got out of a relationship with Edward, so I think I need to recover from that alone. It's just…I don't know how to deal with this, Alice."

The small, pixie vampire nodded, smiling sadly. "I won't pressure you, as I said," She answered, "I'll wait as long as it takes for you to make your decision. And even if you never decide to give me a chance, I'll never stop loving you."

I released Alice's shoulder and stepped backwards. What was I supposed to say to that? Ugh, why did the "good ones," always have the best romantic lines?

I stared at her eyes as she watched me in my uncertainty. I really had no idea what to do here. "Alice," I said, suddenly grateful that I remembered I had a class, "I'm gonna be real late for class. So I'll see you later on today, alright? I'll….I'll think about it."

Alice nodded, her face blank as I bolted up the stairs, trying to settle the racing thoughts in my brain.

The whole entire class that I was sitting through, which I was indeed late for, was a pain in the ass. Now my mind was completely using every single thought process to ponder what Alice said downstairs half an hour ago. This whole time, Alice had loved me? And for her whole one hundred and fifty years she had loved me? What about Jasper? Had he meant nothing?

I cared about Alice, though it was going to take a while for me to admit it to her, but the thought that she was just using Jasper for a few decades angered me something fierce. I forgave Jasper long before I had forgiven any of the others and he was like my brother. Him being used made me sick. If Alice was just using him, she was going to be in deep shit. On the other hand, if their relationship was more complicated than that, I think I'd at least listen. Considering all I had gone through these past few days, I think I could hold my mind open.

When the bell rung finally, I got up, still wondering what the hell I was going to do with all this. Not to mention the fact remained that Renee was still coming over today. Oh, joy.

School was over for the day, thank god and I was walking out into the parking lot. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see, just like before that the Cullens were all standing by their respective vehicles and watching me, like before as well. As usual, I didn't like how they looked at me. It was unsettling at times.

I of course, understood now why Alice and Jasper would be watching me so much, still, having Emmett and Rose do it along with them creeped me out.

While I was searching around in my pocket for my truck's keys, my fingers brushed against my phone and I was reminded of the call that Renee had given me that put me in this mood to begin with. Right, Renee. Touching the phone, I half thought about whispering to Alice and the others to tell Esme about Renee's call, while taking the phone out and pretending to talk on it so as not to attract attention to myself. But I halted that idea immediately. There was already drama caused by me, I didn't need Esme to join in.

I reached my keys, pulled them out, unlocked the door and hopped inside, starting the engine. I stared out of the windshield, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rose's faces all in my view as they watched me. Like I said; creepy.

I started the truck up and circled out of the parking lot onto the road, leaving the school for what felt like the millionth time in a row these past few days. As I drove to my house, I tried to think of what the scenario would be when Renee came to Charlie and my house. She told me that she wanted me to come back with her. Back "home," even though for me, it hadn't been really home for years now. This was Renee we were talking about so I was going to go and guess that her "home" for me would be as warm as a freaking icicle.

When I got home, I saw that Charlie's car wasn't there yet. I rolled my eyes. Well, it would just be me moping again, wouldn't it?

When I got into the house, I considered not calling Charlie to tell him I was home for a few seconds before giving into my better instincts and calling him at where I assumed he was, which I thought was the station, from the house phone. I waited and after three tedious rings, I heard someone pick up.

"Hello?" I heard Charlie's gruff voice on the other line. I grinned. "Hey, Charlie!"

When Charlie recognized my voice, he said, more lightheartedly, "Hey, kiddo! Good to hear from you. You alright?"

"Yeah, Charlie," I answered, deciding I wanted to discuss Renee at that moment, "I'm good. Listen, Charlie, you got a call from Renee too, right?"

There was a pause, and I wasn't sure if I should have brought Renee up. I knew their relationship was almost as bad as hers and mine. Finally I heard, "Yeah, I did. She….she wants you to come back with her to Phoenix." I could hear the worry and even underlying fear in his voice as he spoke. I wasn't with him of course, but I was betting that he had pain and panic in his eyes.

I knew immediately what the problem was. He was scared that I'd leave him and go back to be with Renee. I smiled sadly. Poor Charlie always was afraid of that. I had the exact opposite idea, actually.

"No, Charlie," I reassured, "No, I'm not going to go back with Renee. I'm much happier here and being with you." Even though a great deal of why I had been happy here this whole time had been because of the Cullens and the wolves, I was telling the truth when I told Charlie that I was happier with him than with Renee.

'Oh, okay." Charlie breathed out, voice becoming lighter with relief, 'That's good."

I smiled, happy that Charlie wasn't so pained anymore. "Are you going to be home for dinner soon?" I asked, wondering if I should start making his food sooner rather than later.

I heard Charlie sigh, seeming regretful, "I've been asked to be held back for a little while. I'll see you at least at 8:00 or something." I nodded, though knew that of course he couldn't see me. "Got it, Charlie." I answered, "I'll be seeing you later then." I then thought of something before Charlie could hang up and I asked, thinking about my deal with Esme, "Charlie?"

I heard Charlie pay more attention as he sounded like he was coming back to the phone, "Yeah, Bella?"

I hesitated. I didn't want to hint at anything too ominous. And it _was_ ominous, considering that it involved plotting to make my father into a vampire along with me. "Charlie," I started, "What if you and I went away, far away. Where it was us and no one else." Okay, I lied. There would be others besides Charlie and I…like Esme, Alice and the others, but this was theoretical.

There was no answer and I could hardly blame Charlie. What was he supposed to say to a question as odd as that?

"Bella…," Charlie started, his voice holding a clear hint of confusion, "I don't know what you're talking about." He waited for me to elaborate, but I really couldn't give him further answers unless I wanted him to think I was nuts, given that I'd be telling him the truth about vampires.

When Charlie finally spoke, he sounded suspicious, understandably, "Bella, to be honest….I'd love it if you and I could just be with each other. Billy, Harry, Quil Sr., they're all my buds, but next to you, I'd give them up." He hesitated and it sounded like he was about to say something that was very hard for him to say, "You're my baby girl."

His last words made my heart swell. I tried to push away the need to cry in happiness. Despite all the insanity that I had gone through, I had a wonderful mother in Esme. She would protect and love me for eternity and if all went well, then Charlie, a father who would love me forever as well would join us.

Then my thoughts traveled to Alice. I stopped thinking about the fact that Charlie was still on the phone and waiting for a response as I thought that maybe, just maybe, if I gave Alice a chance, then I could have romantic love in my life as well as two loving parents.

My thoughts were cut off when I heard Charlie ask worriedly over the phone, "Bella?"

I snapped out of it and said shakily, "Thank you…thanks, Charlie. Really, I'd do the same for you. Now can I ask you a very important question?" I made sure that I had a very important and arrogant tone in my voice as I asked that.

Charlie sounded startled. "Um, sure." He said, voice full of bewilderment.

I smirked as I said jokingly through the phone, "When you do get home, what do you want for dinner?"

There was another pause, and then Charlie laughed. My smile widened. Charlie laughing was a rare sound to hear, but it was there nonetheless. I was happy to hear it. Charlie was always so down in the dumps over Renee and losing me years ago when I had just been born when Renee took me. I sympathized completely, knowing that he was afraid that Renee would take me away from him again.

"Very funny, kiddo," Charlie chuckled, "I guess I'd have pizza, but I know you won't allow it. So whatever has meat in it that you can cook up."

I laughed a little, "Okay, Charlie. I'll do just that. See you at 8 I guess."

"See you, kiddo." Charlie ended, his voice humored but still a little worried as I hung up. I flinched at the thought. I hated thinking that he was in pain over me. I sighed, parting my hand from the phone on the wall. As I headed towards the fridge to find some ingredients to mix Charlie's leftover pork to mix in with, I heard my cell phone ring in my pocket. I almost jumped at that, but reached for it, flipping it open. I recognized the number on the phone. It was from the Cullen home.

I braced myself, anticipation running strong within me. But I answered anyway.

"Hello?" I asked against my cell. "Hello, Bella," I heard Esme's gentle voice. I froze. Ah hell, hadn't my day been tiring enough without added drama? Yeah, hadn't I already mentioned that? But no, prayers were not answered here.

"Hey, Esme." I answered, trying to keep the glumness out of my voice unsuccessfully.

"Bella," The vampire mother began to speak calmly, "Do not get angry at Alice, because I know you will." As soon as Esme said Alice's name, I froze. What did that annoying pixie vampire want with me now? I listened in as Esme continued, "Alice felt like she had to tell me so that I could interfere. But I will do as you ask. Would you or would you not like me to be there tonight when Renee comes to you and tries to bring you with her to Phoenix?"

My hand tightened on my cell phone. Yeah, okay, _now_ I _really _wanted to be angry at Alice. Alice had no right to be spreading my business like a gossiping hen. I glared at the phone for a second, before digressing. Nonetheless, I was grateful for Esme calling me and offering me her comfort.

I put the phone next to my ear. "Esme," I whispered, "Esme, I don't want you to get involved. I don't want you to have to see me in my most distressed state. And trust me, I'm gonna be pissed when I see Renee again. And you've seen me like that enough. I don't think you want to see it again."

There was no noise at first on the other end of the line; that was till Esme's next words came out, "Renee is no mother of yours, Bella. She hasn't even tried to be a mother, let alone a good mother. She won't try to be good to you. She thinks that what she does will be good for you, but she's a joke of a mother. Her inability to take responsibility…..will ruin you. She can't really love you."

I was taken aback at this comment. I had already made the decision to never return to Renee, but Esme's impassioned speech almost made me want to beg her to stop me from even thinking about going with the human woman who was my birth mother.

"Esme…," I whispered, at first really not sure what could or would come out of my mouth, "I haven't…I'm not going to-"

"You don't have to tell me," Esme cut me off, though her voice was gentle, "I know that you've already made the choice not to reunite with Renee." I stopped my mouth from moving. Wait, then why the hell had she spoke to me like that? Why had she practically begged me not to go back with Renee when she already knew my answer? What was the point of that ?

I was guessing that Alice told Esme of every aspect of the visions she had of me, because Esme suddenly spoke, "It's alright, Bella. I know that you think I just wasted your time. And maybe I did. But I need you to hear my piece first before confronting Renee and to let you know that I'll protect you from her. If you would like me to come over when Alice sees when she's going to come over."

I stopped. Esme said all that, just to make sure I knew that she would be standing behind me and giving me her support? Fucking hell. And yet, it was once again, one of the most touching things I had heard Esme tell me.

How ever redundant Esme's words were, they had done the job. I felt better upon hearing them.

"Esme," I whispered, moved, "Thank you….and…..yeah, I would like you to come to me after Renee's here." I wasn't sure what kind of risky war I had just unintentionally let out by giving Esme permission to come in and try to stave Renee off, but I had done it, and now I just had to sit back and watch the destruction that would be unleashed.

I had opened the door for Esme, a territorial vampire that was bent on me being her vampire daughter come into the picture of this tense relationship I had with my biological mother and this confrontation would more than likely end with me barely able to keep Esme from ripping Renee's throat out.

After the lack of noise over the phone at my permission for possible bloodshed to begin, I finally heard a dark chuckle from Esme, "Thank you, Bella. Alice tells me that Renee will be there in literally three minutes. I'll go and get the car and I'll be there in at least fifteen or twenty minutes. Please do not be stressed. I'll see you very soon, daughter."

There was something chilling about that last remark. Maybe because I knew that a vampire wanted to adopt me, or maybe because I knew that I was going to be a vampire myself very soon, or maybe I was just nervous about the interaction between Esme and Renee. Either way, I could feel a panic attack approaching.

There was a click on the other line and I realized that Esme had hung up. Freaked me out enough for one night? Good as hell, man.

I was numb now. I, acting as if I was a slow paced movie or something, sluggishly closed my cell phone and walked over to the counter, slowly putting the phone onto the counter.

Ugh, first Alice was trying to convince me that she and I were "soul mates," I have to deal with my mother complex and Esme's child complex and now every last one of the Cullens knows all of my business.

"God damn vampires." I growl angrily, for once empathetic with the wolves and their hate for the vampires.

So, Renee was going to be here in three minutes? Well that was fantastic. I bolted up the stairs, bent on putting mostly everything away, until Renee got here. I didn't welcome Renee as a mother. She was many things, but she was not fit to be a mother. She was an energetic woman, capable of many sophisticated thoughts if she wanted, was very cheerful and friendly, but she shouldn't have been my mother.

By the time I was done putting everything away, I checked the clock. Two minutes since I spoke to Esme. In only a minute my nosy mother would be here. I had fixed everything in my room, but I couldn't tell if everything was out of plain sight, given I didn't even want Renee to see an inch of a potential to bug me about anything.

My hopes were destroyed when I heard the doorbell ringing. I stopped my actions and slowly turned towards the door that led downstairs. I walked down cautiously. There was nothing dangerous about Renee to say the least, (especially in comparison with my _other _mother) but the fact alone that I just was afraid of going back with her as motivation for being scared, was a pretty good one.

When I heard the doorbell ring again, I sighed and quickly went down the stairs. Time to face the music I guess. I got to the door and could see through the small, white, silky curtains that there was someone all too familiar there. Someone young, perky and pretty looking. Ah, Renee. Boy, was I not looking forward to this.

I had my mask in place within seconds and smiled, opening the door to greet her. "Bella!" She cried, opening her arms out immediately and embracing me close as she said in pure happiness that I couldn't help but assume stemmed from an illusion that she loved me, "I'm so happy to see you. I missed you so much!"

She parted from me and looked at me, smiling widely as if she just expected me to accept her request to join her in Phoenix right immediately.

I felt anger bubbling, but unlike with Esme and the rest of the Cullens, I was actually afraid to speak. This was Renee; the woman that I had grown up with. It was more along the lines that I had raised her instead of the other way around, but I felt this impending fear of speaking back to her from my time with her over the years. Hence, why I tried to remain civil.

"Mom," I said smiling, stepping back so she could cross the doorway's threshold, "Come in, please."

The spring in Renee's step when she came in was almost a bounce and I rolled my eyes as I closed the door behind her. We turned towards one another and I could see the blissful look in her eyes. She already had everything in her life that I had given her; did she really need me, myself with her in Phoenix to feel complete? Hell, even if she did, I really doubt that I'd care.

"Mom," I said, keeping up the pleasantries, "It's good to see you." I made the point of looking her up and down, "You look great. I bet the sun's been doing wonders for your skin." I gave a pleasant grin at my own irony when it came to the sunlight.

"How are things with you and Phil?" I added, desperately wanting to get this conversation over with before Esme came in and wrecked Renee to shreds.

Renee's happy appearance seemed to reach a euphoria as she answered, "Oh, we're both doing wonderfully. Phil is getting close to earning an interview with a manager and he might just get a job as a professional baseball player."

My smile widened. Well, I wouldn't deny that that was good news. Phil was a good guy and he should have a good life. Besides, with him being with Renee, at least I had the advantage in that Renee would do what Phil would want, including leaving me alone. Renee's like that. The moment she slips out of expectations or "standards," she can't get out of the box.

However, I should have seen what was coming next. Renee's good news always came with a price. Her grin widened and she laughed a little, "In any case, now that Phil has the potential to go far in life, we want you to come back with us." And there were those dreadful words forming into a malicious, repugnant question. Renee continued, not noticing my growing distress, "Have you thought at all about coming back to Phoenix, honey?"

Ugh, she had to ask me that, didn't she?

"Renee," I started, not sure where I was going to go with what I was about to say, (knowing that I was doing this too quickly, but I had to get it off my chest) "I, um….I don't think that I'm going to go with you, mom."

The joy on Renee's face fell. She looked crestfallen now and I felt my heart become pained as a result. Dammit. You'd think after all the crap she's made me feel over the years that she'd be the person I'd hate even more than Edward.

"But, Bella," Renee started in a nearly whiny tone, "we both miss you. And…it's difficult not having you around."

I bit back a snide remark. I knew that she was trying to be sweet, but I knew what she meant when she said that things were difficult for her. She meant that she wanted me to be there for her as a support beam or something. As usual, her reasons were selfish ones. To be honest, I had missed her at least a little and here she was, hoping that she could use me in a symbiotic relationship.

And I thought the Cullens were vampires, but really….

Renee continued with her act, "Why won't you come back? You were so happy before. Is it because of Edward?"

My whole body tightened because I had to stop myself from just flat out dying of laughter. Oh god, it always came back to Edward, didn't it? Everyone was still so sure that I loved him. Had I really been able to fool that many people, including myself?

"No, mom," I said, barely able to keep the chuckle out of my tone, "It's not Edward. Edward and I aren't even together anymore."

A shocked look appeared on Renee's face, but then she looked sorrowful. The key word being _looked_. But I saw the gleam in her eyes. In her mind that meant that I had no reason to stay here. Selfish bitch; what about Charlie?

"Oh Bella," She said, making her voice sound extremely genuine, "I'm so sorry, honey. But that should get you to leave. You know, find a life in Phoenix again, being happy."

I nearly groaned. Of course, she always found a way to try to get what she wanted. And if she wanted me to be with her so that she could use me and not have to "grow up" in reality, then she'd force a mask on her face to show that she was sorry for me, so as to get on my good side and get me to do what she wanted.

I could feel my temper building and I almost opened my mouth to snap, when I heard a second gentle knock on the glass of the door.

Renee stiffened. "Why would Charlie be knocking on his own door?" She asked, slowly turning around, "Unless it's Billy."

I was curious too, that is until I looked through the window of the door and saw Esme on the other side.

"Oh hell." I whispered, the words coming out on their own accord. I of course had known that Esme was coming, I just hadn't realized that she'd get here so fast.

My eyes and Esme's golden ones locked. Renee watched us, clearly clueless. Esme mouthed, "may I come in?" I nodded in response and opened the door to the house. Esme stepped through with inhuman grace, crossing between Renee and my path, blocking the two of us from each other.

I vaguely wondered in a moment of sheer twisted symbolism if that was Esme's intent; to keep me from Renee.

If this were a horror movie, and vampires obeyed the made up, stupid "rules" of human myths, then I would have just doomed myself and Renee, as vampires, in the myths anyway, can't enter without an invitation. Yeah, that's kind of a rule that's completely false. Esme just asks to be polite. Even though I suspect all she wants is to rip Renee's throat out and snatch me from my house and make me into a vampire without any regard.

I closed the door robotically as I watched Esme stand between Renee and myself. Esme focused on me and smiled and then slowly turned her head towards Renee, losing the said smile. I still watched, now becoming afraid as I saw Esme's eyes narrow in a predatory type way at my biological mother. Renee wisely stepped back as her instincts told her to.

I felt my throat tighten. Oh boy; this was pleasant.

So this was what I had idiotically caused. By letting Esme over at the same time as Renee, I had just caused a possible "battle" between my blood mother and my true mother.

I waited, and waited, wondering who would be the first to speak; my biological mother who had no right to be my mother, or a bloodthirsty monster that might as well have _been_ my biological mother?

Between finding out what Alice's true feelings were for me and all of this, I think I had a lot to deal with.

Either way, this wasn't going to end well.

**Author's Note: **

**I think the ending's kind of rushed. What do you think? If it is, sorry, I had sort of a semi-writer's block**


	10. Esme vs Renee

**Chapter 10:**

**Bella's POV:**

I stared at the scene in front of me, not sure whether to be happy or terrified that Esme was here. I loved her, but I knew her feelings towards Renee. I knew also that she wanted me as far away from Renee as possible because of that. And even worse, I knew that Esme had a dark side. She was sweet and loving to me, but she had a dark side. If what Esme told me the other night about killing her former husband, Charles was true, then Esme had a darkness that was a deadly force to be reckoned with.

Which left me fearful of what she might do to Renee to keep me as her child. Then again, knowing Renee; she'd probably just dig her hole deeper as she'd more than likely would piss Esme off with her transparent, "caring" act.

I kept my eyes on Esme and her eyes were on me as well and we just stared for a few seconds before Esme smirked, startling and worrying me as she slowly turned back to Renee, her smirk remaining on her face.

"Hello, Ms. Dwyer," Esme started, offering her freezing hand to my mother, "I am Esme Cullen. Bella might have told you about me." I could see how uneasy Renee was. She wasn't sure how to react to a woman that appeared like a human and yet….didn't.

"Hello," She said taking Esme's hand and I watched the predictable sight of my biological mother jump at the temperature of the vampire's hand. She ignored it sheepishly as she added, "Yes, Bella has told me a lot about all of you. She's very fond of you." That last statement wasn't said too happily as Renee nodded to Esme. At Renee's words, Esme turned back to me slowly, smirk widening.

"Well that is good." Esme answered cheerfully. Maybe too cheerful. Okay, it was really getting tense here.

"Hey," I spoke up more loudly than I had intended, "I think it would be good if we all sat down or something. There's a table over here we can sit at. Come on, it'll be more comfortable."

I wasn't making up anything right now. I was just so tense and nervous that I _had_ to sit down before I fainted from sheer exhaustion due to my anxiety. I turned and walked towards the kitchen table, my back turned to the two mothers, trusting that they'd follow. I heard one pair of footsteps, but not the other.

I couldn't help but assume that that was because Esme was a vampire and her footsteps were too quiet for me to hear. Either that or one of the two women decided to sit down and the other didn't want to be bothered with it.

I got to the small, white, round table, pulling up three chairs in front of it and sitting down in the end one and facing the two older women as they approached.

It seemed that my first theory about Esme's footsteps being too quiet was correct, as both Esme and Renee were coming. I was really happy that we were all going to be seated soon. I could see how Renee and Esme were glancing at each other. They were not giving each other pleasant looks.

I'm not even sure they understood what my relationship was to the other, but they just didn't like how close I was with the both of them. I scooted my chair over a little to give them room to sit down. Esme rounded the table till she was waiting at the edge of one of the chairs, moving back and letting Renee pass so that the human woman would be sitting in the chair closer to me.

I was startled that Esme wouldn't try to sit down closer to me and was actually letting Renee sit nearer to me, but I forced myself to appear neutral and unsurprised.

Renee shuffled herself behind the table and next to me, sitting in the seat close to me. Esme lowered herself till she was sitting as well and her and my eyes locked again. I had a feeling that we were both wondering the same thing as Esme and I watched each other. What was the other planning?

And for a moment, I really felt pity for Renee. All this was happening and she didn't have a clue as to what was between Esme and me. She really didn't get that she didn't stand a chance in bringing me back with her.

It was then that Esme decided to break the ice, "Ms. Dwyer, it's nice to finally meet you. Bella has also told me a great deal about you." My teeth clenched together. I could practically imagine Esme thinking, (yes, Bella's told me a lot about you. None of it is good) I restrained how unnerved I was and just listened to what Renee said next.

Renee gave a fake smile. She said, "Well, thank you. I would like to say that I'm truly, very sorry to hear about her and Edward's…..well, I'm not sure how to say this politely-"

Esme just smiled a little and gave a reassuring statement, "It's quite alright, Ms. Dwyer. I know that Bella and Edward have broken up. It is quite fine. As far as I'm concerned, it's what is best for her. Edward was no good for her at all; she deserved better."

I stiffened and saw Renee show her own display of shock. She clearly had not been expecting Edward's own damned _mother_ to say such a thing about her son. She more than likely had thought that Esme was on Edward's side. Oh, if only she knew….

Renee slowly removed the shocked look from her face and her eyes settled on Esme again as she said, her voice still shaky with confusion, "Well, it's wonderful to see that you have such a high opinion of Bella. You and your family must have become very close to her over time."

I could tell from the ending tone in her voice that Renee was made nervous by this thought. Hmm, understandable, I suppose. Why would she want to think about me being attached to another family? Too much risk that I might not do whatever she says, I guess.

The staring contest between Esme and Renee remained and I felt my blood turn cold. Ah hell; were they going to do this the whole time? I don't know if I could deal with it. My stress would break lose and I'd have….well, I don't know, the equivalent to a heart attack or something?

"Well, there's no reason why I wouldn't defend Bella. She is truly a lovely girl," Esme continued, eyes now staring coolly at Renee, "I don't know where she inherited it from."

Now that almost made me fall off my chair. Holy shit. I was not expecting such a harsh comment from Esme of all vampires. I watched as the damage was inflicted. Renee blanched and returned with a glare.

"My apologies, Mrs. Cullen," Renee said, "But I do believe that you have no right to judge me like that."

"I am not saying that I have a right to do anything," Esme said, her eyes softening, as if "backing off," "I'm just making an observation." I tried not to gulp. If that wasn't a remark that just screamed that Esme was being passive aggressive right now, I don't know what was.

Renee glared and all of my confidence was busy crawling off into the front yard or something. Either way, I wanted to gulp. This was real awkward. What exactly was I supposed to do here? I felt tense; I could almost feel sweat pouring down my neck in heat from the tension.

Renee said, voice arrogant, "Well, my apologies, Mrs. Cullen, but obviously Edward hasn't had a very good upbringing. After all, how can you explain how he and the rest of you left Bella alone like that after her birthday?"

Once again, my moods were going all over the place. I was angry again. I wanted to yell at Renee for bringing that up and I expected Esme to at least flinch or growl, however, she appeared completely calm.

"I will not lie about anything that you accuse me of," Esme breathed out in a serene voice, "Carlisle and I are responsible for Edward's behavior and so, besides Edward himself, there is no one else to blame for his actions except the two of us." She then lifted her head and her eyes hardened as she stared at Renee, "I will take more responsibility for Edward. Shouldn't you do the same, Ms. Dwyer?"

Renee's surprise was back, but she was glaring now. "I am taking responsibility!" She snapped, "Why do you think I'm trying to bring Bella back to Phoenix."

"Responsibility?" Esme sneered, rearing her head back predatorily, "Is that what you call having your daughter do everything in your house and not even offering her your services? Perhaps you are not that much different from Edward himself. You, like he, can't take responsibility."

I didn't move for what felt like an hour and neither of the older women said anything. You know that saying, "You could hear a pin drop?" Yeah, this cold silence was kind of the embodiment of that phrase.

Desperate now for at least something to make this less awkward, I decided to ask something quickly, "Um, mom?" I realized I might have made a mistake in that title considering I had two mothers in the room, "Um, would either of you like something to drink?"

Renee smiled. "Thank you Bella," She said kindly, "But no, it's alright."

Esme spoke up, eyes looking to me, holding a dangerous look as she said, "To a certain extent, yes, Bella, I would."

I had a feeling that that bordered on a threat, and my suspicions were confirmed as Esme's deadly eyes traveled to Renee, but she lost the look when Renee turned back to her so as not to scare the human further.

I grit my teeth together. Fucking hell, what was this?

I whispered in the quietest of voices, so that Renee would never hear but Esme would, "Dammit, Esme, don't do this, not here, not now, and not in front of Renee."

Esme glanced back at me with a playful look that seemed to say, "Why not?"

I nearly growled quietly at her, causing her to smirk.

Renee chose that moment for a comeback for what Esme had said earlier, "Well, if you don't think I'm a good mother," she said, glaring with a look, daring Esme to challenge her, "Then why is Bella such a "lovely girl," as you said? Where did she get it from, hmm?"

Esme was once again, not affected. She sat further back in her seat, appearing calm. "Well, I don't know," She stated with the calmest of tones, "That's what I was asking. I suspect that the only reason is because Bella practically raised herself, not you. That's the only explanation I have here."

Renee's eyes widened and the look she was giving Esme, who I could only describe as looking satisfied at the moment, was a look of complete contempt and demanding the vampire woman how she could have the audacity to say that to her.

Esme continued, "And before you bring up Edward, you're right, I should be more responsible for him. It's true, when Carlisle and I adopted him, he was already old enough to make his own decisions, but I need to have a better hold on him. But I'm trying to be responsible, which is more than what I can say for you."

"What do you think I was doing with her for seventeen years before she moved here?" Renee demanded, "I'm her mother! Do you think I was just laying back and expecting Bella to do all the work?"

Esme glanced up at me, amused and I had a very distinct feeling that we were both thinking the same thing: yes, actually, we did think that. In fact, I knew personally that that was exactly what happened my whole life before moving to Forks.

Renee startled me as she turned to me, her face signaling to me that now, like all the other times in my life, she wanted my support. "Bella," She said hopefully, "That wasn't how it was, was it? You're not tolerating what this woman is saying, are you? You know that I did take care of some things, right?"

I sighed. Yeah, some things, like money and food, but that was it. Getting up to go to school, getting food ready, tucking me into bed, and a million other things, that was all me. I took care of the important stuff, and that was looking after myself and Renee. She really hadn't done anything.

But instead of spilling a barrel of olive oil on an already lit stove, I finally just snapped, aggravated, "God damn it, you two! What is this? Battle of the mothers? Are you both only two or three years old? Do I really have to be….," Despite my good intentions, I found the words coming out against my will as I stared at Renee, "Why do I have to be the mother all the time? Will the two of you just shut up?"

I knew the last thing I said was terrible, given I said it to both my mothers, but I just couldn't deal with this anymore. The stress was finally breaking what little resolve I had left. God damn it. I lowered my head and stared at the floor, begging it to swallow me up.

I was surprised when I heard Esme say in a tone loud enough for the both of us to hear, "I'm sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have done this. I overstepped my boundaries, didn't I? I'm sorry. I'll leave." I then heard a chair being shoved back and I lifted my head to see Esme now standing with a regretful look on her face. My heart fell at the sight. I hated seeing Esme upset, no matter how cold I had been acting towards her recently.

"I'll go." She said quietly, looking hurt and walking around the table and aiming to head out the door. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Renee with a triumphant smile on her face. That alone gave me strength to speak to Esme. Mind you, it was more motivated by the desire to defy Renee than anything else, but I needed to assure Esme.

However, I spoke in a small voice so Renee wouldn't hear, "No, Esme, it's okay. I'm sorry too. I want you to stay."

Esme just gave me a sad smile and went past me. When she was at the door I stared at her back and whispered, "Esme….you're my true mother. Renee being here doesn't change that. When we want to come up with a plan to change me into a vampire, tell me."

Esme slowly turned around and gave me a gentle smile and I could tell that my words had brought her the greatest happiness in the world. She nodded and slowly walked out the door to the car outside.

Once the door was closed, Renee spoke up. "Well, she was surprisingly rude." She snapped, "And I've heard such nice things about her from Charlie. I had no idea she was so she was so disrespectful of other people.

I refrained from sneering, _"Not disrespectful towards other people, just you, Renee."_ Thankfully I restrained myself.

I turned back to her and said calmly, deciding to be at peace and not allow myself to flip out, "Renee, I meant what I said. I'm not coming with you. I'm staying here. Please just accept that."

Renee's hurt look didn't affect me anymore. I stood my ground.

"Bella," She started I could see that she was trying to use what she had learned against me, "You're not with Edward anymore and from the looks of Esme, you won't be happy here. That woman is not right for you to be around."

Anger filled me at what she said about Esme. How dare she? My teeth and fists clenched.

My anger was now out and uncontrolled. "Renee," I hissed, glaring threateningly, "Esme has been more of a mother to me than you've been for seventeen years in only two years for me. She's been here for me and is offering to be a mother for me while you failed and expected me to handle everything."

Seeing another shocked look from Renee I continued, but in a kinder tone, "Look, Renee, you've paid for me to go to school, you've bought me food and you put a roof over my head, and I _am_ grateful for that. But everything else I had to take care of, including you." Seeing Renee's confusion, I went on.

"It's true that you paid the bills, but who was it that _reminded_ you to pay those bills? And who was it that learned how to cook all on her own because you couldn't?" I said, watching her carefully.

I saw anger in her eyes as she understood what I was saying.

"Yeah," I concluded, "That's right, Renee, me. I'm the one that did that and much more. I was the one that always cooked, and I always cleaned up because you were letting our home become a pigsty. I watered the plants in our yard, I vacuumed the rugs when I was only seven, I learned how to cook when I was six, I swept the floors everyday since I was seven. You never did any work, mom." The last title came out frigid and unfeeling, as I denounced her status as my mother in front of her.

"Bella-" Renee started again, but I cut her off, "I'm not going with you, Renee. I am almost nineteen years old and legally I can go where I choose. And I choose to stay here with Esme and the other Cullens. And don't ever speak about Esme like that."

Renee's lost look made me want to look away. I had felt hoards and hoards of guilt over the coarse of this week, and I had just brought one more reason for myself to feel terrible; speaking to my biological mother in such a way was….

I shook my head; I had to get out of here. I snatched the keys to my truck from the counter and ran past Renee to get outside.

"Bella!" I heard Renee yell after me, but I didn't pay attention. I called back, "I'll be back soon. Charlie will be coming by, so you won't be alone, okay? Look sorry, alright? I just need some time alone."

I slammed both the screen door and the thick wood door shut and ran to the red pickup truck. I had my cell phone and I just wanted to call Esme and tell her that I wouldn't leave her and that I was her daughter, wanted to tell her that I didn't want anyone else to be my mother. I jumped into the truck and started it up, backing out of the driveway, bent on going down the highway to go to the Cullen home as I saw Renee come out of the house to run after me.

As I drove, I drove faster than I ever imagined possible. I knew of a clearing near the highway. It was peaceful and there were few that came to it. It was nearing nighttime now so I drove faster and put my headlights on. As I became aware that I was nearer to the spot, I gradually slowed down, recognizing some of the dark brown wooden signs even in this light that told me I was getting close. It was close to the Hoh rainforest, so not that many people came near there unless they were visiting on a hike or something. After what I think was about twenty minutes, I got there finally, parking the truck and making sure that it was in a firm, good place. I stilled the truck and turned off the engine, but kept the lights on so that no idiot wouldn't accidentally crash into me because they couldn't see me. I then fished out my cell phone, dialing Esme's phone.

I held the phone to my ear. I heard the ringing on the other side.

"Come on, Esme," I whispered into it, "pick up. Pick up!"

After a few more rings, I heard someone picking up finally.

"Hello, Bella," Came Esme's sorrowful voice, "I'm happy you called me. Even though I know I crossed several lines with you. I should know not to invade your personal space." I sighed at that. I really didn't hold anything over Esme for that. Vampires were territorial creatures and Esme, for all her gentle nature and kindness was still a dark creature of the night and was still territorial and possessive as any vampire would be of anything or anyone, including her daughter.

"It's okay," I answered, wanting her to know that she was completely forgiven. I leaned back against the truck seat as I spoke, "What you sad…whatever reason you had behind it, I forgive. You just wanted to make it clear that I was your daughter and not hers. It's a vampire thing, I get it. I'm not angry." I then smirked as I added, "And I feel the same way."

There was silence over the phone for a moment before I heard a hiss that I could have sworn sounded pleased. "That's good to know," I heard Esme growl, though not threateningly. Soon, when the time comes, Bella, I'm going to change you. You will no longer be Renee's daughter, but mine."

A shiver went down my spine. I did not miss the jealousy in Esme's voice when she said that. I hadn't missed it at all.

I rolled my eyes. Vampire jealousy could be sweet and touching sometimes, but really, hadn't we already established everything that needed to be established?

"Esme," I groaned, rolling my eyes again, "Everything is fine. Haven't we gone over this already? I don't regard Renee as my mother. I'm your daughter, Esme. You haven't even bitten me yet, and I'm still yours, not hers. I got it. We don't need to prove it further, except when you change me."

I heard a small growl and I imagine that she was nodding behind the phone.

"When Renee leaves….without me," I added, making sure Esme knew I had no intention of going with Renee, "we need to think of how to get Charlie to come with us and how to fake our deaths." I knew that this was incredibly morbid, but it had to be done if we wanted to go through with this.

There was a pause and then Esme answered, "Carlisle actually came up with an idea. One that wouldn't risk anyone's life. If we change the two of you before we fake your deaths, then there is almost no possibility that the two of you will die. We just need to get Charlie to join us."

I smiled a little. I knew that in other contexts, this would seem like the makings of a grim fairytale. A girl willingly going with a vampire to become her daughter for the rest of eternity and the same daughter tricking her own blood father into sharing the same fate. It was morbid, but I loved both Esme and Charlie so much to the point that I was willing to do it.

"Oh, and Esme?" I added quietly.

"Hmm?" Came the vampire's question.

"Thank you so much for being here for me while Renee was trying to get me to come with her." I said, smiling, "Even if I did break under the stress, it was good to have you looking out for me."

The pleased and joyful tone returned to Esme's voice as she whispered to me, "You're welcome. And thank you for letting me into your heart, little one." I felt warm moisture start to accumulate at the corners of my eyes. God damn it, did vampires always have to be so affectionate and attentive?

**Author's Note: **

**Okay, that I think was rushed. But it was the best I could come up with since I was writing at this at the same time I was writing the previous chapter. Hope everyone's liking it.**


	11. Victoria

**Chapter 16: Victoria **

**Bella's POV: **

I had stayed outside, in my pickup truck for a few minutes. I couldn't go home; not right now. I was too exhausted after the little tiff I had with not just one but _two_ of the most important women in my life. It didn't help matters that I wanted to punch Renee right through the face. I breathed out, my voice and respiratory system sounding ragged. What was I supposed to do? We had made the plan out all well and good, but what Esme had failed to instruct me on was this; just how was I supposed to transition myself from my normal, human life to the life as a vampire, with her as my mother, and Alice….that thought struck me hard. That was right. I had pushed aside my thoughts of Alice. I stared at my foggy window as I concentrated on the memories I had of the future seeing vampire. Was I really ready to welcome Alice as my mate? Could I deal with that change?

Edward and I were barely boyfriend and girlfriend. I just didn't know if I could deal with those emotions. I mean, hell, Esme was forcing me to think about my life as a daughter. Yeah, a daughter. I've never had the chance to experience that before. It was bringing all of my suppressed emotions into question. My whole life, I had been the "parent" in the relationship that I had had with Renee. I was so used to doing everything and not letting anyone else take care of anything. The only reason why Edward succeeded in getting as far as he had was because I had let my guard down around the little twerp. I hadn't seen him as that big of an emotional threat. I had known that I never loved him, even before he and the Cullens left, and as a result, I thought I was with someone worthless, who couldn't hurt me in anyway. I had been, of course, wrong, as Edward apparently had enough influence on the family, that he had managed to get everyone to abandon me.

Last time I underestimate an emo vampire.

That humorous thought brought me back to Esme. Hmm, not underestimating an emo vampire indeed. That woman had shocked me over the weeks. She wasn't one to be fucked around with, as I had found. It made me wonder, what else she hid from people. I know already that she killed her first, abusive husband, Charles, as soon as she was changed into a vampire. I shudder. No matter how used to this I should be, and no matter how much I knew that Charles deserved what he got, in spades, I still couldn't comprehend what it was specifically that Esme had done. It was too much of a shock.

Still, I guess I shouldn't have been that surprised. But it did give me good reason to wonder if I should really, indeed be afraid of the vampire that wanted so desperately to be my mother for eternity.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket, checking the time. Hmm, almost time for Charlie to come home and have dinner. I grunted, angry. The one time when I knew it really wasn't a good time to go back to the house, I'd have to go back to the freaking house. Charlie needed his dinner, and I probably had to shoe Renee and Esme out before he laid eyes on either of them. If he saw Esme, he'd be wondering what she was doing there, and Renee would bring up too many unresolved feelings and issues for him. He still hasn't been able to get over her leaving with me in a blanket in her arms, nearly the minute after I had been born.

I sighed, aggravated. No choice, I had to get the two of them out of that house before Charlie entered. I jammed the key back into my truck's panel and started up the old truck's ignition. I saw no reason to stay here. And I especially saw no reason to go back with Renee when she told me to stay with her. As I pulled the truck out of the ravine I had fixed it into, I decided at that moment, that I would look Renee in the eye and tell her to suck it. She was of no concern to me, and her desire to keep me as her "daughter," even thought she obviously wanted her "mother" back, interested me in no way. Esme was my mother. Now I had to work on letting someone else besides me take care of me. Still, were Esme and Alice alone enough?

I was so emotionally fucked up that I just didn't know if I could let anyone besides me look after things. I always had to be the grown up. Always. It was a pain. I gripped the steering wheel hard as I thought of it. I always cooked for Charlie, always cleaned for him, always made sure he had everything before work at the police station, I always made sure Renee had everything before she went off to her job, always cooked and cleaned, always even looked after the fucking bills. If it hadn't been for me, we would have been thrown out of our house eight years ago when I was only eleven. That was just how inept Renee was when it came to responsibility. It was pathetic. There were times when I wondered if I would be correct in feeling some sort of hate or resentment for her, but I know the answer to that, anyway.

Anger and resentment will do nothing. As much as I hate to admit it, I know that.

I've sure been showing a lot of both to Esme. I flinch at that. Esme doesn't deserve any of this bullshit from me. I had been acting like an asshole to Esme and the rest of the family for a while now, hadn't I?

I inhaled and approached the driveway. Both Esme and Renee's cars were still here.

God. Damn. It.

My truck made a squeaking noise as I came to a halt and parked, pulling the keys out. I grit my teeth together. I had expected this of Renee, just not Esme. What were they _both_ still doing here? Fuck. I knew Renee wouldn't hear me if I complained out here, but Esme would.

I jumped out of the truck, slamming the door behind me angrily. "You have some nerve still being here." I growled, more than aware that Esme heard me, "Why _are _you still here? Renee shouldn't be here. You shouldn't be here. Charlie's coming home soon, and I don't want him to see that I haven't just invited his estranged wife who he hasn't seen for years, and he'll probably get a heart attack over seeing, but also, Edward's mom? What explanation could I conjure up for that? Why would both you and Renee be here at the same time, glaring holes into each other? Would you like to explain that to my very alive and very _human_ father; Charlie?"

I knew the heated questions were enough for Esme. I didn't even have to ask or argue. I knew that that was more than enough initiative for a vampire to get the hell out of my house and bring the moronic human mother of mine with her. I saw the door of my house opening, and watched as Esme came through the doorway, gesturing for Renee to follow her.

I beheld the two women emerging, and felt a weird sense of satisfaction at witnessing my biological mother clueless and even afraid. Yeah; that makes me sound like a complete bitch, but that wouldn't be much different from how I've been acting lately, would it?

When they were on the porch, and the door was still wide open, between Esme's marble body and Renee's flesh and blood one, I noticed the clock on Charlie and my house's wall, and I could see its hands. Fuck, it was getting very close to when Charlie would come home.

It was the sight of the clock that made me snap at them, "Okay, out with you both. I got a call from Charlie and he's coming home real soon. I don't want him asking questions as to why you're here, Renee. He hasn't seen you for years. I can only assume any meeting he has with you is going to be either incredibly awkward, or horrible. So excuse me if I'd like the both of you to leave."

I knew I was acting like a bitch. Forgetting about blood, I felt no remorse for being so rude to Renee. However, Esme didn't deserve such disrespect.

I mumbled very quietly, knowing that Esme would hear, "Sorry, mama."

Esme tilted her head towards me and gave a satisfied grin, clearly happy that I called her that endearing title. I ignored her look though, and gestured to their individual cars. "He's going to come by in four minutes. If you drive fast, Renee, and lord knows I know that _you _drive fast, Esme, you'll get out of here before he sees either of you."

Esme nodded. She turned to Renee. "I believe, Ms. Dwyer," She started, "That it may be time for us to leave. I think there's been enough conflict tonight, and Bella shouldn't have to deal with any more than she needs to." Esme took on a look that indicated she was resigning herself to be polite, "My apologies for any ill will that I might have shown you here. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think it's time we each go our separate ways for tonight."

Renee, (like myself, I suspect,) looked stunned by Esme's "lady-like" actions and manners. It was odd to see, after taking into account that Esme had just denounced Renee an hour ago as a mother.

However, it gave me hope that things would be more or less normal for me tonight. Well, as normal as things could possibly get.

I thought there would be some peace and quiet around here, when Esme started walking down the porch steps to her car, when Renee spoke. "Leave?" She asked, voice sounding appalled, "Bella, I came all this way to see you, and I'm supposed to leave? Where can I stay? There aren't that many flights back to Phoenix still running, and even if there were, by the time I'd get to the airport, most of those flights will be cancelled." Her face took on a panicked look, "I'm not sure if you've noticed, but there aren't that many hotels or even motels. The best motel is a run down place twenty-five miles from here. Bella, I know you're angry, for some reason, but surely you can't expect me to sleep out on the streets?"

I scowled. Well, that was just typical, wasn't it? Renee was desperately hoping that I would let her stay here. Had she really come here, not planning on staying at any motel, with the calculated intention of using me and Charlie to stay here? Never minding how Charlie would take seeing a woman he once saw as his wife, who walked out on him all those years ago when I was only a baby. He still loved my biological mother. It was terrible, but he did. She didn't deserve his love, but he still talked about how he watched her leave, with me as a baby in her arms as she left.

My stomach tightened in anger when I thought about that. Renee not wanting to be with Charlie was one thing, but keeping me from him for years was completely different. Renee had taken away Charlie's only daughter, and he hadn't seen me again till I was six years old.

My anger took its toll as I snapped, "Well then, I guess that means that you should hurry into your car and drive there, because you are not staying here. Don't you get it, mom? Charlie won't be able to deal with seeing you again. He's already a nervous wreck when it comes to me, he doesn't need your added influence."

Renee's eyes widened in shock. "B-Bella!" She stuttered, "What's happened to you? Why are you doing this to me?"

I glared. God, with this woman, it was her, her and her all the time, wasn't it?! She was just as bad and as self-absorbed as Edward was. I think they both suffer from what's called "Borderline Personality." It was a mental disorder where the one who was sick, believed that every conversation in the whole world should be brought back to him or her. They thought that they were the most important person on the planet. It wasn't just being selfish and a matter of "looking out for him or herself," it was pure madness, and even psychiatrists steered clear of those that had it.

It was very tragic, really. I felt a lot of sympathy for those that possessed such an ailment, but I had no desire to let either Edward or Renee get between me and making sure Charlie's well being was in perfection. Any hint at all that my father's sanity and emotional health were going to be threatened by Renee's presence, then mother or not, there would be a literal hell to pay.

I scowled at her. Even remembering what she said just now, put a bad taste in my mouth.

"For the love of Christ, woman," I snapped, my temper flying off the handle again for the fifth time that evening, "Grow up. This isn't about you. I need my space and Charlie needs to have a life that doesn't involve someone that's going to make him miserable every second of his life. Stop making everything revolve around you. This world is not centered on you, your highness."

Renee didn't say anything for what seemed like minutes. I never wavered in glaring at her. She needed to get it through her head that she wasn't the most important thing in the world. She certainly wasn't to me.

It was in that moment, that Esme chose to speak, "Ms. Dwyer, I believe it may be wise of us to leave now. Charlie, I'm sure is getting closer, and we probably don't want to be found here, unless there are questions that we want asked."

I stiffened when she said that she was sure that Charlie was getting closer. Could she hear his car approaching?

I didn't say anything, just looked at the road, feeling panicked. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Esme looking at me quickly, and then turning back to Renee.

Esme spoke again, "Please, Renee. We don't have time for this. It will make Bella even more unhappy if you don't give her space. And Charlie's emotional state is also to be taken into consideration. What if he isn't pleased to see you here? I am sorry for painting you as the "villain," but you did take Bella when she was only a baby and left with her for six years, without letting him see his daughter."

Renee's eyes widened. She paled. She literally looked like she was about to have a heart attack. "Is this why you asked her to come here, Bella?" Renee asked, glaring at me now, appearing astounded, "Because you want me to look like the bad guy?"

I kept a firm lid on any remark I was going to launch. The only thing I thought when I heard that was, _"You don't need our help, looking like a bad guy."_ But I wisely kept my mouth shut.

"Mom," I snapped, instead wanting to clear this craziness up, "You just need to get into your car and drive to a motel and stay there until we figure this out. You have my phone number," I rolled my eyes at how obviously she did have my number, "You can call or text me if anything comes up, okay? But right now, please leave, just for a little while, okay? Please. I'd just like some time with Charlie where I don't have to worry about you wanting my attention every two little, microscopic seconds."

Renee stared at me, and I thought that I might get burned to ashes in her smoldering glare. Well, this was turning out wonderfully, wasn't it? I flinched at her scrupulous fixation on me, and said quietly, "Look, Renee, if you're going to say something, you should probably say it before Charlie comes along."

Renee looked like she was about to cry. I had always bent to her, when I had seen that side of her; or rather, her cover. But I wouldn't be fooled now. Hell, she probably even convinced herself that she was being genuine; I wouldn't be surprised. However, what needed to be done right now was to make sure that she got going, and didn't interfere with Charlie and me. The Cullens were another story, and I knew that Renee was seriously beginning to have her issues with them. But that wasn't my concern. I needed Renee to get over her immaturity, even if it was only temporarily.

I didn't waver as I stared at my mother. From my peripheral vision, I saw Esme look between us, from me to Renee, but stayed silent. I fixated gaze became an intense glare, as I spoke again, this time, more harshly, "If you had even a tiny modicum of common sense, you'd know that Charlie and I deserve some alone time, and we _need_ some alone time. Do you think you can do that for us? Or are you only going to care about your own needs, like always?"

Renee's tears started to form. "You are the most mean-spirited and ungrateful daughter," She whispered, voice sounding broken, "What did I do to deserve this? What am I going to do? You want me to drive all the way out there, at this time of night? What kind of daughter are you?"

It hurt. Renee's words hurt, but I ignored the pain.

"Apparently," I snipped, "As you just mentioned, I am the most mean-spirited and ungrateful daughter. Thank you, and goodbye."

My nonchalant remark was pushed aside, however, when Esme spoke up. "Ms. Dwyer," She snapped, her voice suddenly cold and dark, and sending a chill down my spine, "Who exactly do you think you are; speaking to Bella like that?" I chanced a look at my vampire mother, and to be frank, was a little frightened by what I saw. Esme was now fully facing Renee, face stricken, eyes cold and some black coloring was starting to surround her pupils, her mouth was closed in a line, but her lips were just parted enough that I could make out just the glint of her fangs. Shit.

"Esme." I whispered, voice cautionary. I knew where Esme's moods were going. I had first seen them in the woods when the vampire had come after me when I had walked away from my house to take a little "stroll" in the forest. I had pissed Esme off when I compared her to Renee and she had snapped. I was starting to recognize her more dangerous moods throughout these past few weeks. Her erratic behavior was frightening and dark, and thankfully, I was starting to recognize them at their most subtle. Hopefully, I could use that to my advantage now.

"Esme," I repeated, "calm down now. I mean it." I lowered my voice to such a volume that only the vampire would hear, "don't lose control of your instincts, you hear me? If you attack her, I will never forgive you. Joke of a mother or not, I still won't feel comfortable if you kill her. Do you want to expose your race to humans? I don't think there will be enough time for you to hide her body between now and when Charlie comes back. So knock it off."

Esme turned her head to me and gave me an unsettling smirk. I restrained my unease. The smirk reminded me of a look that belonged to a shark. It was creepy. I wondered how long it would take before her lips starting separating from each other and the fangs would show. I also couldn't help but question whether or not the look on her face was a warning towards me. I knew that she was losing her patience, and her inability to tolerate Edward's obsession, and everyone else's foolishness, but I also knew that her tolerance for _my own _stubbornness was starting to disintegrate.

So I started to hold open the possibility that Esme might be threatening me. Oh, I knew that she would never do anything to hurt me, but I knew that there was a danger to her as well, to say the least.

At the building tension, sweat started to form on the skin of my arms and legs began to and trickle downwards. I clenched my teeth together, trying to avoid what Esme's predatory appearance might have meant. I just had to get the two of them the fuck out of dodge, and quickly.

"Don't give me that look, Esme," I grumbled quietly, "just leave. The both of you leave. If you have to drag Renee off the lawn to get away, then so be it."

Esme's smirk dissolved and instead became a gentle smile. "Of course, Bella." She chuckled. She then turned her head towards Renee, "Ms. Dwyer, I suggest we leave. And please, don't speak to Bella that way. See, unlike you, she has actually done all that she can for Charlie, and so she's entitled to expectations. She deserves to have her wishes respected. For once in your life, Renee, please listen to someone else. It might actually be rewarding for you in the end."

Renee clearly wanted to protest, but she looked at me and then she looked at Esme, eyes filled with anger, pain and the worst emotion of all; resentment. She then scowled and like a child, stomped off towards her car, swiftly passing Esme without looking at the vampire, even once.

Tearing open the Subaru's driver door, jumping into the seat and slammed the door shut. A moment later, we heard the engine turn on and Renee pulled out of the driveway, onto the road, taking off faster than I had ever seen her drive in my life. Typical; the moment she realized that she wouldn't get her way, she left, not even caring that it gave me and Esme more time to possibly bond.

When Esme and I overheard Renee turn the corner on the highway, we looked at each other, my eyes full of suspicion; I'm sure, and hers full of dark questions.

I wondered for a moment how long it would take for her mind to start formulating a plot to get me to accept her offer of changing me into a vampire, but she probably had figured out by now that I wasn't going to give in. At least not yet.

"Esme," I said calmly, "if there's something of importance that you have to say, then say it. And say it quickly, because as I said; Charlie's coming back soon."

Esme nodded. "I know." She stated smoothly, "I can hear him approaching. Don't worry, though. I'll drive off long before he pulls into the driveway. However, I'd like to know sooner, rather than later, when you'd like to pull off that plan that we talked about over the phone."

I inaudibly gulped and glared at her. "Go." I snapped, steeling myself against anymore of her luring words or calculating stares. I didn't need further reminding that even as I breathed, she was coming up with multiple plans to bring me to her family's side permanently.

I sometimes, when I think about Esme and her persuasions, don't feel safe. I know it's only a matter of time before she loses patience and decides to take the choice out of my hands. Just how long will it take for that to happen? Esme's already becoming more and more predatory by the day, and her offers have seemed to become a bit more aggressive.

True, we came up with a plan ourselves, but I vaguely wonder if Esme will go through with changing me, without my consent.

I decided in that moment, I was done with this shit. For tonight, anyway. "Alright," I said calmly, keeping my cool countenance up, "I'm done right now. Go home to your family, Esme. I am going to be here, to meet Charlie."

Esme didn't make any noise, just turned towards her car and said quietly, "_Our_ family, Bella. _Our_ family." She walked to her car, entered and started the engine up, leaving the vicinity quickly, her car hitting the road fast and roughly.

I watched, perturbed. I had thought that her leaving would have made me relieved. I was wrong. I was just as anxious as ever. In fact, I was made even more nervous at her statement. "Our family." Right, like that wasn't going to plant thoughts and suggestions in my mind. I groaned, angry. Fucking vampires.

I heard the sound of another car coming, and knew immediately that it was Charlie in his police vehicle. Finally, something going right for a change.

I turned and ran back into the house. Damn it; thanks to Esme and Renee, I needed to hurry up with cooking Charlie's food. Oh, well. If I heard him, then he was really close. I didn't need to rely on a vampire's hearing anymore.

I closed the door to my house and looked at the fridge, thinking of the pork that I had planned to cook for Charlie before Renee came into the house and started that crazy ass mess.

Without further words or curses, I pulled out one of the metal pots from the cupboards, grabbed everything I needed from the fridge, placed the pot on the stove and started to flame, tearing open the pack of remaining pork.

**Renee's POV:**

I just can't believe it. I just can't believe it! I feel hot tears starting to stream down my face. I just don't understand it. Bella is my daughter; my only daughter. I'm her mother! How can she turn her back on me as if my raising her for eighteen years, cooking for her, feeding her, giving her all the love in world, and this is how she repays me?! I'm her mother; doesn't she have any respect at all?

My whole body tightened, and the tears kept coming. Bella was the light of my life. She had been ever since I first saw her in the nurse's hands when they pulled her out of me after hours of torturous labor. I hadn't cared how much pain she had put me through, she was my daughter.

She is my daughter. My thoughts darkened at that. Yeah; Bella is my daughter, she's my daughter, not Mrs. Cullen's! I pressed on the gas hard, and sped faster than I ever had in my life. Anger, resentment and agony were the emotions that ruled me at the moment. I was pretty sure my nose was running too. God, I was angry. Who did Mrs. Cullen think she was?

I glared at the windshield. Bella is _my _daughter! Mine!

I noticed out of the corner of my eye, the motel I was going to coming up. I gasped out in relief. Great. At least I'd have a place to stay for the night. I had enough money to spend here without running out, and I could rest in a comfortable bed. I stopped the car abruptly, hitting the brake as hard as I had hit the gas. How could Bella do this to me? I am her mother. She can't do this to me. She's put me in so much pain.

The pain was bad enough when she first left Phoenix to come to Forks, but now she had found a completely different family and _mother?!_ I was entitled to my anger.

I grabbed the door handle, forcing my way out. I grabbed my handkerchief from my pocket, bringing it to my eyes, whipping my tears away and then moving it to my nose, getting rid of the liquid snot.

I made a disgusted noise at the feeling of my mucous against the fabric. I saw the motel. It was a fairly nice structure. Was wooden, dark brown, looked sturdy, had a tiny wooden bridge, over a little river right next to it. I sighed. so I was going to be subjected to this-to exile because Bella couldn't accept that I couldn't pay attention to her all the time. Was that fair? Obviously not.

I approached the motel, stuffing the handkerchief back into my pocket, seeing the entrance.

As I walked, I overheard the sounds of something loud. It sounded like someone was struggling and screaming. I stopped in my tracks and looked around. Where was that noise coming from? I gazed around. Behind the arch of the motel, the full, bright, pale white moon shined with an eerie, dead light. The tall, large, dark green trees did nothing to take away the look of the creepy, unsettling night. The reached up into the sky like sharp, jagged fangs

All the while, the sound of those cries got louder. I heard a man's yell suddenly ring loudly. I couldn't help but jump and his yell, turning into a scream. Who was that? Fear entered my system. Who was screaming?

Icy terror took over every single modicum of my being, and I thought that maybe, just maybe, if I could sneak into my car, and start it up, I could drive off, and call someone on my cell phone.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" A horrid scream nearly pierced my eardrums. I jumped, crying out. As soon as I realized what I had done, both of my hands clamped over my mouth, eyes widening in terror. Oh god, did whoever was attacking that man hear me?

I looked around again. I didn't see anyone else around except me. Pure, unadulterated dread forced me from where I stood and I ran to the car. My fingers grazed over the handle of the car when my feet were suddenly lifted from the ground, as I felt powerful, cold hands grip my arms, pulling me upwards forcefully.

I gasped. The hands were strong, ungodly strong. The hands hit my arms fast, and it felt like the fingers of the hands that grabbed me were going to snap my bones into little bits. I screamed as I was taken off the ground and was flung into the air. The hands released me, and as I flew, my head went upwards, looking at the sky and all the stars. My moment of flight was ended when I landed hard on my back, all the bones in my upper torso making a nasty "cracking" sound on impact with the hard road.

I screamed loudly at the pain, my head lolling back as tears came again, and I stared upwards into the dark clouds.

"Now what's this?" a childish giggle came from the right of me. It was clearly a woman's voice, but was disturbing in its high pitch, "A delicious morsel, waiting to be eaten. I'll rip your throat right open." Shock hit. No, I was going to die? No, I hadn't done anything! It couldn't end like this! My own daughter had forsaken me, and now I was going to be killed violently.

I couldn't even see who it was that was about to murder me yet.

"Please," I whimpered out, blood dripping from my mouth, "Please, I have a husband, and a daughter. Don't kill me, I still have something to live for."

Again, that childish voice giggled, "Well then, that just makes you more lucky than most of the people I've killed, doesn't it?"

I saw a shadow approaching and heard footsteps nearing my head, and I squeezed my eyes shut, now in despair. "Please! I tried again, "My Phil, and my Bella!"

The footsteps suddenly stopped and I then heard nothing.

I froze, and prevented any more pleas. My would-be killer wasn't actually going to kill me? What made her stop? I wanted to see what was going on, but I was too scared to open my eyes and see my fate coming.

"Bella?" The childish voice sounded startled. "Your daughter's name is Bella? That wouldn't be Bella Swan, would it?"

This time I opened my eyes, surprised myself. "Yes," I said, actually crying out, desperate for this to end without more of my pain or my death, "It is. My and Charlie Swan's daughter; Charlie Swan, the chief of police?" I added that in hopes that maybe whoever this was, would recognize the name and realize that unless she got out of here quickly, she was risking going to jail for a very long time.

I heard another noise. It sounded like my assailant was kneeling down next to me. Then, I heard the whiny girl's voice again. "If you are Bella's mother, then what is your name?"

I finally willed myself to open my eyes, and through all the excruciating pain in my neck and back, turned and looked at where I heard little girl's voice. I was not expecting to see what I saw. It was indeed a woman, and it was a woman with pale white skin and long, curly red hair. She had dark blood dripping out of her mouth, like I did. Though I had the feeling that this blood was from a different source.

Her eyes though, were the disturbing things. Her eyes were red, and there were rims of black surrounding the red.

The redhead smirked, cocking her head, watching me with a predatory look in her eyes. "Who…..who are you?" I got out, whimpering.

The redheaded woman's smile widened and she giggled out again, "My name is Victoria. And you and I, Mrs. Swan, I believe, have a great deal to talk about. And I may even offer you a great gift. The most wonderful gift in fact. Eternity. That is, if you help me."

I would have told her that my last name was Dwyer, and not Swan, had it not been for what else this Victoria had just said. She said "eternity." She said eternity. I'm sure my eyes widened bigger than they had ever widened. What was happening here?

**Okay, finally, at long last, I have updated. Back from the dead, as you all can see. And now, Victoria is here and offering Renee the opportunity to become a vampire. Yes, people we have a problem. **


	12. Emmett's Anger Bella's Lament

**Emmett's Anger-Bella's Lament: **

**Bella's POV:**

I woke up, heavy lidded, slightly thirsty and glanced at my ceiling, taking in the stale air of my room. I inhaled and exhaled deeply. Today I was one day closer to when Esme would be changing me into a vampire. The blanket and the sheets of my bed irritated my flesh, and suffocating my pores. I glared at the offending blanket and threw it off me-letting it hit the floor, uncaringly. I jumped onto my feet on the floor, preparing to get ready for today.

I knew that I had just waken up, but I was still exhausted. Last night had been aggravating, frustrating and made me nearly want to strangle someone. How much of a hint did my mother; Renee need to take before she pissed off? Seriously. I breathed out an angry breath. I looked out the window. It looked like it would be one of Forks's usual, gloomy, rainy days.

Oh well, I guess that means that I'd have to tolerate seeing the Cullens today at school. This brought my thoughts back to Alice and I grunted, angry. Ugh, talk about an annoyance. The problem wasn't that I didn't care about Alice, it was that I cared _too much_ about her and the other Cullens. I was aggravated by, and even feared Rosalie, but I did care about her. I felt nothing but endearing emotions for Emmett and Jasper, despite they're leaving me.

My feelings towards Edward, were ones that probably shouldn't be discussed any time soon. But Alice….but Alice…..

I sighed again. I wasn't sure I loved Alice, at least, not yet, but I knew that firstly, I certainly didn't hate her, nor did I even dislike her, but I had to take a while to firstly recover from the disaster that of course was my and Edward's previous so-called relationship, and I had to assess my feelings for Alice, and I had to figure out if getting into an actual relationship at this point in time was something I really wanted.

And there was more to it than even that. There was Jasper to think about. Once again, what was Jasper's part in this? Had he always been aware? Surely he had to have always been aware; he was a freaking empath, for Heavens sake! I try not to feel awful at that realization. Damn, that really made a sickening sensation of guilt run through me.

I could only imagine what that must have been like for Jasper. Having the ability to feel other peoples' emotions, and be fully aware of his mates love for someone else? God, that sounded terrible. And in that moment, my anger towards Alice came back in full force.

I needed to know, I had to ask Alice if Jasper knew about this, and if during that whole time he was in any kind of pain over what Alice felt for me. I had to. I needed to know if my brother was in any discomfort.

My stomach turned at that, and I blinked in surprise. I had just admitted seeing Jasper as my brother. I let out a dark chuckle. Well, that was unexpected. Not that long ago, I had been insistent on telling Esme that Jasper _wasn't _my brother. Still, there was a difference between what I claimed, and what I felt in my heart. I rolled my eyes. Wow, that was ungodly corny.

Oh, well. I moved to my dresser, opened it and pulled out the shirt I was going to wear for today. I really wished that this day would go by fast. I didn't want any encounter with Renee either. She had caused enough stress for me in one night, I didn't need anymore. I sure as hell didn't need any today.

Once I was completely dressed for today, I grabbed my backpack and started out of my room and down the stairs. I glanced to my left and saw that Charlie's bedroom door was open and the lights were out. Ah, Charlie was awake. He was probably downstairs. I reached the bottom of the stairs, and I heard the clinking of a cup against the dining room table.

I walked in to see Charlie sitting down, drinking his coffee and reading the newspaper. Good. Charlie didn't seem to have noticed anything amiss at all last night.

"Hey, Charlie!" I said, grinning at him; glad to see him turn around and face me, appearing more or less at peace.

"Hey, Bells." Charlie said, giving a small side smile. I nodded. Good to see him in a relatively good mood. He placed his mug of coffee down on the table, not seeming to appear worried about anything. Good. I wanted his happiness, completely and utterly. That thought set my mind back a bit. Soon enough, I would be a vampire. I had already asked Esme if she could change Charlie into a vampire as well. A part of me though, didn't like that idea. It wasn't that I was bothered by Charlie not being human anymore, it was that I couldn't stomach the idea of my father being changed into a vampire without his consent.

While I didn't want to be without my Charlie for the rest of eternity, I also didn't want to make him into a prisoner.

Charlie must have noticed my discomfort, because he leaned forward, looking me, concerned. "Everything alright, Bells?" He asked, worried as any good father would worry.

I just offered a lame smile. "Everything is fine, dad." As soon as I said that, I knew that I probably spoke out of turn. I usually never call Charlie "dad." I only call him that when I felt extreme emotions or was in desperation. When I saw Charlie lift his eyebrows, I knew that he had caught on.

"Everything's fine." I repeated, voice urgent now, "I'm going to school, okay?" I turned and left briskly out the door and went to my truck.

I started up the truck up, grabbing the steering wheel in one hand and the stick-shift in the other. I went backwards out of the driveway, checking both directions, not seeing any cars. I then drove off to school.

**Forks High School:**

**Bella's POV:**

I arrived in the school parking lot, as usual, avoiding all the stairs from the petty children that went here and thought that they'd receive points for being prejudiced against people like me or people like the Cullens, and would look cool for doing it.

I parked my truck, got out, locked it, and headed to school. I shoved my keys in my pocket and walked into the school. As I closed the glass doors behind me, I saw Emmett's jeep, Rosalie's convertible, and Alice's daffodil yellow Porsche through the glass. Well, the vampires were in school. I rolled my eyes. "Some things never change." I grumbled, walking towards my first class.

My first class today was biology. And of course, Emmett was going to be there. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised. I was, however, startled when Lauren Mallory appeared in front of me, a smug expression on her face as she looked at me. I resisted the impending urge to roll my eyes and tell her to go fuck herself. "Yes, Lauren?" I asked, my voice as polite as I could manage it at the moment, "How are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm just doing fine, Bella," Lauren said in that so terribly mocking voice that just made me want to hurl, "Don't see why you're looking so arrogant today. You should get off your high horse. You don't have Edward anymore, so don't get too sure of yourself. Without him, you're nothing."

For a moment, I was tempted to sneer the question of how exactly someone as shallow and stupid as her would know the words of the _Private Sea Journals_ of Admiral Sir Thomas Pasley, but I held myself back. Instead, I said in a meaningful bored tone, "Of course I don't have Edward anymore, Lauren. I gave him up, remember? I actually don't want him. He's all yours if you'd like." I hoped the dumbass understood that today, she really wouldn't get me angry at all; just disinterested.

Lauren didn't look pleased by my lack of reaction. She scowled, "Yeah, right," came her piggish, sneering voice, "I bet that you told us that you don't want him anymore, only because he dumped you first. He dumped you, so you claimed that you dumped him first so no one would find out that he finally realized that he was too good for you."

I knew very well that Lauren's words were meant to hurt, but before I could stop myself, I literally burst out laughing. Just laughing my damn head the fuck off! I threw my head back and before I knew it, I was howling with laughter, eyes fixed at the ceiling.

I heard Lauren step back for a moment. Obviously my bizarre and perhaps frightening amount of humor had unsettled her. I forced my head back down to meet Lauren's eyes, but I just couldn't stop my laughter from rolling out. I could see students freeze in the hallway, eyes fixating on me; clearly stunned and fascinated by the psychotic girl that was laughing unexplainably.

Finally, I got the words out, "Oh Lauren, thank you. You are hilarious. Thank you so much for that. I think I'll be amused all day, just because you said that. Ha ha ha ha!" I, still giggling, and still sounding like I had taken acting lessons from the Joker, I shuffled past the disturbed girl, going down the hall, all the students, much like Lauren giving me a fairly good birth as I went to class. I had a feeling that Lauren would leave me alone for a while after that.

I got to my biology class, now fully recovered from my hysterical fit. I still chuckled a bit as I walked. God, Lauren had said something that truly amazed me. Everyone was really so convinced that Edward was too good for me, that they had all told themselves that he had dumped me first? Oh boy. Heaven help them now. They were hilarious.

I walked into class and immediately lost my smirk when my eyes fell on the large, broad frame of Emmett Cullen. Well that soured my mood quickly.

The dark haired vampire's eyes lit up when he saw me. "Bella!" He exclaimed, excited. I restrained a groan. God, he acted like a child sometimes, or at least an overjoyed puppy. Still, when there were times I really didn't want to put up with the shit of others, Emmett was a good distraction. He was sweet, understanding, funny and caring. He was something I always wanted in a big brother. Sure he'd drive me crazy every now and then, and as a big brother, of course he acted like a jerk at times, but he was one of the few Cullens that I was already beginning to feel my frozen over heart melt for. Jasper I had forgiven immediately, Rosalie didn't even get on my list of the vampires I would be angry at-given she and I probably will never be friends, let alone sisters, and I still had to have some words with Alice.

Esme, well…..that was a compete other story. She and I have made an understanding with one another.

Edward and Carlisle are still shit to me. I'm not sure I can ever forgive either of them. But Esme….my beloved mother, I just couldn't be angry at her anymore. I don't think I could ever feel wrath towards her ever again.

That thought brought me a smile against my will, and unfortunately, Emmett seemed to think that it was for him, because his grin widened and he got up, looking like he was about to bound towards me like a dumb puppy. I sighed. Even if I was more tolerant of him than I was of Carlisle and Edward, he was still someone I couldn't help but have very little patience for. No matter how much I had come to care about him, the thought remained where it was: this was a vampire that had willingly abandoned me-despite the fact that he loved me as his little sister.

If he loved and was still able to leave me behind, then why bother being civil?

I stalked forward, going past him abruptly. "Bella?" He asked, voice forlorn. I didn't care. All of the vampires that I knew had to work for their forgiveness. Esme had more than done enough of that. Alice was working on it, but I still was going to have issues with her possibly using Jasper. Emmett hadn't even come close to making up for what happened after my birthday in my view.

I just ignored the sensation of his eyes on my back and jumped up onto the wooden stool in front of the biology table, getting ready for class as uncaringly as I could. I felt Emmett next to me get up on the neighboring stool. He was clearly disappointed with my response. I just stared, allowing no emotion to cross my face or fill my eyes as I watched the professor and pretended to hear what he was saying.

As the teacher started speaking, I listened more to what Emmett whispered gently to me. "Bella," He uttered, voice pleading, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Bella-bear. Please. We're all sorry for leaving you, even Rose is. I sure as hell am sorry. I didn't want to leave you, but Edward said you didn't want to have anything to do with us. I know we should have known that he was lying, but Jasper just attacked you. I was so sure that you wouldn't want to have anything to do with us after that. I thought you'd be scared of us." His voice sounded so helpless that I actually flinched. I hated hearing Emmett's voice so painful. I didn't want his feelings hurt, even if he deserved it.

My reaction, unfortunately, was obvious and he of course noticed. Out of my peripheral vision, I made out Emmett's hopeful expression. God, I wished that Emmett's skin wasn't as hard as rock, because man I wanted to slap that smile off of his face.

"Please," He whispered again, "I know you're angry at us still. But you want to forgive us, don't you? I'm sorry. I know we hurt your feelings."

I tried not to wince. "Emmett." I hushed sadly.

"Bella?" Came the damn vampire's voice again, his voice still optimistic.

I closed my eyes, drowning out the sound of the teacher's voice and the chuckling of the other students. "I want to forgive you," I confessed in such a small voice that I almost wasn't sure that I had spoken, "But how can I trust you or any of the others after you left without even saying goodbye? If none of you were willing to even look at me and ask me if I wanted you guys to stay, then maybe you really never cared in the first place."

I heard Emmett suck in a sharp breath. "You know that's not true." He said. Now his voice sounded harsh.

I squeezed my eyes shut more tightly. I desired my anger back. I had the right to hate Emmett right now. I had the fucking right. "Don't speak to me like that," the snappish tone that was ripped from my throat came out louder than I expected it would, "Who are you to get an attitude with me, when you're one of the people that chose of your own free will to leave? I'm allowed some anger for being ditched like garbage."

"We never saw you like that!" I almost fell out of my seat at Emmett's shocking yell. What the hell? So much for subtlety and the former art of subterfuge. I swiveled my head to stare at the large vampire. I knew I wasn't the only one who couldn't refrain from gawking at him. I could feel the eyes of everyone else in the room, including the teacher's on us. Emmett, however, didn't seem to be affected by everyone else's surprise and curiosity. He just glared at me, a hurt look in his golden eyes. Emmett's indignant appearance remained solid as he said, voice angry, "You were never garbage to us, Bella. We all love you. We did then, and we still do now. We just fucked up, okay? We just fucked up. Are you really going to carry this around with you forever? Get that chip off your shoulder, okay?"

Emmett got off of the stool and walked angrily out of the classroom, leaving the whole room of students gaping and astounded in his wake. I glanced, recovering from his words, looking from one student to the next absorbing their reactions. No one heard anything except for what Emmett had said just now so they didn't know anything else. Good; at least no one had to die due to Emmett revealing anything. I then got off the stool myself and ran out of the room to pursue him, ignoring the professor yelling after me.

When I got out of the class, I saw Emmett's back to me as he walked down the hall briskly. I grimaced. I hated admitting it, but he was right. I had a chip on my shoulder, and it was growing larger and more obnoxiously obvious. It was not an admirable thing; I knew that. "Emmett!" I yelled, running towards the large vampire, with no care about how I looked to people walking down the hallway and noticing the situation.

Emmett raised his head and glanced back at me, still looking upset. I ran over and got to him, stopping hard right next to him and looking up at his pale face. I stared at him, suddenly a little worried when I saw a little black surrounding his golden eyes. Shit. I ignored the unsettled feeling in my gut and spoke, "Emmett, look, I'm sorry, alright? I should be giving you guys another chance…..I'm just so angry. I need more time to deal with it, okay?" I flinched as I noticed another flash of pain and insecurity crossed Emmett's eyes, "I know you care about me." I lowered my eyes to the floor, "I just need time. Esme gave me time, Alice is giving me time, and I need time from you too."

I heard nothing for a moment, until Emmett decided to speak again. "I need time from you, Bella," He said, voice still hurt, "You need to give me time. Time enough to prove that I actually give a shit about you, which I do. And it hurts that you won't give me a chance."

I tried to ignore the feelings of shame encroaching on me, but that wasn't exactly easy when you had one of the world's sweetest and yes, I hate saying it, but fluffiest vampires looking at you with a pleading expression.

I finally relented. "I'm sorry." I said sadly, "I shouldn't still be as angry at you. You do deserve another chance." I closed my eyes, guilt wracking my conscience, "I'm sorry." I turned and quickly left Emmett, moving out of his way. Emmett was right. I was being mean. Everyone deserved another chance. My stomach turned as I walked; it couldn't be helped. I had to let it go. Jasper and Rosalie was one thing, and Esme had more than earned my forgiveness, but Emmett and Alice didn't deserve the treatment that they were getting from me. I was being too cruel. They didn't deserve this. Carlisle and Edward did, but not the others. I nodded. I'd make it up to them.

As I was thinking, I felt a large, cold hand on my shoulder, forcing me to turn around and face whoever was grabbing me. Judging by the temperature of the hand gripping me, I knew it was Emmett, but I wasn't prepared for what I saw. The large dark-haired vampire was looking at me mournfully. He looked down at me and leaned over swiftly, wrapping me up in his arms fiercely.

"Bella," He whispered, his stony shoulder against my face, "I'm sorry for getting angry. You're right; you have good reason for being mad at us. But I can't stand how pissed you are at us. Please don't stay mad at me, Bells."

I strung my arms around his neck. I sighed. I couldn't stay mad. He didn't have to worry. In that moment, I forgave him. I wasn't going to be mad at him anymore. He deserved better. They all did, well except for Carlisle and Edward. I squeezed Emmett's neck with my arms tightly, well aware that I wasn't going to hurt him. A part of me wanted to remain angry. That was the same part of me that just couldn't let go of my pride. I knew that I needed to swallow my pride and anger to be happier. Regardless of my own feelings, Emmett was one of the people in the world that meant everything to me. Carlisle, Edward and Renee may have had my wrath, but Emmett, Esme, Jasper and Alice should have received my forgiveness long ago.

I knew we were being watched again, but I didn't care. Emmett and I pulled away from one another. Emmett squeezed my hands in his once I was standing up fully. He took that time to speak, "Bells, I know mom's gonna kill us when she finds out, but how about we ditch this class and go into town or something. I don't want to be here today." I tried not to burst out laughing, a second time that day, but I failed miserably. As I laughed, I considered my options. I didn't want to disappoint either Charlie or Esme, but you know I really didn't want to stay at the stupid school right now. Maybe taking some time off with Emmett down town would be pretty cool.

"Alright," I said, cooling my previous anger down, "But since you still owe me, if Esme asks, you picked me up and carried me out of the school and forced me to come with you."

Emmett snickered. "Going to throw me into the lions' den? Thanks, sis." He stiffened as soon as he said that, seeming to think that he had done something wrong when he had spoken. I lifted an eyebrow at his worried expression. Did he think I was going to get angry about him calling me his sister? I held back a sigh. I guess he wasn't too wrong to be concerned. I had after all, been acting like a complete jerk whenever one of the Cullens even breathed that they were my family. I guess loosening up wasn't the dumbest thing for me to do, because I was in serious need of it, if Emmett's appearance at the moment was anything to go by.

I relaxed enough to give the broad shouldered goof a gentle smile. "It's okay, Emmett," I answered, "I need time, but I guess I should also get used to you calling me 'sister.' It's alright, I'm not angry right now."

Emmett's eyes lit up a little and his grin returned to him. "Okay, so let's go!" He all but boomed his voice, making several kids in the hallway jump, startled. I chuckled as we went back into the classroom, grabbing our books and bags and then walking out of the room, all eyes following us again when the two of us walked down and out of the school, heading for Emmett's jeep.

"Just dump your stuff in the back," Emmett said bluntly, "I do it all the time." To prove his point, he threw his backpack and all its contents in the back seat and then jumped into the driver's seat. I followed suit soon after. Once I was in the front, right next to my future vampire brother, I strapped myself in and laid back against the leather seat of the jeep. "Ready?" Emmett asked, excitedly, kind of reminding me of a happy puppy, but I couldn't keep my wide smile from forming.

Emmett started up the car, the engine growling as we pulled out of the driveway. When the vehicle turned towards the direction of the main road, I saw Alice standing on the front steps of the school, watching us. Again, kinda creepy, man. "Um, Emmett?" I started, looking towards Emmett's sister and my supposed soul mate. "I know, Bells," Emmett said shrugging, "I know Alice is there. I can smell her, remember? Don't worry, she'll probably rat us out to mom, but that's about it."

"Okay." I said numbly, though that was really all I could come up with as we passed the school, Alice still watching us. Hey, I just don't like it when there's someone watching me, it makes me paranoid. One of the reasons why I get so angry remembering whenever Edward would come into my room at night without my consent and look at me while I slept nonstop. It's creepy as fuck, especially when the person or persons in question that are watching you, make a point of doing it without either your permission or your knowledge.

But those thoughts were left behind when Emmett drove out into the road and we started going down further into the town of Forks. I'll admit, I was a little nervous as we drove. This was due to three things. The very first and most important of them was that I knew this would be incredibly awkward, if I even breathed the wrong thing. Secondly, it was just awkward on its own when I was fully aware that Emmett and I hadn't really had a chance to talk alone since that day on my birthday, when everything had gone awry-so we were sort of overdue for a talk where anything could go wrong. The third was the subject of Edward, Carlisle and Rosalie. I knew that though Rose probably didn't want me in the family, Emmett still did, and I couldn't help but wonder if that was complicated for my brother. That, and the possible added complications that Emmett's brother and father gave-given things still weren't patched up between Edward and I or Carlisle and I.

Emmett steered his jeep down the road and past the main bridge over the river next to our school. It was that time that Emmett decided was good to speak. "Bella?" He started, making me jump, "I heard that your mom was here in Forks. Renee, right? That's her name?"

I stiffened, shocked. What brought this up? I didn't want to show I was now practically terrified of ever speaking again, but I gulped before I could prevent the muscle reflexes from acting up. I noticed Emmett's movement of chuckling at me, but I let it go. The cat that the vampire had just let out of the bag was a little more important than him possibly offending me at the moment.

"Emmett, what-?" I started, now staring up at him. Emmett surprised me even further, for while he drove with the speed of a freaking Nascar driver desperate to crash his car into the walls of the stadium, he kept his eyes on the road as he spoke to me, "I'm not trying to make things worse. I just want to know, are you going to go back with her to Phoenix?" I paused when I detected genuine fear in Emmett's voice. Now I felt bad, really bad.

The vampire was afraid that this time, I would be the one to leave _him_.

Before I could speak up, Emmett started talking, "I know I don't have any right to say this, Bella," his voice took a dark tone, "But don't go with her. She doesn't deserve you. Please don't hurt us like that."

I looked away from my brother, staring out of the windshield at the black and suddenly ominous looking street. "You're right," I mumbled, "You don't have the right to say that. After being the ones to leave me, you really don't. But I don't have any plans to go with her. There's nothing I could possibly want in Phoenix. There's nothing for me there. I care about Renee, even though my education and feelings mean nothing to her, but I won't go to Phoenix. I have a life here, with Charlie, with Esme, with all of you. I'm not leaving my life because Renee wants to wash her hands clean of responsibility again."

Emmett seemed to increase his speed, but it didn't appear to be from nervousness. Instead, he smiled, happy. "Thanks," He said, now more jovial, "I just needed to make sure. You had every reason to leave us. At least I thought you did. I thought you were going to leave us because you hated us." His voice abandoned the happiness that was previously obvious, and his tone cracked again with fear and worry.

I flinched at the words. Though I had never intended to be with Renee ever again, it didn't seem beyond me at all to pretend that I would go with Renee just to spite the Cullens-especially Esme. That was just how shitty of a person I was turning out to be. It was a disturbing thought, a very disturbing thought.

I didn't like the person I was becoming at all. Maybe Renee was right about me. Maybe I was indeed the most mean-spirited and ungrateful daughter and person imaginable. I bit my lower lip and glanced at Emmett again. I was proving to be unkind, but that would change. I cared too much about Esme, Jasper, Alice and Emmett to remain this cold to them.

I swung my head to turn back and look at the road again. "I'm not going anywhere," I reassured him, "Well except for now anyway. So where are we going, anyway?"

I felt Emmett shrug next to me. "Not much anywhere," He gave, "Just gonna drive around town, see if we can clear our heads for a few hours before you want to head back home." Emmett looked over at me and smiled, "We shouldn't worry about school, we'll have plenty of centuries to repeat it, after all."

I felt a smile come onto my face for a moment. Gratitude became apparent within me, along with a strange warm feeling in my stomach that I hadn't felt in a while around Emmett swelled.

Despite my previous abandonment at the Cullens' hands, I always felt strange and overjoyed when they made it clear that they wanted me in their lives. I never wanted to make them upset again. I knew the way I was acting towards them was wrong. I wouldn't act like that any longer.

"Okay." I affirmed, "Drive on." I added as we got close to town, "I look forward to being a vampire. And to being your sister, Emmett."

I looked at the dark-haired vampire. His eyes were filled with happiness, and I could tell it was all he could do not to stop the jeep and pick me up, hugging me again. He smiled and looked back out the jeep's windshield.

We drove into the town. I found myself really laughing at times, enjoying the feeling of the wind whipping through my hair. I lifted myself up, grabbing onto the bars above my and Emmett's head on the jeep. I looked over at the diners coming up and smirked. I knew I was being arrogant, but a part of me wanted to absorb the fact that I had people like Esme, Emmett and the other Cullens in my life now; like I needed no one else beside them and Charlie. It was an exhilarating feeling.

As we swung by the buildings, I saw the police office coming up….along with Charlie's car parked out…..and the sight of Charlie walking down the steps of the office.

Startled, I pushed out of the jeep further to see my dad. "Charlie?" I yelled, watching the sheriff come down the stone walkway, face appearing stricken. Panic immediately washed over me. Charlie's head lifted when heard my voice.

"Bella!" Emmett hissed, voice concerned. He war probably worried that I'd try to jump out of the jeep after Charlie. This would explain why he came to a stop in front of the station. As the jeep stopped, I quickly said my thanks to Emmett, tore off the seat belt, jumped out and ran towards my father anxiously.

"Bells," Charlie mumbled, looking at me, bearing a grieving appearance that no one should have on their face.

The rocks and dirt crushed and clinked together as my feet pounded on them, getting closer to my father. "Dad!" I said, for once not calling him by his name in my dread, "Dad, what happened? What's going on?"

It was one thing if Charlie was just coming out of work, but I could tell when he was coming down the steps. There was something wrong. Charlie looked way too forlorn for it to have been nothing.

I ran up and came to a halt in front of him, Emmett more than likely following me.

Charlie's eyes took a pained look before hardening. "Bella," He said authoritatively, "Get back to school. You're not supposed to be here right now." His eyes glinted with something dangerous. There was an edge to his voice that made me incredibly uncomfortable.

"Charlie," I said, fear now gripping me, "What is it? What's going on here?" A thought suddenly hit me. Had Charlie seen Renee? Oh god, had Renee bothered him? "Is it Renee?" 

Charlie's eyes went wide. "You know about that?" He asked, shocked. I held back a groan. It was exactly I had thought. "I saw her just last night." I grumbled, "Of course I know about her being here. Has she been rude to you or worse?" I couldn't keep the anger out of my voice no matter how much I tried.

Charlie froze. "Wait a second, Bells," He said, seeming to revaluate the situation, "You don't know?"

I stared. Now I was really confused. What was Charlie talking about and what was he trying to hide from me? I couldn't help my aggravation as the anxiety started to seep in. "Dad," I groaned, "What happened? Why are you so worried?"

Charlie's face became a mask of pain and even more oncoming grief. "Renee disappeared last night." I didn't say anything when I heard that, "We found her car near the motel she apparently went to, to stay, and we found…..we found several drops of blood from her. But we didn't find her. There have been several bodies found recently, killed in all kinds of gruesome ways. And now Renee is missing, and we just found her car and her blood."

I felt numb. I felt so numb. I didn't even move when Charlie leaned over and scooped me up in his arms, face buried in my neck, trying to keep his tears at bay. I noticed out of the corner of my eye, Emmett staring, face cautious and looking almost like a predator's face. Charlie might have spoken quietly, but Emmett as a vampire, heard every word of what my father said.

And he and I both knew what Charlie's words meant, even if he didn't know himself. Renee was missing, but they only found her blood.

It didn't take a genius to figure out what happened. Her body was missing? Animals didn't do that. Humans did, though. Well, humans and vampires. If the theory that was more than likely formulating in my head, as it more than likely was in Emmett's head was correct, then Renee had been grabbed and fed on by the vampire that was responsible for the most recent murders outside of the town.

I felt sick to my stomach. If Renee hadn't gone to that motel, then she never would have been attacked by vampires. Tears came before I could bring logic into it. "I did this," I whispered, warm liquid leaking down my face, "I killed Renee."

I knew that Charlie hadn't heard, but I knew that Emmett unfortunately had heard me.

I glanced at him, watching Emmett through my warm tears. Emmett's previously predatory face became shocked and he looked at me desperately. "Bella, no." He said sadly, the blackness in his eyes now gone.


	13. Bella's Grief

**Disappearance: Bella's Grief**

**Bella's POV:**

I couldn't stop. The words kept repeating themselves in my mind over and over and over again-blaming me, accusing me, and rightly so. "It's my fault." I moaned, walking vigorously away from the Cullen house, "It's all my fault. If I had just thought about her a little more, this wouldn't have happened." The tears just kept on falling, "I mean, I've had to deal with her childishness my whole life; what's one more night or two more nights? I should have let her stay!"

"Bella!" Alice snapped, grabbing my right wrist in both her hands and forcing me to whirl around and face her, "Enough. This isn't your fault, Bella, it's not." The pixie vampire stared at me, her bright golden eyes pleading with me. She raised both her hands and cupped my face between freezing cold palms.

"None of this is your fault, Bella," She whispered, "She didn't have to come here. She didn't have to come to you. And even if she did, it's the fault of whatever vampire took her. The vampire made their choice to take Renee too. You're not responsible."

I stared into Alice's beautiful, gentle and loving eyes and just collapsed into her stony embrace, breaking down and crying into her chest, my much taller frame crumpling and letting the more powerful creature carry me back to her house. It must have been a bizarre thing to see from the perspective of an outsider; a much smaller woman, with a tiny build and frame carrying another woman that is at least a foot taller than her, but considering there wasn't anyone else here except for me, her and her family, I doubt there was much care in the world about it. The only concern was with my idiocy.

Or rather, the idiocy that I told myself I had committed, and no one else seemed to think it.

"I killed her," I sobbed out against Alice's chest, "I killed my own mother, Alice. I know she wasn't a good mother….but she was still my mother…..and….and I killed her."

"Bella," Alice whispered, stroking my hair tenderly, "Shhh, you don't know that. Shh. You don't know for sure if she's dead. And even so, it isn't your fault."

She carried me up the steps, my neck inches away from her mouth. I didn't care though. She could have ripped my throat right open and I'd of felt like I deserved it completely. Alice soon let out purring noises to soothe me. The sounds were incredibly affective. I slowly felt my limbs becoming looser and my shoulders lowered. My head rested against her shoulder, my tears soaking into her dark cashmere shirt.

"It's alright." Alice whispered lovingly, "It's alright. It's not your fault. And we don't know anything that might have happened to Renee, yet. We still need to find out. She might have just been hurt on accident and might be out there, well and fine, just injured."

I stifled a laugh. Were vampires usually that big of bullshiters?

"Alice," I chuckled grimly, hot tears returning to my eyes again and again, "I think if anyone else besides me heard that, they'd call you out fast. I don't think anyone would believe _that_." Alice didn't seem to be hurt by my exclamation of her idealistic lie, if anything, she sighed sadly, holding me closer.

"I know you're going to oppose this," Alice said in the gentlest of tones, "But you need rest right now. It's been a long day, and you've been stressed out since the moment you heard about Renee. I'm going to take you upstairs and you'll stay here for the night. It's too late to get into your truck and drive back to Charlie's. You're too exhausted, I don't want to risk you getting into an accident or something."

I thought about protesting, but I was so tired. My muscles felt lax and the drowsiness surrounded me, encasing me in a seductive lull, forcing me to be even sleepier than before.

However, one little detail did pop up into my mind. "Wait, Alice!" I cried out suddenly, causing the small vampire's eyes to shift to me, "What about Charlie? Isn't he going to worry about me not being home? And what happens when he finds out that I'm sleeping in the same house that Edward stays in?"

Alice smiled. It was no secret for anyone here that Charlie hated Edward. He blamed him for my nightmares and for how malnourished I had been over those months, a year ago. He also believed that Edward was the worst for me. Thankfully, I wasn't interested in him anymore, far from it. But Charlie didn't know that.

"Edward is away," Alice said tenderly, "we told him that we want him gone for a while. He is in Alaska with our Denali cousins right now. If you call Charlie and tell him that you're staying with us, just as long as you include that Edward won't be here tonight, everything will be fine."

I said calmly through my tears, "I don't think he'll believe that, Alice. He might think that I'm lying."

Alice held me even tighter, resting her chin on my head, seeming to smell me. "It'll be alright, Bella," She purred in a seductive tone, sending chills down my spine, "I'll persuade him to leave us alone. Bella, sleep in my room for tonight."

I stiffened, now alert. Oh no; if Alice thought I was going to let my guard down around her, she had it way wrong. "Alice," I grumbled, fighting to get out of her grasp, and of course failing, "I'm not sleeping in your room. I know what your feelings are for me. You think I'm going to take chances like that?"

Alice paused and then turned me in her arms, holding me still easily with one limb, while using her left hand to cup my chin and lift my head up to look at her, meeting her eyes so similar and yet so different from Edward's gold ones. "Bella," Alice started, "I won't hurt you or take advantage of you. I swear it. Besides, Esme will be there. Do you think she'd ever allow that? Do you think she would allow me to touch you without your permission?"

I thought about giving a snide remark, but held my tongue as I really thought about it. No, no of course Esme wouldn't allow Alice to do anything to me without my consent. With the whole "mama bear" thing Esme had going towards me, it was a wonder how Lauren and Jessica were still alive after the things they've said to me. No, Esme would never allow anyone to ever take advantage of me.

I sighed. I guess I couldn't deny. "No," I whispered, well aware that the vampire that desired me so much could easily hear my words, "No, Esme would not allow you to take advantage of me." I tried to say it in a tougher tone than the one I was using, but it seemed impossible for me to accomplish, while wiping snot and tears from my face, and it was difficult for me to keep up any kind of confident countenance.

When I stroked my hand against my face to get rid of the tears, I couldn't see Alice's face, but I could almost feel the smile that she possessed at that moment. "No, she wouldn't," Alice affirmed for me, "And I promise I would never do anything without your permission." I knew that her reassurance was meant to make me feel better, but considering that I was aware of my new status as a murderer, even if it wasn't intentional, I couldn't deal with anything right now.

I wanted to go home and get to sleep, but I was too tired to drive home, as the vampire holding me had plainly said.

"Fine,' I grumbled, defeated, "Take me upstairs so I can sleep, Alice. But you'd better make do on that promise that no one's gonna bother me, Cullen."

Alice giggled, "Promise, my love." I froze again at the words of endearment, however, I didn't have long to contemplate it, as Alice shot through her house door and through the house, up the stairs and up to her room where her large bed was. The speed Alice was going at made my limbs fly and my whole form rock and thrash in Alice's grasp and I came to a violent halt, do to the sudden stop.

"Sorry, Bella," Alice said quietly, "I got excited. Do you want me to stay out of the room while you sleep? I will if you want. We'll all give you your privacy and won't come into the room unless you want any of us with you, you know that, right?"

I laughed a little, feeling against my hands that the last of my tears had dried up. "Okay," I exclaimed, "But I need to tell Charlie I'm here. Let me call him. And, I want to speak to Esme afterwards before I go to sleep."

"Of course." Alice nodded, letting me go and reaching into her pocket, retrieving her cell phone and handing it to me calmly.

The metallic silver device hummed to life in my hand as I started dialing in my dad's home phone number; the buttons and screen glowing. Alice turned and walked out of the room, wanting to give me space. Though I didn't quite understand why. She could go anywhere in the house, and she would still hear me speak to Charlie, given those damn vampire senses.

I heard Charlie's phone on the other end ringing. I waited patiently till finally, Charlie answered.

"Hello?" Charlie's gruff voice met my ears.

"Hey, Charlie," I said, trying to be joyful as I spoke, but my mood was souring my voice, so I probably wasn't sounding very convincing to him.

"Bella!" Charlie cried, voice sounding relieved, "Where are you?"

"It's okay," I choked out, nearly laughing, "I'm at the Cullens' and Edward's not here. He's in Alaska with the Cullens' cousins, I promise. It's just Mr. and Mrs. Cullen and their other four kids, including Alice," I added Alice's name since I knew that Charlie adored the pixie vampire, "I don't want to leave you alone right now, but I just really want to be with friends at the moment." As strange as it sounded, the Cullens were really the only ones that would probably understand me at the moment.

"Thanks for telling me, Bells," Charlie said, though he sounded uncertain. For that, I decided to add, "Dad, I swear it, would you like me to put Alice on the phone to confirm it?" Immediately, Charlie's tone changed, "Oh...I guess if Alice is promising it." I tried not to laugh. God, Alice really _did _have my dad wrapped around her finger. She didn't even have to speak to him to control him. I then heard Charlie add, "And don't worry, I'm not alone right now. Billy got worried and came over. We're gonna watch some football, so don't worry about me, kiddo." I grimaced when Charlie mentioned Billy. Oh yes; Billy Black, Jacob Black's father. I'm sure he'll just be _thrilled _to hear that I'm at the Cullen house. That thought brought me to a fearful conclusion: what if Billy and the wolves believed that the Cullens were responsible for Renee's disappearance?

I kept my voice steady as I spoke again, "That's good to hear. Are there any reports about Renee at all? Any sightings?"

I knew I was tempting Charlie's fears by asking these almost cruel questions, but I had to know. If I was going to accept the blame of being a murderer I might as well know for sure whether or not I am indeed guilty of such a crime, shouldn't I? That, and I should know whether or not the Cullens should start running to another state or freaking country.

I heard pain in my father's voice when he spoke again, "No, Bella, no one's found anything. We've found her blood and her car but not her. It's horrible. I don't want to think about where she might be."

I flinched. Once again, I had proven that I was the worst person in the world. I just continually hurt people wherever I went.

"Dad," I said sadly, "Don't. Just go spend time with Billy. Being around him will be good for you. You'll feel better. Just sit down with him and watch the game, okay?" I tried not to cry as I heard my father whimper over the phone, "Please dad, it'll be okay."

"I'm sorry, Bells," Charlie breathed out, "It's just…..I never wanted anything bad to happen to either of you. I love you both so much. I should have protected her."

"Dad no," I said pleadingly, "It's not your fault," _(It's mine)_, I thought to myself, grief stricken, "It's the fault of whoever it was that attacked her, okay? And you guys will find out who it was. And you'll make them pay. But first, we have to know if she's okay. Don't jump to the conclusion that she's dead, dad. We don't know anything for sure. Now please, just watch football and spend some time with your friend. The rest of the police force is all over the place, looking for Renee, right? They're doing their jobs."

At least, that's what I had been told by Charlie himself. According to him, Charlie's boss had advised Charlie to take it easy for a while, so as not to put too much stress on his heart, and instead of having Charlie out on the field, his boss put every other man and woman on the squad in numbers out, searching for Renee day in and day out.

"Yeah, you're right, Bells," Charlie said, voice taking an optimistic turn, though he clearly wasn't convinced, "I'll just relax for a bit. Don't worry about food, Billy brought some beer and pizza." I heard him move and then he said, startled, "Oh, uh, Billy wants to talk to you for a second."

My stomach twisted. I didn't want to hear what Billy had to say. Most likely he was going to tell me that I shouldn't be with the Cullens right now. Or worse, he was going to confirm my suspicion that he and his tribe thought that the Cullens killed Renee.

But I consented, "Okay dad. Bye. Good luck and everything, and have fun for tonight, okay?"

"Alright, Bells." Charlie chuckled, his voice for once sounding brighter since I first spoke to him on the phone, "Bye. Take care. And Billy's reaching for the phone so I'll talk to you tomorrow."

I heard movement, and then Billy's voice was on the phone, speaking harshly to me, "See what you've done, Bella? I hope you're happy." He then whispered in a quieter voice, causing me to suspect that Charlie was no longer close to the phone, "I don't know how you can excuse yourself, being with a bunch of bloodsuckers. They'll drain the life out of you if you're not careful, just like they did your mother."

I became tense. So it _was_ exactly like I had thought. The wolves believed that the Cullens killed Renee. Damn it! This just got better and better, didn't it?

"Billy," I snapped, not minding how loud I was, "the Cullens didn't do it, okay? It was another vampire. Someone else."

I heard a cold scoff next, "You really, honestly believe that? They're vampires, Bella. Nothing good will come from being with them."

At that judgment, and talking about the vampires I cared about, I felt my temper slowly building. What was worse, I was well aware that Alice was just outside, and that Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Esme were around the house somewhere, which meant that they could hear every single quiet word Billy was saying. At that realization, I lost it.

"Look here, Billy!" I snarled, losing all complete control of my cool, "Who the hell gives you the right to pass judgment on the Cullens like this? You don't know for sure that they were the ones that did it. And hey, if you want to get into a species that'll hurt you if you hang around them too much, how about you start with your son and his pack."

There was a stunned silence on the other end and I took advantage and finished with one final piece of damage, "After all, Billy, I'm pretty sure Emily Young's scarred up face will vouch for that. Go back to your delusional world where Wolves are nice and cuddly and vampires are evil and mean. Some of us actually see things for how they are. Not everything is in black and white, you know. Now shouldn't you be doing more important things, like comforting Charlie instead of lecturing about something you know nothing about?"

Enraged, I slammed the cell phone shut, disconnecting the call and more than likely damaging the phone a bit.

I didn't even realize what I had done until after I heard the doorknob turn and saw Alice walk in. I froze, looking at the cell phone sheepishly. Oh, shit.

"Alice, I-" I started, embarrassed.

"It's alright." Alice said, smiling gently, "It's okay. I don't think my family and I can thank you enough for all the times you've defended us from the wolves, Bella. You've stood up for us when you obviously don't have to."

I didn't smile. I couldn't. Not if the wolves were coming. "Alice," I started cautiously, "You heard that, right? You all heard that. They think you guys attacked Renee."

"But you don't." Alice put in, smile widening, "That's the most important thing to us."

I couldn't stop the rolling of my eyes. "Thanks, Alice," I grumbled, "As nice as that sounds, the most important thing to you guys _should_ be that they think you did it, and they're more than likely going to come after you. You guys have to leave Forks, now."

I heard a growl resound throughout the house. I flinched. I was guessing that that was Rose, but I held my tongue.

"And what about you, Bella?" Alice asked, narrowing her eyes a bit, "What will you do? You _are_ coming with us, you know that, right?"

I tried not to glare. I _had_ agreed to be part of this family, or rather, I had agreed to Esme that I would be part of this family. If that was the case then that meant that I was with them, all the way. Through thick and thin, through running from being persecuted by a bunch of testosterone driven idiotic wolves, to dodging the police if they got involved. If the vampires were leaving, I had to come with them. But I couldn't leave Charlie.

"What about Charlie?" I asked, though I knew that Alice and Esme wouldn't let me down.

Alice took the phone out of my hand and turned from me, smiling, "Didn't we agree to that too? Charlie's coming with us. Esme knows you're too attached to him to leave him here."

I tried not to growl. Of course I was fucking attached to Charlie. I loved him, he was my father and he actually tried to be a good parent, unlike Renee. But the thought of Charlie being dragged with us, against his will, made my gut feel like it was going to give me the worst feeling in the world. I didn't want to force anyone into anything. I am not Edward. I would never force my will upon anyone else.

"You do realized that I'm not going to force Charlie to come with me, right?" I snapped, glaring at Alice, "Charlie hasn't decided yet whether or not he'll travel with us."

Alice turned back around to face me. "You don't know that he won't come with us," She answered coyly, "You are the most important person in the world to him. He will follow you anywhere. Even into a raging active volcano."

"Yeah?" I grumbled, scowling, "It might not be such a good idea to cut and run when there's a woman missing. If you guys run it might implicate you further," I glared at the wall closest to me, "But you guys have to run for it. The wolves are going to come. They're stupid. They think you guys are responsible for every cat stuck in every tree. They'll come here saying that you're the ones that killed Renee, even though you didn't. Jacob, Sam, Paul and the others are dumb bigots. I'm pretty sure they don't even care about facts. They just want excuses to attack you and your family, so you'd better run for it."

Alice cocked her head, looking at me speculatively. "We're going to leave with or without Charlie." She answered, "The only one we know for certain is going to stay with us is you, Bella." She added calmly, "You are part of our family now. As for the wolves and the police; we'll give it time. If we gradually leave, then it won't be suspicious in the eyes of the police. But if the wolves attack, we can use it against them by law. To any human that passes by, it will look like a family of humans are being attacked by a pack of vicious wolves."

I felt a strange mixture of hope, disgust and bizarre satisfaction. Alice and the family were going to use the whole "wolves are vicious and a group of animals are attacking us card?" They were going to play as if they were innocent? I found it underhanded and deceitful, and yet, I had never felt so amused in my life. God, I really was a bitch.

"Alice," I said slowly, stunned, "I know it's going to be a while before I can get into a relationship again, but just to let you know, that was a really sexy plan."

Alice grinned, flashing her teeth playfully. You know, if I ever decided to be bound to Alice in anyway, I was pretty sure I'd love it deeply. I was jus that twisted. And Alice seemed pretty twisted too.

Alice started moving downstairs and though I knew that the plan was for me to sleep in her room, I walked out, at the top of the stairs, looking down and seeing the rest of the Cullen vampires in the living room, staring up at me.

"Bella," Esme started, her gaze strange, "I'm sorry, I know you don't want Charlie to be dragged away without his permission, but time is running out. Your brothers and sisters will be graduating soon. And you'll be graduating soon too."

I nodded. We had already established that I was part of this family, and as a result, would be coming with them when they departed from Forks. I suspect that if I protested, it wouldn't make much of a difference. They were probably going to take the choice out of my hands if I tried to get out of my promise. Not like I would anyway. There was nothing left here for me except for Charlie. And given that we had decided that my father was coming with us, I didn't see any reason not to go with the Cullens.

"Bella's coming with us, right?" Emmett asked, a worried tone in his voice as he looked at me hopefully.

I couldn't help but smile at my gentle brother. "Of course I am, Emmett." I said, the anger that I once had towards Billy Black now evaporating, "I'm your sister now, after all."

Emmett's smile became bright again, and my heart swelled for a moment, before I remembered that we had sort of a serious matter at hand.

"Look, guys," I started, losing my own smile, "Thanks for being so happy that I'm part of your coven right now, but there's something kind of dire. You all did hear what Billy Black said over the phone, right? The wolves think that you're the ones that took Renee. What are we going to do about that?"

Carlisle stood up from where he had been sitting on the black leather stool in front of Edward's black grand piano. He spoke calmly, though I detected some unease, "We'll leave, soon. But not so soon that it will look suspicious to either the wolves or the police. And if the wolves do attack," He looked up at Alice, "I don't want any violence."

Anger filled my being again. "Oh I see," I growled, "So we're just to stand back and let the wolves attack us?" I was not making a mistake in my speech, when I said the word, "us," "the wolves don't care about truth, Carlisle. The wolves are filled with nothing but hate. They despise you, simply because you're vampires. And they'll take whatever excuse they can get. They probably wouldn't even care if they had physical evidence that you guys didn't attack Renee. They just want to eradicate you because they hate you."

I took a breath and ended, hoping I was making a good point, "They're bigots, Carlisle, and you can't make bigots see reason. And trust me, the wolves won't try to talk, they'll just try to kill. If so, we have to fight back."

All of the vampires present, save Alice and Esme look startled at my outburst. Carlisle was clearly about to speak, when I cut him off.

"Or would you rather see your wife and children be slaughtered for a crime they didn't commit?" I sneered, glaring.

Carlisle stared, speechless. He had clearly wanted to say something, but Esme was the one that chose to speak now, and who chose the words, "Carlisle, she has a point. What's worse, is they will interfere when they find out that Bella will choose to be one of us. You think they'll allow us to change her? They'll try to stop us. Bella has made her choice. They have no right to force her to stay away from us. But they will try. They will impose their wills on us and on Bella, if they get the chance."

She looked up at Alice and added, "Alice, honey, please keep a watch out for the wolves. If you can't access your visions anymore, that means that the wolves are coming, correct?"

Alice nodded next to me. "Yes," she answered, "I can't see them, but my vision gets fuzzy, so hopefully that should be a warning. I'll let all of you know if that's what I see."

Alice then looked back at me as she said, "Bella, it's late. To be honest, you look exhausted." I blinked. I couldn't lie; I was tired. But Billy's accusations of my family was what kept me more or less energized enough to keep myself from just falling to the floor unconscious in my drowsiness.

"Yeah," I mumbled, "I am tired. I'll lie down for a while. But if the wolves get close to the house, I want you to wake me up, kay?" I ended that, looking at the future seer intently, hoping I got my point across. She nodded, smiling, placing her left hand over my left wrist, gesturing for me to follow her into her bedroom.

Alice closed the door behind us when we entered her room. She led me to her bed. It was a really, really comfortable looking bed. I gazed over at it, my exhaustion increasing the furniture's appeal in my eyes. It was a large king-sized bed, covered with midnight blue velvet sheets and blankets, with the softest looking four pillows at the head, pillow-cases the same color as the blankets and sheets and the same velvet material, masked the pillows' bodies. The four bed posts surrounding the structure in front of me were all gold colored, though I was gonna go out on a limb here and assume that the bed posts were really made from brass. The top of the posts were mushroom-shaped and all had thin spires in the middle of the head of them, all four individual spires painted black.

"Fancy bed you have there," I said quietly, in a tone that were Alice human, she would never have heard, "But you guys don't sleep. Did you really buy this bed for me?"

Alice breathed into my ear, sending a chill down my spine, "You actually have to ask that? Food, beds, blankets, water; all of them we buy for you. You know we'd do anything for you, right?"

I shivered. I was pretty sure Alice was trying to restrain herself from saying, "I would do anything for you," but I didn't show any indication that I suspected it.

"Well thanks," I said, trying to keep my voice nonchalant, "That was really cool of all of you." I glanced to the right, something being caught out of the corner of my eye. My stuff; my backpack, some extra clothes of mine, some night clothes and toiletries; my toothbrush, hair brush, toothpaste, some shampoo and liquid soap in a large white container.

"Wow," I grumbled, both impressed and mocking somehow, "Looks like someone broke into my house and grabbed my personal stuff."

Alice chuckled, sounding unashamed, "Yes, well, it was needed, I think. Rosalie and I decided to get your toiletries and clothing when we heard from Emmett back at school about what happened. We felt that you needed to be around people who understood loss." Her voice became serious then, "And you can stay with us as long as you need. That's why we have so much. We aren't going to send you away. We're here for you."

At Alice's heartfelt explanation, my defenses lowered almost instantaneously. I have to say, when a vampire knew how to wrap you around their little pinky finger, you'd be nothing but mush in their hands.

I breathed out, closing my eyes. Though I know Alice was not touching me at the moment, I could almost feel her getting closer to me. "Alice," I whispered, calming down slowly, "Thank you. I know I haven't exactly been the nicest person to you guys. I mean, I know you all made a big mistake and left but….it really doesn't excuse any of my behavior, does it?"

I didn't move when I felt a cold and hard, but gentle hand brush against the right side of my face in an understanding motion. "It's alright, Bella." Alice said quietly, nuzzling her face against my ear, "It's alright. We did something terrible without thought. You had good reasons. All that matters now; is that you give us another chance."

I leaned against Alice, losing control, and burying my head against her neck. "Alice?" I asked cautiously, "How much control over your instincts do you have right now?"

Alice paused.

"Why, what for?" She asked tenderly, making me shiver again. I knew I shouldn't be thinking about this. I knew that this was really bad of me, but my mind started traveling to just how gentle and tender she might be in bed.

That thought immediately forced blood to rush into my face.

"My, Bella," Alice purred, "What's wrong?"

I wanted to growl, _"You know very well what's wrong, dammit! I know you're doing this on purpose!"_ But I restrained myself and grounded out, "It's nothing. I just….I just would like you to sit next to me while I'm sleeping, okay? Is that so freaking wrong?"

Alice giggled. "Okay," She consented easily, "I'll sit next to you. I'm sorry for teasing. It's just so easy to do. You're so adorable when you get angry."

I scowled at her, trying to keep an angry façade up with those playful, loving golden eyes sparkling at me. "Keep it up," I growled, "And you're not sitting anywhere near me."

Alice smirked, "Oh, I really doubt that. But if you insist." She moved away from me and sat down on the bed calmly, still smiling, "I'll just sit here and wait for you to get dressed into your night clothes." She nodded to somewhere behind me, "the bathroom is over there," her smirk widened as she added, "That is, if you actually _want_ privacy."

I scowled at her. "Really, Alice? Really?"

Alice grinned, sticking her tongue out at me.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "Watch it, vampire."

Alice smiled at me and I felt her eyes on me as I turned from her, gathering my clothes and toiletries and heading for the bathroom.

Once inside, I closed the white painted door, placed everything on the counter next to the sink, and slid down against the door, onto the floor, face in my hands. I had been able to hold back my misery before when interacting with the Cullens, but now; thinking about wherever Renee might be; in a ditch dead or being tortured or even worse, I just couldn't stop the tears from flowing, even with the knowledge that the Cullens were just downstairs and one of them was right outside the bathroom and that they could all hear me easily.

This was confirmed to me when I heard a gentle tapping against the door. "Bella?" Alice said gently, voice worried, "Are you crying? I can smell your tears."

I restrained a cynical laugh. Oh, fantastic. Alice and the others could smell my tears. It was bad enough that they could probably hear everything I was saying and doing, but they could also smell my tears. Fantastic.

I wanted to get angry at her, but I couldn't stop myself. I was responsible for Renee's possible demise or misery. I had driven her away into the hands of whoever or whatever had taken her.

"I'm sorry, Alice," I whimpered out in my tears, "I'm sorry." I was so concentrated on my grief that I didn't even respond when the door was suddenly opened and I was wrapped into the arms of the little vampire, who brought me to her chest, walked back over to the bed, as I was held in a secure grip against her, and she sat down, placing me next to her and letting me sob into her chest once again.


	14. The Treaty Broken

**Chapter 17: The Treaty Broken:**

**Renee's POV:**

The pain was unbearable. I grabbed at anything; at boxes in the warehouse where we were, at pipes, at the smooth, stone floor; anything. I had begged the crimson-haired woman to stop. Begged her. But no mercy came.

The woman with hair like fire had just stood back, looked down at me and had grinned in satisfaction as she watched me writhe and listened to me scream.

Why was she doing this? She was clearly insane. I could feel something flow through my system. I had no idea what it was, of course, but it hurt. It hurt horribly. I couldn't stop the screams from being torn out of me. I screamed louder than I ever remember screaming before in my life. Not even when I gave birth to Bella, I hadn't screamed this loudly.

Hell, I hadn't gone through this much pain at that time-and it was giving birth!

I didn't know what this "Victoria" had done to me, but my body was wracked with pain and agony, and physical torment. I had an old dusty memory of a 1970s documentary on cows and how they were slowly slaughtered for meat. I remembered the pain that was described. How much torment the cows were in. That was exactly what I felt like right now. I felt like one of those cows being sawn in half and drilled into.

I gasped out, even though I knew help would never come, "Please help me." I gasped, glancing at the redheaded Victoria who had just been staring at me, as if amused the whole time I could feel myself burning up.

Victoria only cocked her head, eyes showing no signs of remorse. "It's too late," She stated, voice high-pitched, "It's already done. My venom is fully in your veins now. You can't stop the transformation; nobody can. Don't worry though; this is not the end. After it's all over, you will have an eternity of power and strength ahead of you. All humans will be at your mercy, including your daughter."

Another scream came out of my mouth, reverberating around the large dark shed where Victoria had carried and hid me. I could feel the torrents of invisible flames encasing my form, burning every inch of me. It hurt. God, it hurt and as far as I could see, there was no way of stopping it at all. I didn't know what Victoria was talking about; eternity, power and strength, but I could say this much; those were the last things on my mind as this was happening to me.

Tears streamed down my face as I tried to pretend I was somewhere else; anywhere else than here, on this cold, rotting wooden floor, forced to endure my agony without rescue.

"You'll see," I heard Victoria say again, this time her voice became a growl, "When I first bit you, it was almost two days ago. Just one more day and a few hours and the transformation will be complete. Three days of unimaginable pain, and it will be rewarded, I assure you. You will never fear anyone or anything ever again."

I panted. More gibberish as far as I could tell. I couldn't make sense of anything this bizarre woman said. However, in my haze I was able to make out several shapes behind Victoria, moving about. I stared at them. Some of them were very large, some were small and gangly, and some looked bent out of shape and gnarly as a wild animal gone rabid.

Seeing me watch these ghoulish figures Victoria laughed, "Oh, don't worry about them, Renee dear. Those are just newborn vampires. They will be a part of the army that I send to bring chaos to the Cullens….and to the life of your daughter."

**La Push: **

**The Wolf Pack: **

**Jacob's POV:**

I heard what happened, but even if it was those bloodsuckers, I really couldn't believe it. It was just that….Bella trusted them. I flinched. Maybe Paul, Jared, Leah and Sam were all right. I had put too much trust in Bella. She was misguided. She didn't see reason anymore. All she cared about were those abominations.

It made me sick. They had brainwashed her purely and simply, and she really thought that they were innocent. They only drank animal blood my ass! If that was the case, how then, was Renee dead. It made my blood boil. How could Bella turn her back as her own mother was murdered by those bloodsuckers?

Had they really destroyed her that much? What had those vampires done to her to make her turn against her own kind?

I kept my seething growl down so that I wouldn't be stared at by my brothers. Jared and Paul were already poking fun, sneering that my "girlfriend" was a traitor to the human race, and I was already having a hard time restraining myself from ripping them both apart.

I glowered as I heard Paul snap at my dad who was only staring up at the dumbass with a condescending look, "Dammit, Billy! You gotta let us go after them now! They're not just going to stop with that Dreyer woman; they'll go after a lot of people before we get to them. Let us kill those freaks and everything will go back to normal for a while. Come on, Billy!"

I somehow was able to maintain my composure. I then heard my dad speak firmly to my idiot brother, "We can't. Not yet. We need to speak to the council first before making any rash decisions. The council needs to decide. If we go in before they give the signal, that's grounds for a breach in the treaty. If we attack them first, that gives them reason to attack us."

I wasn't surprised at all by Paul's next stream of furious statements, "So what?! They're vampires! We should be wiping them out! They're unnatural. Let there be a war between sides. Your ancestors should never have made the treaty with those things in the first place!"

There was a silence throughout all the grounds around the cabin. There was a tender subject that many of us did not discuss about Paul. The tribe where he was from. Paul was from the Makah tribe, the rest of us are Quileute. I stiffened and didn't move as I watched everyone else.

Paul had just accused us and our Quileute ancestors for putting Bella and her mother in danger.

Dad's lips became thinned as he stared at what I suspect he saw as a stupid, insolent boy, and said, voice indicating he wasn't going to take Paul's shit anymore, "You foolish boy. Those ancestors you're talking about were hunting vampires long before you're mother was even born," At the mention of Paul's mother, we all cringed. Our mothers were things we didn't like discussing, ever. Dad however continued on, "My grandfather made a political decision based on sparing the lives of possibly countless from the vampires by making a treaty with them."

My dad took a breath as he started, still staring up at the now sheepish Paul, "I knew it was only a matter of time before the Cullens gave in to their true nature, but till now, as far as I know, they haven't attacked anyone within Forks or La Push. This is new of them. But I knew that it wouldn't be long before the Cullens did what they were supposed to. But they've upheld their end of the treaty, till now. And that's why you idiotic child, we need to speak to the elders first, before making a move."

I watched as Paul started shaking, face contorting into anger and heaving his breath in rage at my father's condescending words. Immediately, I edged closer, getting ready to transform so as to restrain my brother from ripping my father's face right off.

Thankfully, Paul seemed to have more control than I gave him credit for. He puffed and growled, glaring murderously at my father who remained stone-faced. Finally, Paul exhaled and sagged, still glaring though.

Sam chose that time to step in. He spoke up, "Paul, get yourself together. We'll go after the leeches, but only after talking with the rest of the elders. We need to get Old Quil and Sue. I want to know what they think as well as what Billy thinks."

He then looked at me, eyes focused and intense as he spoke again, "Jacob, come here and help me get this moron out of here. We need to have a meeting with Billy, Old Quil and Sue."

I nodded stiffly, but managed to move my feet enough so that I was next to Paul and grabbed him by the arm, dragging him along. Paul glanced at me, eyes resentful as he grumbled, "This is bad. Being hauled off by a the lover of a leech lover."

I growled, tightening my grip on his arm, making him flinch. "You know, you really pushed it by saying that to my dad!" I snapped at him, "I mean, what are you; a moron?! Speaking to a member of the council like that could get you taken out of patrol for two whole weeks."

"Shut up, Black," Paul hissed, "They're leeches. All they can do is evil. They need to be eradicated. I don't care about your little girlfriend either. She wants to be one of them, she can die with them."

My fist was soon flying through the air, into Paul's face before I could show even an ounce of willpower. My fist collided with Paul's lower jaw, and I heard a sickening cracking noise on contact. I heard Paul grunt in pain and I forgot all my good intentions as I dropped his arm and found myself transforming; fur covering my skin and fangs as big and sharp as butcher knives sprouting from my gums.

Paul backed away, eyes startled. I knew in a few seconds his haughtiness would be back, but right now, I couldn't help but enjoy the piece of shit's fear.

I roared at him, rearing back on my hind legs as I could feel the muscles in them increase. My wolf claws emerged and the sensations of my snout and ears growing told me that the transformation was almost complete. My snout and ears were the last parts of my body that grew when I phased. My clothes had all shredded away and I was now a horse-sized wolf, snarling threateningly at Paul. I heard Sam, Jared, Embry, Emily and my father screaming at me to calm down, but I blanked them out as I concentrated on one goal; ripping apart the fucker that said that Bella should die with the leeches.

"Jacob, stop!" I heard my father's voice but I couldn't respond. Too busy looking at my prey and smelling his shitty fear to care. However, the fear didn't last long. Instead, I smelled the stench of anger. Paul growled, the sound matching my own as he began to phase as well.

Silver fur covered his body, his shape started to grow; head, legs and arms now massive in size. I then sensed someone else phasing. I glanced to the side and saw a flash of raven black fur shooting out of Sam's skin. "Sorry to have to do this to you guys." Sam growled out, taking on his full wolf form before us.

I heard his voice boom in our heads, _"That's enough, both of you!"_ her roared at us, _"I am your ALPHA! You will do as I say! And you will stop fighting this instant! Paul, Jacob, the both of you will remain calm and return to your human forms, NOW!"_

Instantly, I could feel the rage dissipating and my body slowly regaining human features. My ears and fur sucked back into me. My teeth were absorbed back into my gums.

I heard Sam's mental snarl as my phasing back to human lessen, but I could make out what he was saying, _"I'm warning the both of you, if you continue to fight in either wolf forms or human forms, I'm going to restrict you from patrol. Both of you! Now I forbid either of you to start a fight again until after we speak to the elders!"_

Paul and I were both now in our pure human and rather naked forms. I grunted angrily as I was now a nearly hairless man and stormed past Sam's huge wolf form to his and Emily's cottage to get some more shorts.

I heard Paul growl at me, "Asshole." I tensed, but a warning snarl from Sam kept both me and Paul fucking-moron Lahote in line.

As I moved, I heard someone phasing and I knew Sam would be joining us in our physical humanity for now. I got inside and grabbed a dark blue duffel bag off the wooden coffee table that had some clothes in it. After I had shoved my shorts on and grabbed two pairs of extra shorts for my two also nude brothers, and walked outside, sending daggers at Paul, Sam spoke up in a commanding tone, "I don't want to see any more conflict between brothers. We will speak to the elders, and based on what they feel, we will take action."

All this was said by Sam as he was nude. Oh brother…..

I tossed Sam his shorts and nodded in agreement to his statement. I glowered at the fucker to my right for a second. Man, I hated Paul sometimes. I threw the shorts I had gotten for him down on the dirty ground, and walked past him uncaringly.

**The Cullen Residence:**

**Esme's POV:**

I shifted my gaze to the stairs; seeing Alice coming down swiftly, but quietly. I had heard Bella drifting off to sleep only five minutes ago. I had also heard Alice promise Bella that she wouldn't leave her side while the human was sleeping.

I narrowed my eyes at my pixie-like daughter, confused why she lied. Alice just smiled playfully. "It's alright, mom," She chuckled, "I know when she's going to wake up." She looked serious a moment later as her tone became grim, "Mom, I came down because we need to talk. About Bella and about what we're going to do."

I watched her before nodding and walking towards the large dark green sofa in the living room, gesturing for her to sit down next to me as I lowered myself to the couch's cushion.

Alice slid up and jumped down onto the sofa with surprising force. If I were human, the brisk impact would have startled me.

Alice looked at me, eyes meeting mine intensely. "Mother," She began, voice like trickling water, "Bella feels that she's responsible for Renee's disappearance. We both know that that's not true, but she needs comfort right now. She needs someone to help her move on with her life. She won't be happy about coming with us, if we don't help her. She needs to hear that we understand why she's angry at us."

I felt a flash of anger that Alice would suggest that I didn't realize Bella's position. Of course I knew why Bella was mad at us. She made it incredibly apparent and almost impossible to ignore. I felt a stab of pain that Alice was insinuating that I didn't know why Bella was so hurt and upset. I suspected that though Alice mainly saw the future, it was obvious my feelings must have been on my face, because Alice put her hands up in defense as she spoke.

Her gentle words were, "Mother, I know you know why she's angry. I'm not saying that you don't, but we need to talk about how to help her cope with it. She feels that we betrayed her and she needs to feel like we're on her side. Look at how she acts when she feels we're doing something out of line."

Alice took a breath and I saw her appearance become saddened, "Every time we do something she doesn't like; show her that we can hear or see something that she doesn't, or try to act like we're her family, she gets frustrated. I think it's because she feels like we're making a show of our power-like she feels like we're taking advantage or trying to show that we're superior. She needs to feel like she can trust us enough not to think that we'll abuse our power."

I shook my head. I knew what Alice was saying, but I hated it. "We won't betray her." I said, trying to dismiss such ridiculous accusations.

"We already have." Alice snapped, eyes now becoming dark, "Or have you already put the guilt out of your mind? We've already betrayed her. We left her."

I couldn't help but glare at her. The pain Alice caused me just now burned-felt like a searing hot poker was being pressed to my soul.

After feeling like an ant under a magnifying glass for a good few minutes with Alice's burning gaze fixated on me, I finally digressed, "We'll sit Bella down and see if we can talk about everything." I sighed, looking down at the carpet, "She won't be happy about this, you know."

I felt Alice nod next to me. "I know," she whispered, "And I'd be surprised if she wasn't angry about us doing this. My guess? She'll assume that we're trying to tell her what to do, or that we want her change her behavior. Either way, she'll interpret it as us trying to control her life. But this has to be done."

I nodded. I shouldn't be hard on Alice. She had gone through a great deal herself; breaking up with Jasper, choosing to be with Bella, having to receive verbal abuse from Edward; Alice was a lot less stressed than she probably should be.

I breathed out, defeated, "I'm sorry, Alley," I used her nickname out of affection, "I know I haven't shown the most attention to you these last couple of days. I've just been so worried about Bella and fed up with Edward." I inhaled. God, I sounded awful. I probably sounded like how Renee would have, sputtering one of her pitiful excuses.

Alice leaned forward, placing her right hand over my own. "Mother," She said, voice incredibly soothing, "It's alright. I love you. We all do. You're the only mother I've ever known."

I almost choked up when I heard that. Talking about her lack of memories from her human life was a difficult thing to discuss for Alice; I knew that, but listening to her tell me that I was the only mother that she knew and loved made me feel like I could burst out sobbing if I could still cry.

However, emotion _did _overtake me and I whimpered out, "Alice….,"

"Shh, mother." Alice said, voice still gentle, and moved closer to me, wrapping her arms around my neck and burying her face against my shoulder. I embraced my small daughter as well, dry sobbing into her black, spikey hair. I heard Alice growling-though I knew it was a pleased sound, and combed my fingers against her scalp. I almost laughed in joy, realizing just how lucky I was to have this life, or whatever it was I could call it.

I had five children that loved me; albeit one was currently stewing and angry in Alaska as far as I knew, and there would be a sixth child soon who loved me just as much, and a mate….while admittedly guilt-ridden due to believing that he was responsible for Edward's arrogance, (which to a certain extent, he was right about, we both are to blame) I knew at that moment, I truly had "lucked out" as the saying went, when it came to the immortal life I was given.

"Mother." Alice sighed, her voice sounding at peace.

I pat her back gently, and then I felt her shift slightly, glancing up at me. "Mother," She repeated, "Forgive me, but Bella's going to wake up in two hours. So we should get ready to speak with her." Her voice sounded grim when she ended that sentence, "And….there's something else…..I have to tell you."

I looked down at her, concerned by how her voice sounded.

"Alice, honey?" I breathed quietly, "What is it?"

Alice made an effort to move out of my arms, and so I released her, giving her room to move. She then sat up fully and looked at me; her eyes remaining sorrowful.

"Alice?" I asked again, my question becoming more intent-so as to hear the answer.

Alice hesitated, and I knew that what she was about to say would make my hair stand on end. She finally spoke, "I had a vision, just now. I swear I didn't see it until after Bella had fallen asleep." Her eyes became panicked, "It's about what Edward's done."

I didn't move. The sadness and joy I felt just now became frozen in this abrupt news. Now I could do was stare at my daughter with a questioning look.

"What has Edward done?" I knew as soon as I asked that question, I'd regret it.

**La Push:**

**The wolves and the elders:**

**Sam Uley's POV:**

I swear I was getting a headache from listening to these idiot brothers of mine. Only two hours ago, I had heard Paul and Jacob arguing ever since they phased back to being human. I had given them an order, keeping either of them from transforming any time soon. But unfortunately, I wasn't about to make them shut up permanently, so I at the very least gave them free speech.

And I was regretting every moment of it. Between Paul calling Jacob a "little bitch," and Jacob calling Paul a worthless pile of dog shit, I was just going to bash my head against a tree for good measure as a means of proving to myself just what kind of big idiot I was, as soon as we got to the elders.

As we encroached on the circle of the elders, I could make out all of the council members. The most important of course, were Billy Black, Sue Clearwater, Old Quil, and myself. They all sat on large, dark brown logs, facing the scorching orange flame of the campfire.

The grass where the logs were lain was dark green in the fire's light, and the trees seemed unusually eerie in the shadows that cloaked their forms. The only two hints at there being any path to some human presence besides the elders, was the house that belonged to Old Quil that was at least a few feet from the circle where the fire was, and the road where the occasional car would come into the driveway.

I saw Sue turn her head from the fire to look at me. I simply nodded to her as she gave me a welcoming smile. I was incredibly grateful to her for her kindness. No matter what I had done to her daughter; Leah, she was always forgiving. She understood the pain of imprinting.

"Hello, Sam," She acknowledged, smile widening, "Come, you, Jacob, Paul, Jared, Embry, Seth and Leah probably need to sit down." She moved over and gave us room on the logs. Jared, who was smirking, thinking that Jacob and Paul's quarrel was the most hilarious thing in the world, which for him, it probably was, ended up being the first to sit down.

Even before I sat down on the log, I chose that time to alert the elders of what had happened. "We believe that the Cullens have broken the treaty," I started, voice becoming full of dread, "I assume you heard about Renee Dreyer, Bella's mother." I didn't need an answer, I already knew that everyone in both Forks and La Push had learned about the woman missing.

"Indeed," Old Quil said gruffly, eyes dangerous, "We did hear about it. I knew those Cullens couldn't be trusted. They'll make excuses that they only drink animal blood, but by the end of the day, they'll always be leeches. Always."

I grunted in agreement and walked over to the logs. We were distracted, however, when we smelled two familiar scents; one of gas and car fuel, and another that was an odious stench. A bloodsucker.

We whirled around, all growling in the direction of where we could smell the hideous vampire. We saw a small, silver car drive into the driveway of where the meeting was, and the car door opened, revealing one of the Cullens. The young looking one with red hair, the one that Bella seemed to be so obsessed with.

"You!" Jacob yelled, body shaking again in his rage; clearly viewing the vampire as a rival for Bella's affections. Thankfully, I wasn't so clouded by those stupid petty feelings. I saw the vampire for what he really was; an abomination and the direct reason for Bella to be depressed and to be acting so erratically.

"What do you want, leech?!" Paul sneered, teeth bared, also heaving his breath in and out as if trying to transform but being kept from doing so by some invisible force.

The invisible force that was stopping him from simply ripping the bloodsucker apart was my Alpha order.

I was facing the vampire, but I could her Old Quil, Sue and the rest of the elders stand up and face our intruder. I heard the sounds as well of Billy's wheel chair turning towards the vampire. The undead creature looked mournful and depressed. His face strangely even more ashen than the last time i had lain eyes on him, he wore dark grey clothing-a strangely fancy suit. I didn't know why-but it somehow reminded me of funeral attire.

"What do you want?" I demanded, deciding we needed to hear honesty before we senselessly attacked the monster, at least not until we came to a conclusion about the treaty.

The golden-eyed vampire looked at us, no expression on his face as he moved towards us.

"That's far enough, leech!" Paul snarled.

The vampire stopped and his eyes became rueful. "I have a name, you know." He gave in answer, "It's Edward."

"We're not interested in that!" Paul snapped, teeth now clenched, "You're just a monster to us!"

"Edward" only shrugged and looked at us calmly. He spoke with a soft and yet willful tone, "I wanted to confess a terrible sin that my family has committed. I'm sure that you all believe that my family is responsible for Renee Dreyer's disappearance and death. Well, you are all quite right."

I generally try not to let my emotions be apparent on my face, but for once, I think my façade broke when I heard those words. He was actually confessing that his family did it? My eyes got wide and my lower jaw drifted apart from my upper jaw.

Before any of my brothers reacted, Edward spoke up again, "Esme, the vampire who acts as my mother was the one that killed her. I begged her not to do it, but she wouldn't listen. Esme Cullen was the one that killed Renee Dreyer. And you know why she did it?" Edward's voice became disgusted, "Because she plans to take Bella away from Renee and turn Bella into a vampire."

Jacob spat disgusted, "We know about Bella trying to be a vampire. You fuckers brainwashed her!" I decided to interrupt his emotional tirade with a quick snap at him and then turned back to Edward, "Is this true? Is this absolutely true? Did Esme Cullen kill Renee? Remember, Cullen; you are risking the treaty. And if you are lying-"

"I'm telling the truth," Edward nearly snarled at us, "Esme is to blame for Renee's death. She fed on Renee. I almost didn't come here because she's my mother. But she has decided to put all of us in danger by breaking the rules of the treaty, and she still did it. She was jealous of Renee's relationship with Bella. That was why. Her selfishness has endangered us all. That is why I'm telling you this."

I heard a chorus of angry growls next to me, as well as the sounds of Sue gasping behind me. It seemed it had been confirmed for us. The treaty had been broken, but not by us. The Cullens had overstayed their welcome and had given into their bloodthirsty instincts. Or at least Esme Cullen; the "mother" of the coven had. She was to die as soon as I gave the order.

"It's official." I growled out; concentrated on the plan, "The Cullens have betrayed the treaty." I turned to my now very dangerous brothers, "I want a hunt on Esme Cullen."

I heard Edward step closer and I turned to growl at him menacingly, till he said in a firm tone, "If you do not mind, I would like to help. Esme was the one that betrayed the treaty. I believe that the most I can do is make up for our family's betrayal by helping you catch and punish my mother."

Paul hissed next to me, "Like we're going to trust you!" He bared his teeth again, "You're just a filthy leech, we don't have to listen to a thing you say-"

"Enough!" I spat, cutting him off immediately, "Silence!" I looked back at Edward, "You will help us? If I find out that you are deceiving us, bloodsucker-"

"I will not betray you," Edward interrupted me, voice apologetic, "I reported Esme to you because this is a matter of justice. I only want her to be judged and punished. I have betrayed no one, and I will not betray you either."

I stared at the supernatural parasite. Was he telling the truth when he said that he wouldn't backstab us? He claimed he wasn't turning on his family, so technically, since he only was seeking justice on _one _vampire, he was not really a traitor. No, if he was, that would be obvious that he couldn't be trusted. However, since this, according to him was simply a matter of punishment for endangering the rest of his coven, I suppose I could understand.

I eyed him for a moment before speaking, "You will come with us when we go after this….Esme…..your mother…..you will point her out to us when we get there, I assume?"

Edward nodded eyes still mournful, "Of course. I don't want to risk you attacking either of my sisters when they did nothing. I'll show you which one she is when we get to the house."

I nodded, finally feeling myself giving way to this opportunity. We heard a confession from the mouth of one of the bloodsuckers themselves, and not only that but he was offering to lead us to the vampire that had committed the crime.

"Very well." I stated, decision made, "Come with us. But you will be watched by Jared, Seth and Leah. Should you make a wrong move, I will order them to rip you to shreds. But if you are honest, and will not betray us, then we shall work together well."

Edward nodded, suddenly smiling and walked forward, now nearly at the campfire, and extended his right hand, looking at me expectantly.

I glanced at Paul, Jared and Jacob who were all shaking their heads, wordlessly telling me not to touch him, but I ignored them. I was the Alpha; my decision was made and for now, Edward and our tribe had an alliance.

I stepped up till I was in front of Edward, reached out my right hand, and shook his cold, pale one in agreement.

**Oooh, it just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it? I imagine many people now want Edward's head. (****Grins) and that's just the way I like it. **

**Yes, I am evil, lol. **


End file.
